Category Archives: Picture Perfect
A picture unveils a thousand words and a photograph reveals emotion; life is digitalised by a kaleidoscope of pixels.
I. the elements of a memorable proposal.
The most memorable proposal is the one that you and your spouse-to-be star in. No amount of eloquence or vocabulary can describe the elation, exuberance and ecstasy that a newly engaged couple experiences. Nothing is better than that unbeatable feeling of knowing that you’ve taken a significant step to spend the rest of your lives together.
I’ve spent days writing this – capturing every event in my remaining memory in writing. And while it has been a tedious process because of my meticulousness, I have thoroughly enjoyed reliving every moment. This writing exercise has, without a doubt, made me appreciate my relationship with Huiyi and anticipate our future together even more.
Speaking of matrimony, I’m about to turn 28 years old and have lost count of the number of times I’ve been involved in and invited to weddings. More than half of my closest buddies are already married and I’ve had countless privileges of being the best man, groomsman, emcee, worship leader and wedding singer. It has been, and still is a wonderful thing to share in one of life’s most significant memories.
The small problem with being a part of so many weddings is that when it’s time for me to propose, part of my personality make-up would inevitably want to make my proposal a tad bit more distinct than any other that I’ve had a hand in… (Again, I reiterate that your own proposal is the most special, simply because you are the protagonist.)
Now, I’ve only had two guidelines when I planned how I would ask Huiyi to marry me:
- She’s a private person who desires simplicity – so I told myself to keep the idea simple, and the event private.
- She’s always fantasised about being proposed to over a sunset or sunrise at a beach, decked in a nice dress – a straightforward wish that I would gladly fulfill, since she doesn’t usually have many requests.
Before I describe the actual proposal, I will recount the events that led up to it, including the numerous ideas I also considered and would have executed. And somehow, all these ideas actually contributed to the eventual idea.
Next chapter: the crucial milestone – her family must know.
prologue to the proposal story.
In the previous post, I appealed to you to help Huiyi and I win a photo contest organised by Perfect Weddings – a nifty local website designed to reach couples who are about to tie the knot. Huiyi and I thought it might be fun to embark on a project together so we signed up for a photo contest where we submitted a photograph freshly taken (by Gideon) immediately after the proposal. Like many FaceBook contests, the photo with the highest number of Likes will win the top prize. But I must say, it has been overwhelmingly encouraging to experience the unexpected amount of support Huiyi and I have received… (Do continue to spread the word for us, yeah?) (:
Well, Huiyi and I are about to participate in another competition also organised by Perfect Weddings, and this is one with epic proportions. In a nutshell, we are required to share our proposal story by using the Perfect Weddings website creator platform. And besides being enticed by the generous prize, I decided to try my hand at it simply because I wanted to relive and recapture the entire process of how I asked Huiyi to be my fiancée. After all, I did promise on this post that I would do write a detailed entry in time to come. And the time has come.
So I’ve been doing that for the last few nights, writing in as much detail as I can about almost everything that concerns the proposal… And I’ve thoroughly enjoying the walk down memory lane. So this is what I will do since it is an understatement to declare this project as a massively long article. Instead of posting the entire story in one gargantuan entry, I shall space it out over the next couple of weeks, and publish the epic proposal bit by bit, chapter by chapter. Well, since I went over-the-top in proposing to Huiyi, I shall do likewise in recapitulating as many moments as I can recall in writing.
I am relieved however, that unlike the photo contest which essentially is a popularity contest, (I hope) the eventual winner of this proposal contest would be determined by the quality of its content. And so, I shall take a short hiatus from posting fragments of my thought life and publish snippets of one of the sweetest memory of my life so far instead. This blog will conveniently mirror the pre-wedding website (which we have aptly titled ILYTTE) throughout the duration of this series, so you don’t even need to go to another webpage, unless of course you wish to.
