Category Archives: Attempted Provocation
I attempt to write daily because I am in the business of shifting paradigms, especially that of my own – so help me God.
I don’t like telling God how good people say I am.
One of the many lessons I caught from EC was this: “You bring both criticisms and compliments before the Lord.”
It’s easy to go to God when you feel either discouraged by people’s negative comments or disappointed by a poor decision made. It’s only natural that during these times we turn our eyes to Jesus to look at His wonderful face in light of our woeful situations. After all, our God is a God who comforts and we will find many instances of Scripture which assures us of this attribute of God.
It is the other part that we often struggle to bring before God. Well, for me at least – I know I frequently resist letting God screen the compliments that people feed me. How foolish and conceited I have been!
I believe that you can test a man’s competence and calibre by watching him through tests and trials. But if you want to test a man’s true character and source of confidence, you only need to give him power and popularity. The maxim stands true: absolute power corrupts absolutely.
God has been faithful to me by constantly putting great people around me – those who believe in me and affirm the things I do. While I am grateful for these necessary sources of encouragement, I have now become acutely aware of its accompanying dangers too. I am certain that as I grow in capabilities and capacities, compliments will continue to surround me. Don’t get me wrong – I won’t shun it or play the modesty game. No, I’ll present it before the Lord instead and ask Him to help me discern it.
I must not believe my own hype; I must not be deceived by people’s hyperbole; I must not achieve a state of haughtiness. Oh Lord, help me to conceive humility! Seek not the applause of men but the approval of God – I must live out this axiom and find true security in God alone. Yes, humility, integrity and sufficiency must indeed come together.
Fill me with your wisdom, oh Lord, and give me an insatiable appetite to seek true humility. May the only thing I boast about be what Christ has done for me on the cross of Calvary!
Henceforth, I shall commit to my Creator both criticisms and compliments so that my convictions are continuously corrected and my character is constantly changed for the sake of Christ! Apart from Jesus, I can do nothing; I am absolutely nothing without Christ. What a sobering statement.
why you should attend the church’s annual business meeting.
I have neither been instructed nor felt like it was my duty as a church employee to write this post; this is a completely voluntary and perhaps even purgatory entry as a result of my day-long dialogue with the Spirit about ABM.
On my way to school after the ABM dry run and briefing in GII, I recalled what it was like for me to attend ABM as a fresh-from-baptism-first-year-church-member. I anticipated it with excitement – partly due to novelty as a first-timer but mostly because I was acutely interested in the deeper workings of the church… It was after all, my church – the place I grew up in.
And this beginning conviction was something I needed to be reminded about today.
But truth be told. While I could only recognise 10% of the potential board members whom I had to vote for and was never a fan of the mandatory (and boring) graphs and numbers in the annual report, I did recognise the importance of my choices and acknowledged that I was indeed a big fan of my church.
I was intrigued by how their operations; I felt special knowing exclusive information before the everyone else did; I stopped nodding off when someone fires the occasional tough question; and of course, I get amused by how the pastors and board members attempt to reply, albeit awkwardly and sometimes even embarrassingly. The hot topic consistently seems to be how the church remunerates its pastors – somehow there’ll always be someone asking that question.
Well, for most of the youths (and especially those who are very young, new to the church or attending ABM for the first time), I honestly think this is how they will vote:
- Do I know him?
- Do I like his face?
- Do I know his children?
- Has he attended youth service before?
- Will he favour the youth ministry?
Maybe you’re a serious voter – good for you! – but that’s about as frank as it gets for me. At least that was how I voted the first time. Those board members with the 欠打 face or those who looked too serious never received my votes. Yes, I did pray before I cast my votes but it’s more of a “God, I hope this fella is the right chap!” than a “Oh Lord, open the skies and reveal Your choice to me!” Today of course, I know more than 50% of the board members, but come on, who was I kidding back then?
Nonetheless, whether I was an informed or ill-informed voter, I was still present and my vote made as big an impact as the gentleman who has been attending the church before I was born. With my votes, I represented my generation, my ministry and my personal convictions. I thank God that He knows the final verdict for every decision contested and I also thank God that I know I played a part in His plan. Without me, things might just turn out differently – not for the better or worse, just different.
If I may, I will make a sweeping statement here – I conclude that there were generally two types of church members: those who cared about their church and those who don’t. You can’t be in between. You can’t have conditions. Either you do, or you don’t. And how do I see the commitment in your heart? Very simple – by observing the choices that you have made.
