Category Archives: Attempted Provocation
I attempt to write daily because I am in the business of shifting paradigms, especially that of my own – so help me God.
top ten ways to encourage someone.
I know that “A pat on the back pushes out the chest”. And I’ve also learnt (and taught) that to “En-courage” someone is to “Put courage into” him. Sometimes, all we need is for someone to believe in us and to be our cheerleader; the older I get, the more I want to be someone else’s cheerleader. Don’t underestimate the power of speaking life into someone else’s life – you might just help him to realise his potential and help him to unlock his capacity to do things beyond what he’s normally capable of doing.
As such, in no order of importance, here are my top ten practical ways to encourage someone:
1. Listen to him intently and be genuinely interested in his life. Learn to draw insights out of him and provide a platform for him to share his heart. Don’t patronise him or brush off what he says but take him seriously. A good encourager listens.
2. Give him feedback whenever you see him in action. Every teachable person would want to learn where he did well and where he could improve in; you could be the difference between his future success and failure. A good encourager coaches.
3. Pray for him whenever you get an opportunity to, whether you’re with him or not. God is more powerful and loves him more than you do and so it’s comforting when you direct his reliance above. A good encourager intercedes.
4. Spend time together because giving him your time is giving him a part of your life. Time is an irreplaceable and irreversible entity, so when you take time to hang out with him, it tells him that he’s important to you. A good encourager avails himself.
5. Find out what he’s been up to (and stalk him online). Subscribe to his blog and read it regularly; whenever possible, check out his activity on social media platforms and leave your comments. A good encourager validates.
6. Message him periodically and randomly. It’s always nice to know that you’re on someone else’s mind; whenever the Holy Spirit brings someone to my mind, I will pray for him and tell him that I’ve done so. A good encourager remembers.
7. Rebuke him whenever necessary, in private. It’s better to tell the truth that hurts rather than the lie that kills. This risk you take may just forge a deeper relationship, and to establish your spiritual authority in his life. A good encourager corrects.
8. Praise him verbally and audibly in front of others. Everyone needs recognition; when you acknowledge his good work publicly, he will be motivated to grow because someone took note of his effort. A good encourager acknowledges effort.
9. Remember what he shared with you from the last session. Those without good memories must learn to make mental notes. If it’s important to him, it should be remembered by you. A good encourager recalls.
10. Bless him with a meal or a gift. It’s about the gesture – be it coffee, a pen, a book, a meal or just a pack of chocolates. People like to receive (but it is better to give than to receive). I tell my youths to pay it forward. A good encourager blesses.
That said, I think one of the most powerful ways to encourage someone is to remind him of his potential – tell him that he can do so much more, and have so much more room for improvement. Inspire him to develop his gifts and talents. Plant an insatiable hunger and thirst in him to grow. Remind him (in a loving manner, of course) that he’s nowhere near his final product. I’ve learnt that this is one of the best ways to stamp out complacency and infuse humility into someone.
But some of you might say, “I always encourage people but nobody encourages me!” It’s true and I shall not deny that there’s not enough encouragement to go around the world. But let me be the first to declare that I encourage people more than I am encouraged, and it has done me a world of wonders. Contrary to popular belief, encouraging others is to our benefit.
Perhaps we can take a paradigm shift and think of it this way instead: 1) our job is to encourage others and 2) our prayer is that God will send someone to encourage us. You see, if enough people achieve part 1, then part 2 will naturally be accomplished. Don’t worry about what you cannot control; instead, focus on what is within your control.
The Greek for Holy Spirit is “Parakletos” and the Greek for Encourage is “Parakaleo”. Para means to be “Called alongside” (someone). And that’s what the Holy Spirit does – to walk beside us. So I’m inclined to think when we encourage someone, we are most like the Holy Spirit.
Yes, it’s that simple if you want to mimic the Holy Spirit – you simply need to encourage someone today. (Do it now!)
if God was hungry, He would not tell you.