Honestly, Huiyi and I have been tremendously blessed to enjoy the virtual support of family, friends and the R-AGE youths, as well as anonymous individuals from the world-wide web. Thank you, really, from the bottom of our hearts…
If there’s anything at all that we want you to remember from the upcoming series, it is how God’s grace has been so generously lavished upon two ordinary individuals who desire to love each other a little bit more every new morning, and who would say, “I love you ’til the end”, for as long as the Lord keeps them together on this planet. Love is indeed everyday.
I genuinely hope you will enjoy the journey that I’m about to take you on… (:
P/S: And if you’d like to, I’d like to (shamelessly) invite you to subscribe to my blog via email, so that you will receive every post in your inbox as soon as I publish it. Simply fill in your email address at the sidebar…
Next chapter: the elements of a memorable proposal.
social media is altogether separate, and 72 photos.
Micro-blogging has finally caught up with me. Or more like, I’ve finally caught up with micro-blogging. The combination of Tumblr and Instagram means that this blog has officially become a place for longer thoughts, deeper reflections and elaborated writing.
In this day and age where everything seems to be fast-paced and instant, you no longer find the news but news finds you. Social media is revolutionising the way we communicate faster than we think it is (and can react to it). It’s only after I’ve activated my Tumblr that I realised how it innately encourages you to update.
Micro-blogging is rampant because it allows you to re-blog, re-tweet and share what others have re-blogged, re-tweetted and shared. It feels as if fresh and original thoughts are sprouting all the time but the fact is that everything is just recycled and repackaged. There is nothing new under the sun indeed.
And just when I thought WhatsApp had replaced SMS, Twitter came along and replaced instant messaging altogether. And just when I had gotten used to the convenience of posting photos to Twitter and FaceBook, Instagram came along to instantly take the place of photo-blogging.
This affects the way we communicate to each other too and it’s happening at an alarming rate. I’m not a fan of how more and more (young) people say that they articulate their thoughts better over email and actually resort to it, but frankly, what can I do about it? Nothing. You and I have to learn to take it in our stride.
This is becoming the generation of virtual relationships and honestly, we must fight it, but it’d be a grave error to reject it. Young people, be aware of its alienating ramifications and learn to have real vis-à-vis relationships. And parents, you’re the only ones losing out if you choose to remain a stubborn laggard in not wanting to connect with this generation in the way that they know how to.
Online globalisation is pulling the world together but taking them apart at the same time. Isn’t it scary that we are becoming increasingly altogether separate? And isn’t it scarier that we are absolutely powerless to stop this from taking place? Sigh.
But since I’m at it, may I shamelessly invite you to:
- Check out my Tumblr
- Follow me on Twitter
- Add me on FaceBook
- And of course, subscribe to my blog via email
On a lighter note, while I attempt to keep this blog alive, allow me to indulge you with my gallery of Instagram photos. It helps to satisfy the photographer needs in me. After all, it was one of my final year majors in school. Enjoy 14 days of photo-blogging! (:
one day in the 40 days of community.
Post-script: My apologies to Ps Kieran Chew for publishing this entry only now… It was in my drafts since 3rd June, but the madness of June overwhelmed me, and this article got forgotten… Well, Ps Kieran, you’re right, “It’s no longer news”, but hey, it’s still newsworthy, at least on my blog it is. HAHA! Hope this works for you! (:
Credits to Matthew Tan for his good work in putting this video together.
About a two month[s] ago, the full-time staff at Grace AG embarked on its Home Improvement Project (HIP) as part of its internal 40 Days of Community (40DOC). This campaign is an initiative launched by (the Deputy Senior Pastor) Ps Calvin Lee, and is set to be launched church-wide in July-August in a strategic effort to bring the church together. It is adapted from Rick Warren’s programme (of the same title) that has been tried and tested with positive results, first in Saddleback Church, then in many other churches worldwide.
I’m not sure if I was alone in feeling this way, but honestly, I had to rummage my heart for enthusiasm for this project because it certainly didn’t come naturally from the onset. It was an acquired taste of sorts – the more you did it, the more you enjoyed it. I enjoyed Ps Cuixian’s leadership of my group as well as getting to know some of my colleagues (like Andrew Tai and Edmund Quek, who were great fun to be with) a little better.