This entry by the way, is not meant to prick your conscience. No, it’s an outcry of how the Spirit convicted my heart today. It was a necessary reminder of my role in the constitution of the church. Perhaps, just perhaps, you may be able to identify with me.
Let’s get excited about the direction of our beloved place of worship. Let’s get enthusiastic about making decisions that will shape our next generation. Let’s get energised about our church – after all, Jesus overcame death to build the church (Matthew 16:18)!
See you later at the 50th Annual Business Meeting – I can’t wait!
have you considered switching lenses?
This entry is referenced from the book of Haggai, where we observe two types of workers in the church. The older ones had probably experienced some form of glory days before. Hence it would be natural for them to:
- Look backwards towards good old days
- Reminisce past memories
- Remember what it used to be, and
- Relive history
More often than not, this constant comparison would leave them disappointed and disillusioned. The younger ones, however, are anticipating their own days of glory. Hence you would expect them to:
- Look forward towards new beginnings
- Be out to create new memories
- Imagine what it could be, and
- Want to make history
So this would naturally result in them being energised and driven. The difference was that the younger ones caught sight of the future – a glimpse of greatness and a flash of hope! So I believe that at the end of the day, in light of positivity or negativity which would inevitably happen around us, it boils down to perspective!
Ed Silvoso once said, “The greatest hindrance to faith is not unbelief but memories.” I concur. Our memories can indeed become hindrances and limitations to what God can do because we have a tendency to repeat positives and avoid negatives. This causes us to be reluctant to embrace new ideas and initiatives. Let’s not get caught in the rearview mirror. We must learn to honour the past, cherish the present and anticipate the future. It’s not our past that determines our future but God’s presence.
My favourite footballer, Eric Cantona (whom I saw in person just last week!) once said this, after he returned from an eight-month ban from kung-fu kicking a fan who verbally abused him – “I use the past to breed a better future.” We must not compare the former R-AGE, e-Gigs, camps, conferences or any other events (or even people!) with the future R-AGE. Every year is different and quite rightly so! Instead, we must look forward to the future with hope and expect that God will bring us from glory to glory.
For the older ones – don’t dishearten the younger ones… And for the younger ones – set an example for your leaders by inspiring and motivating them with your energy! When the energy of the young and the experience of the old comes together, the youth group becomes a powerful place.
Instead of comparing today with what happened in the past, the older ones must instead:
- Remind the youths of their heritage
- Encourage them
- Rely on their strength, and
- Not be wet blankets and water down their passion
Most importantly, they must provide a platform for God’s purposes to be performed through the younger ones. In turn, the younger ones must approach the elders this way:
- Remind them of their destiny
- Enthuse them
- Glean from their wisdom, and
- Not be foolish and ignore the advice of the older ones
One of the best thing they could do for themselves would be to approach the older ones to be mentored by them so that God’s purposes in their life could be progressed. The most dangerous thing for us to do is to compromise and meet in the middle – we end up neither here nor there and result in dissatisfaction. We must dream together to birth what God has deposited in our hearts! Remember, it’s all about interchanging our perspective for a better one from God!
if I’m really the way and the truth, I will lose my life.
Reality is a social construct – if we keep reinforcing a particular idea through the media and society, it becomes a reality; adjudged reality becomes present deceit and prolonged deceit becomes a fortified idea – even if the original idea is untrue! For example, popular sitcoms like FRIENDS or How I Met Your Mother promote pre-marital and casual sex. Over a decade, a practice that was once frowned upon by society has become acceptable to us – because it’s delivered through entertainment. Another example would be the lifestyles of Adam Lambert or Ellen DeGeneres amongst many other Hollywood celebrities, who are public about their sexual orientation. Over the years, a way of life that was once a taboo and biblically wrong has become tolerated and even embraced by most – because it’s endorsed by popular figures.
On a level close to home, being competitive and cutting each other’s throat in the name of academic excellence may have also cornered us to live and behave in a way that is not pleasing in God’s eyes. Yet we still continue to practise this way of getting ahead of one another because “everyone else is also doing it”. The result of this? Misplaced priorities which stem from an erroneous beliefs system. I know of many who engage in decadent activities even when they know it’s wrong and (eventually) meaningless, because fun is the highest priority of their life. But the end of the day, they still feel empty. Eventually, we will be caught in a state of repeated lack and dissatisfaction, where unmet expectations and a lack of fulfillment leaves us in a terribly frustrated state.
