I love my church… part 1.
Probably our favourite photograph together, taken at the inaugural Rhema in 2006.
I have arrived at the 18th month of my journey with Grace AG and it has been an eye-opening experience. A perfect church doesn’t exist and Grace AG is no different; there are cracks and weaknesses in my church, just like there are in yours. (I’m throwing the “This-is-not-your-church-this-is-His-church” cliche out of the window – I’m not here to quibble over semantics.) But not everyone, be it a salaried minister or a serving member, will dare to make this statement:
“I love my church.”
And I’ve been privileged enough to meet men and women whom I’m confident will dare to make that statement – Lionel, Joel and Suhui, just to name a few. As for my colleagues, I only have superficial knowledge of the majority of them but I do have intimate knowledge of one man – Ps Ronald. And I know he loves his church. His passion for Grace AG has rubbed off not just on me, but on many others who have crossed his path.
One reason why I look toward Ps Ronald as a role model is that he is a home-grown pastor. (Sidetrack, but I humbly think that we need more home-grown ministers!) This man was once a rebellious teenager; he once served as a Sunday School superintendent; and I believe that in his 12 years serving full-time in Grace AG as a youth pastor, he has stepped on many toes in the name of advancing the church. I believe that all good leaders have an insatiable appetite to improve their organisation with whatever influence they have. Their attitude is always exemplary and inspirational. After all, attitude reflect leadership (Julius Campbell).
I am a passionate person and I am not ashamed of the way I communicate. A couple of days ago, I enjoyed a heated phone conversation with Ps Ronald; it was almost cathartic to have these occasional dialogues. No, we didn’t quarrel. I doubt we’ve ever quarreled outrightly. I love and respect him too much to fight against him. He has over the years led me by example and proven that he is fighting alongside me. You must have heard me say this time and again – everyone has a hero of faith and Ps Ronald is in my hall of fame.
I brought to him a couple of issues that were tussling in my head in an open and honest manner. And I didn’t mince my words. There aren’t many people who can convincingly tell me, “I know where you are coming from”, and have me believe them. And there aren’t many people who can make me feel like they’ve really heard what I had to say and understood every word of it. Ps Ronald is one of the few who can cut it with me.
I put down the phone and sent him a follow-up text:
Bro, sorry if I sounded rude or disrespectful. I do get carried away and am passionate in my arguments. Trust you know it’s nothing personal. I’m challenging the policy, not the person.
His candid response made me beam with pride – for who doesn’t want to be a reflection of their role model? This was what he replied verbatim:
Yes, miniature Ronald. Hahahaha. You brought up a good point…
And the rest I shall omit… Well, you may not make heads or tails of what Ps Ronald and I exchanged but that was a significant moment for me, even though he has affirmed me time and again that I remind him of himself when he first started out in ministry. I believe that there are many others on the staff team who are like Ps Ronald and I – people who love the church and want to see it grow and change for the better.
Are you an old-timer harping on the church’s distinguished history?
Let the young ones show you how much they will love the church!
Are you a young person discouraged by the church’s dismal destiny?
Let the older folks show you how much they still love the church!
My rhetoric to you tonight is – “Do you love your church?”
God knows the answer in your heart and Man will know the answer by your fruit.
No, Grace AG isn’t just my place of employment.
It is home – my home – and I will fiercely protect it.
fighting the temptation of depending on yourself.
Psalm 73: A Psalm of Asaph.
1 Truly God is good to Israel, to those whose hearts are pure. 2 But as for me, I came so close to the edge of the cliff! My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone. 3 For I envied the proud when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness.
4 They seem to live such a painless life; their bodies are so healthy and strong. 5 They aren’t troubled like other people or plagued with problems like everyone else. 6 They wear pride like a jeweled necklace, and their clothing is woven of cruelty. 7 These fat cats have everything their hearts could ever wish for! 8 They scoff and speak only evil; in their pride they seek to crush others. 9 They boast against the very heavens, and their words strut throughout the earth. 10 And so the people are dismayed and confused, drinking in all their words. 11 “Does God realize what is going on?” they ask. “Is the Most High even aware of what is happening?” 12 Look at these arrogant people— enjoying a life of ease while their riches multiply. 13 Was it for nothing that I kept my heart pure and kept myself from doing wrong? 14 All I get is trouble all day long; every morning brings me pain.