My 40DOC began with the devotional series in the accompanying book, “Better Together”, which I hope most of you will purchase. If something could fire me up, it would definitely be the Word and its practicable outcomes. Coming together weekly to watch Rick Warren (who incidentally looks like a cross between a tour guide and a taxi driver – no offence – he has such a down-to-earth look about him!) on DVD was also refreshing – he has an uncanny ability to simplify biblical themes into instantly applicable aphorisms. Speakers (like Edmund Chan, Peter Chao and Benny Ho) with that ability always get my attention.
HIP was definitely the highlight of 40DOC. It required us to literally move out of our comfort zones, put our money where our mouths are and to get down and dirty with our hands and feet. (Clichés, I know, but definitely used in the right context.) I shall offer some honest observations of my day spent with over 10 other full-time staff; I don’t enjoy giving Sunday School answers anyway. Allow me to share these thoughts through 5 C’s.
Complaints
No matter how old you are, what species of gender you belong to, and regardless of whether you’re a church staff (even if you are a pastor), you will still have a tendency to complain. It’s a sickening and disgusting part of our wretched human nature and I caught myself at it. Of course, I tried to mask it under the cloak of humour but I could never hide it from my inner man if I was frank with myself. I was rather put off by some the apparently “harmless” and “honest” negative remarks that floated around the room. Sometimes, it is good not to say anything if you indeed have nothing good to say.
This alone I think, humbles the greatest of saints – even if they were ordained by a board of holy people! Our fallen state truly requires the infallible grace of God. Help us shine for You, Lord, simply by not complaining!
Contribution
From the way I see it, there are three ways a person could contribute in HIP – either by offering your time, energy or resources. I took a backseat (as there were enough leaders) for this project and I knew I had to leave a couple of hours earlier than the rest, so I wanted to make up for it by chipping in with a little more money. I gave an amount as the Lord put upon my heart to – this was my act of obedience. However, to my surprise, I received (almost) the entire sum back as we did not need to spend as much as we had budgeted for the house. So I decided to channel that sum into the weekend’s offering bags.
The bottom-line of what I want to say is that, due the complexity of planning and the complicated layers of coordination, this HIP might just be the first and last one for you and I; and if that’s the case, what’s there to lose by going all out?
Conditioning
If anyone told you that painting a house was easy – tell him to go paint another one. I regretted not taking before-and-after photographs of the house we helped to transform. Before we could give it a face-lift, we had to give it a face-off. Peeling and scraping the ancient paint off both the walls and the ceiling were a mammoth task in itself. Try arching your neck upwards for an entire morning in an unventilated and weird-smelling room and having every fifth of ten scrapes feel like a fork scratching a blackboard… Can you feel and imagine the icky sensation in your mind’s eye? And speaking of eye, you also had to battle with fragments of dried paint and cement flakes with each blink.
I felt like I burnt more calories than a regular workout and received a good toning on especially my arms, but it was the conditioning of my heart and mind that I truly appreciated from this experience.
Currency
If ever there was a cry that screams from within my heart as a shepherd of people (i.e. a pastor), it would be how I want to aggressively avoid being irrelevant to society. (No disrespect to anyone here, but) I felt sad to have heard some conversations that transpired in the one-room flat, between some of my colleagues and the home-owner we were helping. It was dismal to see how they were unable to converse on the same frequency because one has obviously lost touch with the harsher dimensions of society. Forgive me, for I know this is a quick, harsh and judgmental assessment (and I apologise for it if it stumbles you) but a part of me fiercely rejects an innate incapability to relate with the felt needs of the man-on-the-street. It would almost be ironic for a pastor to arrive at that state.
In the same breath, I will say that this applies to anyone who calls himself a Christian. How relevant are you to society? Are you so far-removed that you can no longer relate to those less-fortunate? HIP is a good way to get reconnected.