8 I have no complaint about your sacrifices or the burnt offerings you constantly offer. 9 But I do not need the bulls from your barns or the goats from your pens. 10 For all the animals of the forest are mine, and I own the cattle on a thousand hills. 11 I know every bird on the mountains, and all the animals of the field are mine. 12 If I were hungry, I would not tell you, for all the world is mine and everything in it. 13 Do I eat the meat of bulls? Do I drink the blood of goats? 14 Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God, and keep the vows you made to the Most High. 15 Then call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory. — Psalm 50:8-15 (NLT)
There are generally two types of workers in church – those who behave like dogs and those who behave like cats. You see, a dog thinks, “You provide for me, you bless me, you protect me and you love me… You must be God”. On the other hand, a cat thinks, “You provide for me, you bless me, you protect me and you love me… I must be God”. And in my years of serving God, I’ve come across both types.
I believe that workers with the dog attitude serve God out of gratitude; it seems almost second-nature and instinctive for them to offer their time, energy and resources to God because of His redemptive work in their lives. However, there are also workers with the cat attitude and they serve God out of obligation, thinking that God actually needs them to serve Him. I’d like to commend the dogs of the church and speak in love to the cats, in light of Psalm 50:8-15.
Now, I don’t think God is picky, choosy or nosey about what you offer to Him. In my years of walking with God, I don’t think God has ever frowned at what I have offered. So the issue here isn’t with God, but with us, especially when we have a tendency to think that our offering to God is more important that it really is. God doesn’t have a problem with your offering so don’t make it a problem for yourself.
For those who serve God out of obligation – coming to church more than twice weekly, preparing a cell lesson, putting a song list together, counseling a troubled youth or organising an event – I am thankful for your contribution, but I also want to remind you that you’re not the only one who’s serving; in fact, there are scores out there who out-give and out-do what you have given and done.
Now, it is easy to get legalistic about serving God and once we start to compare our contributions with each other, everything becomes flawed. Therefore, I’m inclined to think that it’s not about the size of your contribution but the manner in which you contribute. Don’t serve God contentiously or competitively. That’s a foolish attitude to have. All of us are important to God, but none of us are indispensable workers.
Your output does not impress God – because everything you give to and do for Him belongs to Him anyway. Think about it – your domesticated gifts (“bulls from your barns” and “goats from your pens”) are His to begin with. Everything that you have honed and developed over years of training belongs to Him. And your undiscovered gifts (“animals of the forest”, “cattle on a thousand hills”, “every bird on the mountains” and “all the animals of the field”) belong to Him too. The way I look at it, what we offer to God pales in comparison to what He already has, in better quality and in abundance.
People often compliment me for my speaking and writing skills, as well as my leadership capacity. I am thankful for their generous encouragement but when I bring compliments before the Lord to ask Him to help me make sense of it, I know that these gifts and talents that I have do not belong to me. God planted it from the beginning and grew it over time. I would never take credit for His grace in my life. It’s always humbling to remember the route that I would have taken if Jesus didn’t save my soul. When people praise me, I thank them, but on the inside, I tell myself that it is God whom they are praising, not me. Reality check – don’t believe your own press.
No wonder God stated that if He was hungry, He wouldn’t even breathe a word to us because of how big-headed that would make us! I think King David wrote that because he wanted to remind us of our finiteness and finality. It would be preposterous for us to think that God desires and longs for our offering. Come on, what a ludicrous thought in light of the Almighty! God is already powerful and in control. Contrary to popular belief, He doesn’t need us to serve Him.
Don’t get me wrong – yes, the Church needs workers, but God doesn’t. It’s not about the work that we do but the attitude that we do the work with that distinguishes us. The scary thing is that we focus on making the work excellent and the job impressive for accomplishing it well would garner praise and attention from men. But how dangerous it would be if we do not check the condition of our hearts! It’s something that only the Holy Spirit and you would know… And we can’t deceive Him.
