Category Archives: Spontaneous Conversations
A conversation with people and a dialogue with God always energises my Sanguine and keeps me functional.
fast-forward 17 years.
Dinner tonight was an event 17 years in the making. Catching up with DL over a simple dinner was delightful and nostalgic to say the least. How does anyone actually get up to speed on nearly two decades of life? The last time we were close was when we were together in Primary 4 in Anglo-Chinese Junior School. These were the same two kids who, being equally short, partnered each other at the front of the class queue; the two 8-year-old kids who sneaked into Sentosa alone after school and accomplished it with cunning and enterprise beyond their age; and the same two kids who, from such vastly different family backgrounds, shared such pleasant childhood memories.
So, how do you catch up on all those years? Simple – by testifying God’s goodness over the years and by spurring each other on in ministry. You blend in common history to project a linked future. I think it’s no coincidence that these same two kids now share a passion for young people and worship; it is almost divinely appointed that these two boys now do their bit to introduce change, make a difference and leave a legacy in their church; it was affirming that these two boys, now men, subscribe to the same leadership concept and in them both resides a strong desire to impart to a younger generation.
Unlike other “old friends” whom I’ve caught up with over the years, I felt that with DL and I, there was no need to prove to each other how far we’ve come – there was no worldly comparison of one another’s achievements and experiences. I told myself, before the dinner, that if we were to spend the next couple of hours reminiscing old times, the friendship would remain in the nineties. I never expected to feel so comfortable with DL – I’d like to think that there was little or no pretense in our interaction; it was like finding a brother that I’ve always had, but lost contact with through the years. My testimony and spiritual journey was the antithesis of DL’s – a dramatic turnaround juxtaposed against traditional obedience; yet both end up 27 years later, serving the same God with similar fervour.
Instantly, I knew that this meet-up set the tone and manner for all future meet-ups with old friends, at least that is what I’d desire. There was an exchange of ministry, of knowledge, of experiences, of struggles and victories. It was more honest and candid than I had expected it to be. Our 2.5-hour dinner tonight made 17 years feel short. At the end of the day, I took home one thing – that God is indeed good and faithful and would use us for His glory wherever we are and have been. I rejoice with DL’s young marriage and the impending birth of the child in his wife’s belly this October.
I encourage you then, when you meet up with old friends in time to come, not to share about how good you’ve become or the great things you’ve accomplished, but to share with each other what God has done in your lives and how good He is indeed. And watch how God connects the people who love Him. You could never go wrong with that approach. I already look forward to the next time God brings DL and I together.
nice is never good enough.
Here’s what the Spirit inspired me to share with RL during our lunch today in the context of a boy-girl relationship (or I’d go as far as to say that this is applicable to any relationship):
“A selfish boyfriend cares for his own needs before his girlfriend’s. A good boyfriend puts the needs of his girlfriend before his own. A godly boyfriend desires God’s best for his girlfriend.”
I’ve advocated umpteen times to some of my close girl friends that “nice” is never good enough. *pssst* Girls, don’t soften your heart to a guy pursuing you with honeyed words, fanciful gifts or sweet acts of kindness because that’s exactly what he had planned to do to win your heart, isn’t it? Instead, test his christian character, question his spiritual maturity, examine his moral values and enquire about his journey with the Lord; these are more essential qualities that would set apart a godly man from a good worldly man.
In Ephesians 5, we read that wives are to “submit to [their] husbands… …in everything”. A few verses later, we read that husbands are to “love [their] wives… …to make [them] holy”. I’d like to think that wives are to submit to their husbands on the condition that husbands love their wives (although I do know admirable wives who submit to unloving husbands). While we are to aspire to demonstrate unconditional agape love, we should remember that there’s only One who is capable of showing such divine love. Nonetheless, the standard of a husband’s love towards his wife is set extremely high – as Christ loves the Church. Now Christ loved the Church to the extent of redeeming her with His own blood – that has to be the extent of love that husbands ought to demonstrate towards their wives, no?
While I may not yet be married, I think I might just be able to understand this concept. You see, I’ve had my fair share of (bad) relationship history and conduct which I am never proud of. However, with HY, I find myself drawing strength to love her not by my own efforts but by God’s grace. In fact, the only thing I tell myself is to love God more than yesterday – this is the source of my love for HY. It is due to this love that I have for God that causes me to embrace her flaws and forgive her mistakes as well as to change myself for the better and humble myself to serve her. I do not believe that I will be able to continue to accomplish this on my own merits. And because HY knows that I love her deeply, she trusts me; from this trust births the foundation of her natural submission towards me (or alternatively phrased, towards my love for her). There’s no rocket science in this Biblical model; hence I say I can comprehend what the Apostle Paul was talking about.
So in a nutshell, if I may audaciously conclude, girls should be on the lookout for boys who love God. And boys (as leaders of relationships) should just focus on loving God more everyday. I always believe that instead of searching for the right person, you ought to be the right person (and the right people will start to search for you).
youth camp update #1 – mark the dates.