Collaboration
The saying goes, “Tough times make tough men” and as a staff team, we have not and do not go through anything tough as a collective; this HIP was enforced (as a professional obligation) and emblematic at best (we had to lead by example before we could encourage our sheep to do it), hence it already prepared and toughened us up psychologically before execution. Nonetheless, the beautiful thing about going through something uncomfortable, unconventional and uncommon like that was that it forced us to forge teamwork. And I reckon this category of teamwork (honed through hardship) is a little more cohesive than organising a church event or attending a staff retreat together.
I am confident that embarking on HIP together, be it as a cell group or a real family unit, will only serve to strengthen the existing bonds that are holding the body of believers together. This may just take your cell and your family to the next level.
***
It is quite unlike me to blog about something that I do not believe in, or write something here out of professional obligations. And so, I shall not. But hey, I have already written nearly 1,500 words on this upcoming 40DOC – perhaps this is a telling indication of my optimism towards this campaign.
I believe in it not because of its proven track record, programme or content – that’s just hype. No, I believe in it because I serve a big God who desires to unite His church. Like I mentioned it over the pulpit two weeks ago, I firmly believe that 40DOC isn’t just going to be another campaign, but THE defining campaign for Grace AG.
I bought home three things from HIP – a photo frame, a certificate and a recap sheet – but I took home so much more, if you know what I mean. I urge you to allow 40DOC to become a part of you. After all, what do you have to lose?
meeting the folks who made the youths.
(Post-script: I had actually written an entry twice as long as this one but WordPress killed it when I tried to save it. So I shall not attempt to regurgitate the original content, but share what I think is most necessary to be read.)
60 minutes. 48 slides. 40 parents. 14 Shepherds. 1 heck of a session. (:
About a month ago, I tweeted this:
Just had an amazing lunch session with another youth pastor and I think I may have found the solution to unite the church as a family! Wooh!
Today, I think the youth ministry took one step closer to realising that vision. And it has everything to do with putting young people together with fathers and mothers.
If you were at R-AGE @ GII’s from 5pm-7pm today, you would have seen me beaming to no end. No, I was not delighted because the team or I have done a good job (though I believe we have!); I was not happy because of the turn-out or the parents’ unexpected responses; instead, I rejoiced because of two things:
- I remained obedient to the vision that God put in my heart about a year ago to network with the parents of my young people, and successfully brought it to pass in the ministry today.
- The session today affirmed my appreciation of the “Family” element in the Grace AG “DNA” and I tapped on it to potentially bring the youth ministry (and maybe the entire church) to the next level.
Not many people know this, but if there was a group of people who I am most reluctant to be with, it would have to be fathers, and to a lesser extent, mothers. Perhaps it is because I do not normally interact with them; or because I did not grow up with a fatherly figure; or because there is a generational gap caused by age; or because I think they secretly scrutinise and criticise the youth ministry; or because I think they have no interest in what I have to say to them; or simply because I do not have much to offer them with my limited life experiences.
However, much to my pleasant surprise, they were not just a receptive group of adults but also an uplifting bunch. I invited them to give us feedback and here are some of their suggestions (and affirmation):
Good session – cleared some doubts. Organise some teens-parents bonding session?
Encourage leaders to communicate with parents if they should notice inconsistent behaviour.
Keep parents posted on the cell material so that the topics could be discussed in the family.
We would avail ourselves as a couple to listen to and help the youths and even their parents.
Host a cell group [at my house] – need not be a cell my child is in.
You guys have done a great job in nurturing the kids in their teenage years especially in their spiritual growth and character building. Keep it up!
And this takes the cake – it made me beam as brightly as a thousand suns:
I am so proud to be a parent of R-AGErs who have grown and matured through this amazing ministry. Keep up the good work! Phil 1:6
Off the top of my head, here are the 10 things I would like to thank God for:
- I expected a turn-out of 20 but nearly 40 parents showed up today.
- I expected a bored, restless and uninterested group but I saw genuine enthusiasm as they participated in the ice-breaking activity and patiently sat through the hour-long ministry update.
- I wished I got a dollar every time I saw a parent nod his or her head with me in agreement.
- I took the risk to give Keith and Yixian the opportunity to (re)present the cell and service elements respectively and they have exceeded everyone’s expectations of them – I am so proud of my beloved proteges!