15 If I had really spoken this way, I would have been a traitor to your people. 16 So I tried to understand why the wicked prosper. But what a difficult task it is! 17 Then one day I went into your sanctuary, O God, and I thought about the destiny of the wicked.
18 Truly, you put them on a slippery path and send them sliding over the cliff to destruction. 19 In an instant they are destroyed, swept away by terrors. 20 Their present life is only a dream that is gone when they awake. When you arise, O Lord, you will make them vanish from this life. 21 Then I realized how bitter I had become, how pained I had been by all I had seen. 22 I was so foolish and ignorant— I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
23 Yet I still belong to you; you are holding my right hand. 24 You will keep on guiding me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. 25 Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. 26 My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.
27 But those who desert him will perish, for you destroy those who abandon you. 28 But as for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Sovereign LORD my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.
(New Living Translation)
I’d like to believe that Asaph was like any one of us. He had real struggles too (in this case, being tempted to harbour righteous envy against wicked men) but more importantly he dared to be real before God. I think that is remarkable for a man of his calibre.
Day in, day out, I wrestle with efforted authenticity before God. I rest in the knowledge that God already heard what’s in my heart and therefore I am lazy to articulate it. Oh, you’d be surprised to count the number of inaudible, invisible and illusional conversations that I think I had with Him. After all, why say it when He already knows it?
Asaph for me does it so well. He laid down his guiding principles at the start and proceeded to come clean with God. He neither left out details nor hid his true disgust. Sometimes, I think God can’t handle it when I get too honest… It got me thinking – if I tell God bad things about people, am I not gossiping, albeit with God?
The resolve arrived in v15 – that key word “If”. He faced real temptations but he emerged better for it. And instead of complaining and leaving it there, he actually sought insight from the Lord. So many times I have failed to rely on the counsel of the Spirit and depended instead on my own wisdom in interpreting the matter.
Tonight, Asaph takes on the role of my divine mentor and it is from his experiences that I will learn. What a sobering reminder v27-28 is! The condition underneath and the conversation upward are what truly matter – these must be my primary concerns when I fight the temptation of depending on myself.
I shall chew on Psalm 73 for the next week.
Lord, help me to see Your power in my weakness. And help me to remember that I don’t need to act invincible in Your presence.
perth day 9: I carry you with me.
Four final shots at our unofficial Perth Retreat Centre. Haha! :P
I’m glad I took the time and effort to write daily in the past nine days; now these wonderful memories are forever locked away and never forgotten (especially since I am so absent-minded). It has been a memorable holiday and certainly served its purpose of providing rejuvenation and revelation. With bated breath, I look forward to leading R-AGE, marriage preparations, restarting a new school semester next week and… My next holiday. (: For now, I believe I will enjoy re-reading these entries and re-living those memories:
- Day 1: high time to unwind. | Huiyi and I set foot in Down Under determined to unwind.
- Day 2: uptown girl and downtown boy. | One day was all we needed to see the city centre.
- Day 3: a tiny glimpse of the great outback. | We felt awed and dwarfed by God’s majesty.
- Day 4: mentoring on the road. | All roads lead to deep and meaningful conversations.
- Day 5: in wide open wonder. | Man could only complement what God delivers everyday.
- Day 6: the jewel in any family. | Prayerfully, may it be a foreshadow of Mummy and I.
- Day 7: it doesn’t matter where we go or what we do. | Love should be experienced together.
- Day 8: top eight regrets of this holiday. | I’ll add one more – wished this break was longer!