Through the many things that we pursue in this lifetime, we can choose to either build God’s house or our own… Unless we make God’s house our house! Are the things we build in this life for God to take pleasure in or for us to seek solace in? Where’s our focus – on our lives or on the God of our lives? We must examine ourselves and investigate our motives – be it at home, work, school or ministry. (I digress, but doing all four simultaneously is leaving me drained and tired.) Whose will are you pursuing – God’s or yours? Who will you believe and take reference from – God or the world?
And how will you know unless you spend time with the Lord? From my humble experiences, the root of all disillusionment and disorientation always stems from a lack of quality time (not quiet time) with the Lord. It has happened to me before (and it’s happening now, again); we must not lose sight of the purpose behind the passion. Benny Ho said this – “You don’t get what you should get because you don’t do what you should do!” I thought about it for a little while and drew the next conclusive statement… “You don’t know what you should do because you don’t know who you should know!”
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight. (Proverbs 9:10)
Are you short-changing God when you serve Him? Do you often give more attention, time, energy and resources to the office or school? You can, don’t get me wrong – in fact, you must do your best in your work and studies – but you cannot and must not give God any lesser than what you give to school or work. After all, God gave you the best – Jesus Christ – and eternal life! May we always invite the Spirit to investigate our ways and point us back to God!
ten disjointed thoughts and an attempt to resume writing.
1. Numbness is a clear symptom of pre-burnout; it’s a terrible feeling (paradoxically speaking) not being able to feel. All I asked God for today was to help me love Him with my heart. I have little problems loving Him with my mind, soul and strength or even loving others. But to love God with my emotions seemed like the hardest thing to do. Nonetheless, the key word here, is “pre” and the response to numbness is gratitude of foresight; the insight of foresight.
2. Ever since planning for Rhema 2010 began, everything seemed like a task to and for me. I loathe it when my (rare) desire to dwell in melancholy is overpowered by my choleric temperament to solve problems, disengage and move on. I may not show it, but I hate being unemotional. I hate it, really. It was never like that before when I was younger – what’s happening to me? I have become intolerant to affection and indifferent to sentiment. I must never become irrelevant to the people I love and disinterested in the world that I live in.
3. I experienced a paradigm shift on Monday. I repented before God for being transactional in the way that I related to Him, my mentors and mentorees. It is my deep desire that my relationships with people evolve into transformational journeys, and not just transactional events. I got so annoyed at myself for getting ahead of myself. I must learn to differentiate between form and substance. I must not allow intentionality descend into the abyss of transactions. There’s so much more – I don’t want to settle for anything lesser (with presumptuousness)!
4. This week, I finally caught a glimpse of why Peter Chao and Edmund Chan prizes mentoring relationships above ministry leadership. After spending the evening with DYLM, I understood it; while leading R-AGE to the next level is what I will always aspire to do, being a friend and mentor to my beloved shepherds and mentorees is what I shall desire to be for all my days. And I believe the turning point was this week – when investing into their lives becomes the topmost ministry priority for me; let’s see how God helps me to translate that into action.
5. I’ve completely messed up what “intentional” means. And I’ve shortchanged myself with my mentors and shortchanged my mentorees when they’re with me. Oh Lord, help me to undo what I’ve foolishly done! Humble and help me to learn from this. Intentional is when I take a step back to allow God to use me to minister to people. Intentional is when I seize opportunities. I know I’m speaking in code and only I will decrypt it. Ironically, agenda is the enemy of intentionality. Yes, I have identified my “Peter, James and John”; the journey with them begins now…
6. I could have a hundred mentors and a thousand mentorees, but nobody could ever take the place of each one of them in my heart. It’s not about calendar or content… No one could replace no one. One of the worst feelings in mentoring (or life in general), even though it’s theoretically unhealthy, is the feeling of abandonment. I understand how you felt now because I felt it myself… Now it’s up to me to take the next step towards reconciliation – I know it is about to unfold. Oh God, give me wisdom to repair relationships. People aren’t statistics and mentors aren’t vending machines; I am humbled.