One of the items I’ve been praying about throughout the course of my week-long MC was the theme and direction for the G2 Youth Camp this coming June. Last night, at 2am, the Spirit began transmission. And I was tired – my body said, “Sleep”. But my eyes refused to shut; the Spirit downloaded one idea after another into my still very alert and awake mind. I couldn’t risk forgetting the vast amount of information, so I climbed down from my loft bed, took out my notebook and started scribbling. This is the result of the cognitive diarrhoea:
Duh, of course it's blurred - this scribbling is classified top secret!
It was nearly 3am when I was nearly done with it and I slept soundly after that. My alarm was set to ring at 7:30am but at 7:25am I was already out of bed, raring to go. I didn’t know how and where I found that vigour. On the way to work, I couldn’t wait to transfer the scrawl into a working document and to share it with RY (who approved it immediately!) and my G2 Shepherds in the evening. I texted HY to share my excitement, of course.
HY: “Honestly I don’t know how you do it, sleeping so late, waking up so early, but still so full of energy! Haha. Amazing!”
I replied: This is obviously not my flesh. I guess this is what you call… Being joyful in the Lord for that gives you strength? So do find your source of strength in God.
HY: “I learnt this from Benny Ho… You’re a true example of a man who is very, very busy, whose heart and inner soul is well rested in God.”
To a certain extent, I gained a better understanding in this application of Nehemiah 8:10b. When you find that deep, inner joy in the Lord, it strengthens you from within in a way sleep or food doesn’t. I was filled with a wave of gratitude for the successful operation and subsequent trouble-free recovery – that gave me joy too. Finishing the chicken scratch on my notebook filled me with joy too. I felt like a renewed man today!
Anyway, this year’s G2 Youth Camp will blow your mind. That’s a promise. In my mind’s eye, I see my G2 Shepherds nodding their heads away in agreement. Why the confidence? Because the Spirit inspired. So mark the dates, young ones. 15 Jun, Tue – 17 Jun, Thu. Three full days and three full nights of intense insanity. Trust me, you do not want to miss this camp.
The theme verse and camp theme will be released in the coming days. Watch this space!
the delightful faithfulness of God.
I’ve had a long day and I’m exhausted but I write because I want to give God glory.
Today, on my way to work, in my morning chat with God, I told Him that it’d be really helpful if I had a vehicle as there is a lot to be done, a lot of people to meet and a lot of traveling to do during the December peak period.
After staff devotion, I returned CC’s missed call. He asked if I could do him a favour by picking up his Kangoo from the workshop tomorrow. He is my best friend and it wasn’t a tough request anyway so I gladly agreed to help.
“Eh actually why don’t you hold on to the car? I’m heading to Europe for two weeks. I leave tomorrow.”
I shared this with CC when he came over to my place tonight to borrow some winter wear. Even he, ever the agnostic, thought this random answered prayer was cool. I feel really blessed to have a friend that is CC.
HY always knew that I have considered buying a Kangoo in future (but probably won’t because she holds an auto license). So when I told her about CC’s offer, she shared my joy and she also reminded me of God’s sense of humour.
“And you’ve always wanted to own a Kangoo.”
How can I keep from singing Your praise? I could never do enough and I marvel at Your amazing love. When You choose to bless, You delights in doing so and exceed all expectations when I least expect it. You have met my needs. All glory to Your name.
shanghai part 3 – lost in transition.
After I waved goodbye to my new-found friend, I knew something was definitely amiss when I found myself still at the baggage collection belt – 10 minutes after he left. Yes, the inevitable happened; the 27kg box arrived but the 13kg box did not. I was tired, frustrated and worried (that the fish meat might spoil) but I was also amused at the ironic unfolding of events.
The driver came to receive me and sent me back to my uncle’s house after we dropped off the fish meat at the factory. It was good to see my relatives again, in Shanghai, where I spent nearly two years. I was kept abreast of the company’s situation and I was really glad that I pulled out early. I called up SQ, finally got through after being put on hold for 15 minutes, and tracked down that missing box, which was on its way to Shanghai onboard the 10am flight. I didn’t push for it but I was a little disappointed that SQ offered neither apology nor compensation – after all, I did have to pay excess baggage for it. Poor public relations, I think.
On the way back from the airport, I got a little nervous about going to WK’s place to surprise KP because I didn’t know what my opening line would be. WK told me that KP enjoyed Mee Jiang Kueh so I brought some over for her. So when I walked over to WK’s apartment, I really felt like I was in a cinematic moment, pulling off a surprise that you’d only see on TV screens. My favourite couple in Shanghai were having breakfast when I sprang the surprise.
JA: *knock, knock, knock* [heard muttering of “So early, who’s that?” in the background]
WK: [opened the door] Oh, Kay, it’s the postman, your package. [closed the door]
KP: For me? Really? *flip flop, flip flop* [opened the door]
JA: Hello, mee jiang kueh for you?
KP: [stared] [registered face] [screamed] [opened the door wider] [covered mouth] [screamed again]
JA: [walked in, saw WK laughing in the background]
(This is the really funny part…)
KP: [still responding] [composed herself] [RETURNED TO SEAT] [RESUMED BREAKFAST]
JA: [still standing at the door] Erm, welcome to Shanghai?