If I were to use my sanctified imagination to read this text, I can almost imagine a sarcastic tone from the psalmist when He asked the two rhetorical questions: “Do I eat the meat of bulls? Do I drink the blood of goats?” Seriously, I think we should stop patronising God with our “service” because quite frankly, it insults Him and makes Him look desperate for us. May God forbid that attitude! Get this right – God is never hungry and God owns everything. Don’t try to impress Him (like Cain tried) by offering something you think is impressive. How impressive is it really, if we give to God what already belongs to Him? Stop fooling yourself.
Instead, do the four things the psalmist suggests.
Firstly, always be thankful (v14a). In the context of God being all-powerful and in control of everything, isn’t our only and right response be one of thankfulness? I’m truly inclined to believe that an attitude of gratitude pleases God most. The most appropriate phrase to utter after you’ve been blessed is, “Thank you”. When we adopt that posture, it helps us to remember that we are helpless and not in control. It reminds us of our finiteness and finality, that we are mere mortal beings created by an eternal God.
Next, fulfill your vows (v14b). Obedience is better than sacrifice; how you obey God trumps what you sacrifice for God. Perhaps this is a good time for us to think about the many things that we have promised God: doing our quiet time, fulfilling the missions pledge, going on a mission trip, evangelising to our colleagues, bringing our classmates to church, spending time with our family, working on our weaknesses, etc. If we actually accomplished 50% of our spiritual goals, our ministries would flourish – I can almost guarantee that! A healthy and growing Church has healthy and growing members! My mentor says, “If you take care of the depth of your life, God will take care of the breath of your ministry”.
Thirdly, call upon God (v15a). I hang on to the scriptural truth, that if I call unto God in my day of trouble, He will answer and deliver me. I trust that God is my ultimate search and rescue team. He is the One who will lift me up and bring me out of pain and despair. He is the One who will show me the way to eternity as I run this race to see His face. There’s one thing that only Jesus can do that I (or anyone else) can’t do myself - saving me from eternal separation from God. Let God be God and let Him deliver you when you are in trouble!
Finally, give God glory (v15b). This, I think, is the easiest of all to do, because it is a natural response. God’s grace is this: using the gifts of God for the glory of God. When we are thankful for all that He’s given to us, we will give Him glory; when He helps us to fulfill our vows, we will give Him glory; when God delivers us when we call upon Him, we will give Him glory.
So today, if you are a dog for God, continue in that attitude of gratitude. But if you possess a cattitude, then it is time for you to rethink the way you serve and honour God – in and out of church. Failure to do so would be a catastrophe.
the five most dangerous types of leaders.
I’ll be the first to admit that I am not the most refined of leaders and I still have a long way (read: a lifetime) to go before I can say I’ve truly mastered the art of leadership. While I may not be able to come up with a definitive “Five Key Ingredients of Leadership”, I think I might be able to articulate what I deplore about unacceptable leadership.
These are the five pitfalls, failures and dangerous types of leaders that I’ve encountered (and conjured), off the top of my head.
1. The Indecisive Leader.
There is nothing more frustrating for followers than to subjected to a fickle-minded leader with a soft ear; he who seeks to please people instead of standing firm on decisions is he who eventually loses credibility amongst the same people. Once compromise kicks in, the best decision is usually abandoned and no one will benefit in the long run. Leaders must be courageous in their decision-making ability. It is unbelievably demoralising for followers to do double-work to make up for a leader who didn’t do his work properly.
2. The Insecure Leader.
Leaders who are insecure do not plan for succession and are afraid to give their power away. Eventually, their dynasty dies with their departure, their legacy disintegrates with their downfall and their people disperse with their descent. What’s scarier than an insecure leader? A proud one, for he will end up becoming a control freak. Insecure leaders tend to be myopic and never lead beyond themselves. They exist only to build their own name, which will eventually go down with them anyway.
3. The Inscrutable Leader.
If a leader can’t articulate what’s on his mind, it is his sole responsibility to find someone who can help him express his ideas; if a leader refuses to tell people what’s on his mind, then how can he expect his followers to understand where he is taking them? I’m of the humble opinion that all leaders must learn how to communicate effectively. Contrary to popular belief, communication is a skill that can be learnt, not an innate gift. Also, I believe that there is no leader is beyond investigation and no decision beyond scrutiny.