- I thought Melody and Bradley did a superb job at organising this event with limited time and resources.
- I saw a beautiful scene of “Family” at the ground floor after the session – teenagers, youth leaders and parents freely mingling and chatting with each other over dinner. That’s precisely what a family church is all about!
- I was surprised to see how genuinely keen these parents were to be a part of what R-AGE did, does and will do.
- I could almost see it in their eyes that this session was like an answered prayer for them.
- I expected a tricky Question-and-Answer session but I ended up receiving generous words of encouragement from two fathers. I also received an insight into the real fears, struggles and concerns of parents with teenage children.
- It was beyond my wildest imagination to see at least 35 parents responding to my pseudo “altar call” of committing to being a secret prayer warrior for the youth ministry and its young people.
I shall not go into the details of what transpired today because I do not want to let the cat out of the bag… (: But if you are really keen to find out what happened, here’s all you need to know, whether you are a parent or a teenager:
- We now have one parent committed to interceding for one R-AGE @ GII GGL (who’s not related to them) for six months.
- We made history today by organising the inaugural Meet-The-Folks session; as far as I can remember in my 14 years in Grace AG, and confirmed by parents who have been in Grace AG for more than two decades, this was definitely the first time something like this has happened. And we were all most grateful for it.
- We are all looking forward to the next Meet-The-Folks session, perhaps at the end of the year.
- We have a bunch of parents who sincerely desire to make a greater contribution in their teenagers’ life and ministry.
- We are on the threshold of a new culture being established in Grace AG – championed by its young people.
baring my soul after baring my sole.
For our integrated marketing communications assignment, my schoolmates and I examined how TOMS Shoes employed cause marketing as their main vehicle of publicity, and how this eventually led to sales.
There was no better way than to actually practise what the company preaches as one of their key annual activities – to go one day without shoes. At least, that’s what it challenges all its existing and potential consumers. TOMS’ business strategy is simple – you buy a pair of shoes from them and they will give another away to an underprivileged child in a third-world country. A remarkable and novel idea, really.
In our detailed analysis of this tactic, we’ve discovered that there are brilliant brains behind TOMS, from its founder Blake Mycoskie, to its sales staff, and to its interns (better known as Agents of Change – ostentatious but unique no doubt). And we’ve observed that they’ve left no stone unturned – everything that can be used has been used and their marketing strategy is one of the best we’ve seen of any footwear company, by far. It’s almost fool-proof and fail-proof; it’s so comprehensive that we’ve struggled to make recommendations to improve it. We take our hats off to TOMS Shoes.
That was until two of us (Melodie Lee and I) actually decided to go barefoot in Singapore for a day. And so it was, our very own one day without shoes. It was then we discovered the few weaknesses of such a tactic. I will share bits of it as I record my thoughts of this radical experience.
Attempting an against-the-norm feat is always easier when you do it with someone else. Melodie and I felt somewhat comforted and empowered by each other’s participation; knowing that we weren’t going to do this alone provided an impetus for the actual deed. I left home excitedly and I was curious to see the different reactions I’d receive from strangers and bystanders alike.
Coincidentally, I left home with my sister and met my mother en-route to the bus terminal; both thought that I was crazy and had my safety at the forefront of their minds. And as expected, my sister wasn’t too keen on walking beside me simply because it was weird. “So paiseh”, she stated. Funnily enough, that actually affirmed my decision more than deterred it.
I tried to behave as normally as I could. Of course I would avoid tough, dirty or wet terrain but I did not walk awkwardly or in embarrassment. I like doing radical things once in a while anyway, as my youths and peers would know, so standing out from the crowd wasn’t something that was all together foreign to me.
I arrived at our meeting point in Forum, drank a small serving of Caramel Latte from Coffeebean and discussed how we were going to capture people’s responses on film. And on my own, I intentionally recorded as many of these steps as I could through Twitter. After all, it was through social media that this campaign spread like a virus. As expected, I received a flurry of responses almost immediately on both Facebook and Twitter, from both friends and acquaintances. And just as I had expected, the attention waned as dramatically as it had built up as the day progressed, despite my regular pictorial updates.