KP & WK: [broke into laughter] [rose from their seats] [realised they haven’t welcomed me] [exchanged hugs]
It was an amazing feeling to see my buddy and neighbour back in Shanghai again. It truly was. I was delighted to embrace them and to just be in their presence. We had a good breakfast together and I regaled to them my divine appointment. Then I knocked out on WK’s sofa for a good 45 minutes before I woke up to join my uncle and aunty for lunch. So far, so good.
shanghai tan part 2 – sleepless on sq.
It’s quite amazing that the last person to get onto the plane was actually given a window seat. No complains whatsoever, of course.
Well, after settling down from that pre-flight adventure, I caught my breath and got started on planning for next year. I can’t divulge information here so let’s just leave it at that. I decided to stop at 3am and to reward myself after such a dramatic evening, I clicked “Start New Game” on my newly purchased and installed Football Manager 2010. I know I’d regret embarking on this addiction but it’s the only game I play; I’ve built up quite a collection of original Football Managers since 2005.
It’s funny how guys connect via (fantasy) football; at 3:30am, after a glass of riesling and after putting unwanted players on transfer lists and putting in bids for desired players, the passenger sitting beside me decided to break the ice with me. I actually had the feeling that he would because of the occasional glances at my laptop.
“The new Football Manager, ah?”
I think it went something like that. Well, I shall not reveal his name or initials (because he might read this and I don’t want to embarrass him) but I’d like to think that it was a pretty divine appointment. He was my age and he also plays football and has a team. Like me, his girlfriend was from NTU and was doing her GIP in Shanghai. I think those common denominators were adequate for a good, long conversation.
The conversation naturally included what each of us do for a living. He’s a banker who used to serve as a youth leader in his church. He said he backslided a little and one reason why he’s heading to Shanghai is that his girlfriend, whose faith is a little stronger, wanted to help get him back on track in his walk with God. He also mentioned that he was getting a little tired of his job.
Well, I went on to share with him a glimpse of my journey towards full-time ministry and how important it was for me to pursue what was in my heart. I’m not sure if I’ve stated it on this blog before, but there is nothing more satisfying than waking up and going to bed every day and night knowing that you are in the centre of God’s will for your life. I feel like that at this point in my life.
Anyway, after hearing my sharing and after sharing his heart out to me about failed relationships, a collapsed ministry and a career standstill, he was also convinced that it was a timely and divine appointment (as he got onto this flight due to a last minute change). He told me that our conversation ignited a desire in him not only to get back on track with God, but to get his youth ministry restarted. How could I not beam with joy and praise God for His grace and goodness in blessing a 3-hour friendship?
We talked until the plane touched down in Shanghai and until the sun rose at 630am. I bade farewell to him at the baggage collection belt but I believe that we will keep in touch. On a side note, I’m pretty sure I will be able to share with him some of my youth ministry experiences as well as to get his church team to play against TeamR-AGE. I was extremely exhausted by the time I cleared customs but this encounter was worth losing sleep for. God used a random person like me in a random situation to draw His child back to Himself.
the youth ministry you dream about.
During the prayer time before youth service, God directed me to 2 Chronicles 7:14-15 and downloaded an entire sermon into my head. But its contents are gonna be really tough to deliver so I think it’ll remain brewing in my head before it gets served.
VY and I had a good conversation over lunch today. I think having similar mentalities and visions towards ministry do help people to bond quickly. I enjoyed hearing him share and I also enjoyed sharing with him. I do hope there’s more to come from this fusion of hearts.
I crashed YX’s cell today (much to her reluctance and her sad face x 10) and I’d like to think it turned out better than I thought. I also joined the entire cell for dinner at Lot 1 and hung out at the top floor of the compound after we ate. It was there that I asked them to dream about the kind of youth ministry that they wanted to see. Here’s how a group of 14-18-year-olds responded:
“More growth.”
“More enthusiastic.”
“Everyone is discipled.”
“Hang out more, bond more.”
“Every youth knowing one another like one big family.”
Well, these are all great things to have. And I believe that if we all play our part, these dreams would become reality. The above-mentioned does resonate with what’s in my heart. I believe that for R-AGE to head to another level, we need to come to realise that this is OUR ministry and that we have to take ownership of it.
One thing that I really enjoyed about the SOAR youths was that they knew that they would exit the ministry (and Shanghai) once they turn 18 (and leave the country for college). And so a good number of them endeavour to leave behind a legacy. They knew that they were the ones who had to make it work. They knew that if they didn’t own the ministry, no one else would. I pray that this attitude would also be birthed R-AGE. I know a number of youths who already feel that way and I believe that I am strategically positioned to enable and empower more young people to catch this vision. Imagine its life-changing, Bukit Batok-shaking, ministry-revolutionising consequences!
I believe with all my heart that there is nothing more satisfying than witnessing youths leading youths. And what a great privilege it would be for me to help play a part in making vision that come true. I believe that R-AGE is on the threshold of a new dawn. Let’s put our hands into the plough. Everyone has a part to play. The youth ministry in G2 is about to explode. I believe that by faith and I believe that with all my heart. May that be in line with God’s will.
joey asher | misunderstoodsunshinekid 