7. I intentionally (URGH – the use of that word fills me with disgust!) rescheduled all my appointments next week because I’m in desperate need of an extended break. Regardless of how invincible I’ve always perceived myself to be, still I couldn’t shake off the emptiness that accompanied the disengagement from an intensive two-month discipleship programme. I gave so much away my tank is almost empty. It happened last year and again it happened this year. I am a fool to think I could have overcome it. (Now I understand why I was compelled to read Wayne Cordeiro’s “Leading On Empty”.) It’s time to recharge.
8. Leading a youth ministry from 80 to 120 people within a year makes any youth pastor swell with pride… But nothing – and I mean it, nothing! – is more satisfying and encouraging than watching my successors take the lead to bless me… This afternoon, they instructed me to sit back, relax and do absolutely nothing tonight – and I did just that. I cannot thank God enough for their deed and gesture. Keith and Yixian, you both are God’s precious gifts to me and I will remember that I am leading a group of youths who love me deeply and want me just as I am. You have honoured me tonight – thank you.
9. I thank God for the parental green light to (at last!) take our relationship to the next level in 2012. I may not have the emotional capacity to respond but cognitively, it’s one of the greatest news I’ve received in a while. What a privilege – thank you for daring to entrust your daughter to me; she is most special because one has ever made me want to love her more than I love myself. You have no idea how much we are looking forward to our union. God has answered our year-long prayer; He is faithful indeed!
10. I really hope to commence, complete and continue my theological education at Fuller Seminary and I am truly convinced that it will come to pass one day…
ten dominant thoughts to sleep on.
1. REAL 2011 is likely to be my final batch; I must treasure my remaining time with them and be thankful instead of being frustrated or disappointed.
2. I look forward to heading the youth conference this year-end with a team of youth leaders. Things will change – I guarantee revolution, no less.
3. I will never stop believing in young people; if you don’t – that’s your problem – don’t make it mine; I see potential differently from the way you do.
4. While youth ministers must get comfortable with going the extra mile and not receiving any appreciation for it, it doesn’t mean they should get used to it.
5. Which is worse – realising that you are not putting in your best or realising that your best is simply not good enough? Shortchange or sub-standards?
6. So, I am mildly stressed – with the coming mission trip, a potentially life-changing meal and my first evangelistic sermon this Saturday. Lord, how?
7. I’m dichotomous when it comes to friendship – fiercely loyal to those whom I love and have scant regard to those whom I’ve lost respect for.
8. I joined full-time ministry to do pastoral work, not administration; God, I need mercy and patience for incompetency, inadequacy and incompatibility.
9. The antithesis of my life – apathy, superficiality and doubting young people – I don’t want to be associated with these traits or people who possess it.
10. Good is the enemy of great; don’t ever settle, get complacent or think that you’ve arrived – pride goes before a fall. Always a good reminder for all.
no one would say it any better; Jesus > MOE.
I know I’ve lost the momentum to write again – I blame the weekend – but in my daily (my youth leaders call it stalking, but I call it) web-trawling, I read an article written by one of my favourite youths (Okay, I have a lot of favourites. HAHA). I’ve seen this fine young lady mature from a loud and energetic 14-year-old girl to well, a loud and energetic 20-year-old young adult, except that she’s got tons more wisdom between her shoulders now. (:
Her short testimony demonstrates the wisdom that she has gained over the years and proves the power of hindsight at the present – and how it provides insight of the past – and eventually foresight into the future. Today, only two out of the eight post-‘O’ level students in REAL 2011 were posted into their first choice. A part of me is clueless in dispensing advice, except in encouraging them to remain hopeful and trust in God; it has been more than a decade since I received my posting results, so it takes someone who’s current to the education system to encourage these students with conviction and credibility.
I’ve always stated that Jesus > Grades in my sermons or on Facebook; I mean seriously, did you really think that a B or C could stop God’s will from unfolding in your life? Tonight, I’ll reiterate this point – Jesus > Posting; getting into your 2nd or 9th choice isn’t the end of God’s will for you – in fact, it’s PART of God’s will. Why am I so confident? I say this with such conviction because I know you’ll unravel the answers for yourself a couple of years later. The real question to ask is: can/do you trust Him? I can because Jesus > MOE and Jesus > Education.
(For those who are keen, you can read Yixian’s excellent sharing here: I thank God for bad results.)
Remember, young people, God’s faithfulness is best experienced at the END of a journey, never at the beginning; and you just got started! Chins up – you’re walking on good ground! (:
joey asher | misunderstoodsunshinekid 