Hence it leaves me to conclude that a wholesale dependence on social media has its own limitations. Perhaps it’s because I’m not a celebrity with an enormous reputation, but isn’t viral marketing all about the word-of-mouth from the man on the ground? It’s short-lived at best; my network’s interest in my adventure sustained for a couple of hours and my own interest was roused for a day at most. My mini-campaign was as current and newsworthy as the next 160-character tweet by a teenager about where he was or what she was doing. How effective could this method be for the long-run then?
I hereby propose that social media is only good for initial awareness but not prolonged interest.
One talking point in my day without shoes was when I nearly lost my right big toe. I am so used to everyday-walking that it slipped my mind the importance of literally watching my next step. It was a near-death experience (haha pardon the drama-mama) and my odynophobia caused me to visualise a severed foot. I still cringe at the thought of that near-mishap and I understood why Crocs encountered a safety issue with their footwear – people are negligent because they take things for granted and when they think they can depend on what they are used to (can’t help but to think of Psalm 119:105).
There are only two retailers in Singapore that sell TOMS Shoes and we had to visit one of course. It was a disappointing experience to say the least. We all thought that this could be one of the greatest flaw in this otherwise great company. A retail shop is quite possibly the most appropriate touch point for a fashion product (to see and touch the actual shoe and try it for sizing) and interacting with the sales staff left a horrible taste in our mouths; they were apathetic, ignorant, uninvolved, not helpful and unnecessarily rude.
While this reflects more badly on the reputation of the shop, it indirectly impacts a consumer’s attitude towards TOMS; you cannot help but think that TOMS did not conduct a meticulous screening of their franchisees or provide them with sufficient product training. Their unacceptable service became a fundamental failure in representing the goodwill that TOMS have existed to create all this while. After all, we’ve observed that intimate interaction with consumers is one of the keys to their outstanding business model.
We started our barefoot adventure at 3pm but by 6pm the novelty of this activity had already worn thin on us. We were no longer amused by people’s stares or consciously thought about what we were doing. I asked Melodie, “Are you even thinking about the children in Africa without shoes to wear?” Our answers to that question was synonymously negative. Perhaps we were inadequately prepared for this activity, throwing ourselves in without much fanfare (like posters or tee shirts) or perhaps we didn’t do it with an entourage. But honestly, the thought of doing this for the less-fortunate and under-privileged probably crossed our minds only once, and for a fleeting moment.
While those kids suffered from inevitable abrasions, we sampled invited attention; while those kids struggled to go to school, we savoured what it felt like to do something cool; while those kids survived on a single pair of shoes for years, we stepped into shops that sold enough shoes to last a village for years. How effective then, is this campaign to actually help those kids?
I began to question the integrity of this apparently fantastic movement and I couldn’t help but to conclude that cause marketing should only be employed for the short-term and not to be exploited for the long-term.
I’ve written these thoughts on my way to school and during lecture itself. Honestly, while going without shoes was fun while it lasted, I cannot be bothered anymore about how this makes me feel or what message it sends out because the only entity that benefits from this seemingly out-of-this-world initiative is the company itself. Based on my experience today, I scribbled down five recommendations that may make TOMS Shoes a tad bit more successful and perhaps, less suspect. We will propose them at our presentation next week.
As with many things in life that the world offers us as a tradeoff for satisfaction, it can feel good at the start but it is still hugely inadequate and empty eventually. “Vanity of vanities! All is vanity”, as King Solomon famously philosophised. The words of the Psalmist Asaph resonates in my head: “You’re all I want in heaven! You’re all I want on earth!” (Psalm 73:25, The Message Bible.)
Oh, the temporal happiness of earthly pursuits and the heavenly void that we all need God to help us fill!
anguish comes before revival.
Riveting.
We’ve had four weeks of Malachi and one J333 of anguish.
Up next, Always and Forever.
Lord, turn this revival service into a revival season for Your glory!
RIP, David Wilkerson. Your legacy is inspiring!
joey asher | misunderstoodsunshinekid 