4. The Incompetent Leader.
For any leader to be effective in his undertakings, he must first exhibit a fundamental level of capital and capability. In short, he must be competent at what he does and it would be a bonus if he inspires the people with his knowledge and skills. If a leader is low on skills, it is his onus to do something about his inadequacy. I’d like to think that the saddest thing that could ever happen to a leader is when he is no longer teachable. And as for the adage, I believe that there is no dog too old to be unable to learn a new trick; keep up with the times!
5. The Inactive Leader.
There is nothing more uninspiring than a lazy leader without drive, passion, intensity, hunger and an insatiable appetite to grow and improve. Leaders must always remember that they are leading people, not machines. Once their love for people diminishes, they will start to look at people like commodities to be traded and tossed about. Remember always, love people and use things, not use people and love things. A leader must always carry with him a discontentment with the status quo and an unstoppable desire to develop.
Now, my question for you – are you a dangerous leader?
May I never become what I have described, so help me God.
the price of grace is the prize of grace.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” — Ephesians 2:8-9 (ESV)
My trip to Perth in October was my third visit there. However, it was the first time I was stopped by the customs officer for a bag check. Australian customs are a lot stricter than Singapore’s and there was a platoon of inspection officers even though my flight touched down at midnight. The following is my account of what happened.
According to the customs officer who stopped me and requested to check my luggage for contraband items, a bag check is performed every 30 minutes on a random individual. And since I had nothing to hide, I decided to make conversation with him. I told him that it’s a great thing that the customs procedure was so strict because not every airport is so vigilant.
As I interacted with him, I observed that he’s professional and proficient in what he does; he knew by heart the contents of the declaration card and was familiar with the bags inspection procedures. He asked for my name and went to retrieve my declaration card, then he verified if I had filled up the card and packed the luggage myself.
I offered to help him as he opened my luggage, but he insisted on doing it himself. He was meticulous and checked every single corner of every available space (without messing up my belongings). He conducted the search under my supervision and as he rummaged through my things, he articulated everything that he was doing.
Once again, he asked if I had read the rules and regulations in the declarations before I signed on it. I nodded. Then he brought out the card and pointed to the section where it read that dairy and wood were banned. I nodded. Of course I knew that those were prohibited items.
But what I didn’t realise was that there was milk powder in the 3-in-1 coffee sachets I brought over and there was wood in Liang Zhi’s Gibson Les Paul electric guitar (7.8kg of wood – duh!) that I had helped him lug over.
I was caught off-guard at my negligence; I took these things for granted because they didn’t look dangerous or like a prohibited item. At least, that was what I had assumed.
Thankfully, the customs officer perceived that I had made a genuine mistake and that I didn’t do it on purpose. He asked what I did for a living and I think my occupation did help to prove my credibility and honesty.
Well, I readied myself to pay taxes for the guitar (and perhaps charge it to Liang Zhi later), as well as to have the eight sachets of coffee confiscated and discarded. I even said to him in jest, “Oh well, there goes my morning coffee for the next week…”
He flashed a wry smile, then he described the penalty of my error. The severity of my oversight hit me hard and I gulped at the seriousness of the offence. So I asked him what would happen from here and what would happen to me (and these items).
For some strange reason (read: grace of God), he decided not to pursue the matter.
“I’m going to let you pass this time but this check will be recorded. If you make such a mistake again, I can’t guarantee that you’d be let off the hook”, he asserted.
I was surprised by his demonstration of grace but I sincerely thanked him for dropping the case.
***
As I pushed my trolley out of the airport, I thought about the grace of God in this scenario.
All Bible-reading believers would know that the wages of sin is death – it’s spelt out clearly for everyone in Romans 6:23. And any responsible evangelist would have explained its severity – eternity without God. (I know reading “eternity without God” doesn’t sound as scary, but if you think about it, it’s a rather petrifying thought!)
Yet we take no heed to it, be it through taking God’s grace for granted or being negligent about our salvation. And when we get into trouble, all we can do is to plead innocence. But how innocent are we, really? A good number of us are callous and careless about abusing the grace of God.
Yes, I believe God will be like the customs officer – “This time, I’ll let you off…” But more importantly, what is our response towards His grace? I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve repented repeatedly about abusing the grace of God – I’m guilty as charged.
For me, I will take extra caution to ensure that I do not make the same mistake again when it comes to packing dairy or wood (or any other contraband items) without declaring it. I learnt, from my first-hand experience, that the grace of God shouldn’t cause us to sin some more, but to sin no more. What a timely reminder.
Innocent until proven guilty.
a sick note’s sick note.
I shall attempt to string some thoughts together as I await the cough medication to take effect and knock me out.
1. In the last 24 hours I have sneezed and blown out so much mucus that the skin of my nose is starting to peel off. My work rate has dipped significantly and that’s discouraging. I am officially a serial Kleenex waster. I need a tissue for my issue.
2. The end of the year is drawing close at a scary pace and with it comes the completion of a two-year succession plan. I fear it as much as I anticipate it. But I take comfort that inadequacy is the beginning of reliance. 1:300 is scary whichever way you look at it.
3. Marriage preparations have been on-the-ball so far and we’re making the first couple of major payments. It’s a test of our financial resources and a trust in His divine providence for our needs. Paying for renovations and the banquet will be the ultimate test.
4. Besides what I do for survival, I’m also working on a few side projects – things that challenge me creatively – that makes me thrive. I concur that I’m indeed a fire-starter, not a flame-fanner. May the Lord grant me the resilience to complete these things.
5. Communication is a two-way process. So what if one can articulate his thoughts but fail to allow others to express theirs? On that note, I’m hoping that I will be able to pick up a couple of tips from Huiyi, no less, on how to be an even better listener.
6. There’s a part of me that cannot wait to embark on my theological education next Fall but the thought of studying and working at the same time (for the next half a decade) is frankly, quite demoralising. The workload will be heavy. I need His future grace.
7. Comparison, contention, conceit and competition can be overcome by celebration and contemplation. One of life’s real test is to be genuinely happy for someone; it’s not as easy as it sounds – you’d be surprised at your inner conversations, if you can hear them.
8. Something that I’ve shared with my mentorees recently is something that I’ve picked up from my mentor: if we operate by our capital (knowledge) and capabilities (skills), we can only bring it as far as we can. Let’s learn to operate from capacity (potential), so that by faith and trust, God can bring it further than we can; sounds strange, but I’d be devastated if one day I’d have fulfilled all my potential – that’d mean that I can longer grow anymore. May my insatiable appetite for growth never diminish.
9. There are days where I just want to abscond to another dimension with Huiyi and live like hermits for the rest of our lives – where our world only contained two of us. I wonder what God thinks of this. Maybe He’s grinning at my musing.
10. I return to the pulpit this weekend with the discipline of silence and solitude; this is quite possibly the hardest sermon I’d preach in this series because I’m always restless and packed with back-to-back activities. Maybe being ill will help me to learn this art.
I like to write. And when I make time to, I feel so much more organised, inspired and energised. I hope I will be able to return to the 2010 Q1 and Q2 days where I was writing almost one post everyday. For now, this will suffice. Writing is cathartic, baby.
questions for reflection.
There are four questions regarding the next generation that I will be reflecting upon in the next few days.
1. What are their cries?
2. What are their felt needs?
3. What are their real needs?
4. What are the solutions?
There are four questions regarding church vehicles that I will also be reflecting upon in the next few days.
1. What is the purpose of a cell group?
2. What is the purpose of a mentoring group?
3. What is the purpose of a discipleship group?
4. How do you integrate these three groups in a church?
I have four thoughts to dwell upon.
1. Unless values change, nothing changes.
2. The difference between chronological and iconical thinking.
3. The distinction between synchronical and diachronical events.
4. The remedy to a contrarian mindset.
If food is for thought, then reflection cures indigestion.