Day 9 passed the fastest. Before we knew it, we already had lunch and completed last-minute purchases at Cockburn (pronounced “Koh-burn”, not “Kok-burn”) Gateway Shopping City. We returned home after that and Huiyi and I attempted to seal our luggages while Ervina and Chin Seng prepared for our last supper at the patio. No one could actually tell that I was feeling quite sad that I would soon be saying goodbye to the lovely people here; I honestly thought it was too melodramatic to display my emotions so I held myself back.
Chin Seng powered up the outdoor gas-powered barbecue pit and brought out gigantic tiger prawns and huge chicken wings while Ervina prepared a refreshing spinach garden salad with red wine vinegar and a lovely concoction of mint honey iced tea. Even Granny Aw joined in the action and contributed an avant-garde spicy cucumber and parsley salad of her own. (I’m pretty sure Huiyi and) I felt the love that has been so generously lavished upon us as we waited for dinner to be ready. Ervina gave thanks for the final time as we tucked in to a sumptuous spread. I shamelessly asked Granny Aw if she would miss me… And she said, “当然会，你们走了这个屋子没有那么热闹”. My heart practically melted.
We snapped our final photos before we gathered in a circle in the living room and held hands to pray for one another. I was so inspired by the way Granny Aw prayed – fervent and full of faith! With one final sweep of the house, we ensured that we had left nothing but good memories behind. We sat in their grey Mazda 3 for the final time, linked up with Ervina’s grandmother along the way, and drove to Perth International Airport.
There was a part of me that wished that there was only four of us at the airport. Maybe without Ervina’s relatives around, I might have actually expressed some emotions because I needed an outlet! I already knew that I was going to miss them both so much and even as I type this, I feel a heart-wrenching sensation at the core of my being. Beyond all the sights and sounds, this couple was undoubtedly the highlight of Perth and I’m glad Huiyi and I spent the bulk of our time in their endearing company.
I love those Love Birds so much more after this nine-day getaway and I’m sure it will be a good reunion when we do meet again. Lord, thank you for bringing me to Perth but more importantly, thank You for placing Chin Seng and Ervina in my life.
***
Darling, maybe someday
Forever I will stay
Lord knows that’s what I’m dreaming of
And I’m trying to find a way
But for now the wind keeps blowing
It carries me across the sea
So don’t you worry now, because
I carry you with me
I carry you with me
(“I Carry You With Me” | Tyler Burkum)
perth day 8: top eight regrets of this holiday.
We have arrived at the end of our mini-sabbath… And it has been a good one that I am thankful for. Today’s programme was even more relaxing than yesterday’s. I slept in ’til the late morning while Huiyi and Ervina had D&M at a coffee joint in Fremantle. After that, we went to North Bridge Road (coincidentally also Perth’s Chinatown) to have lunch at the Vietnamese restaurant Tra Vinh. Then we headed to Coogee Beach to enjoy a beautiful sunset before returning home to enjoy home-cooked chicken and pork ribs curry prepared by Granny Aw. She treats me like her grandson. (:
So, I’ve decided to write something alternative on the eve of my departure from Down Under. Sounds untypically cryptic for me to write in a pessimistic manner, but here goes – my eight regrets on this trip (so far):
1. Oversleeping and missing the annual Anzac Dawn Parade today; not that I planned to go for it anyway…
2. Not reading any of the books I brought along; instead I bought three more at CS+E’s church.
3. Not dining at the famed Ciao Italia because it’s closed until 29th April; I need the tiramisu… NOW!
4. This is the biggest bummer of ’em all – not hanging out with Liang Zhi; I haven’t had quality time with him in years!
5. Not meeting up with Ps Benny as our schedules didn’t coincide; I was on a road trip on his free days.
6. Not asking Granny Aw to pray my recovery from Dercum’s Disease; I’m going to strike this out tomorrow though.
7. Earning a surface scratch on Liang’s car with a dustbin that I couldn’t see with either mirror; I’m flabbergasted.
8. Not applying medication to my huge ulcer below the tongue sooner; ulcers have a way of tainting any experience.
Less than 24 hours before Huiyi and I return to Singapore… I’m looking forward but I’m also feeling bittersweet. Won’t we all after a good break? (:
Rocking it out at Coogee Beach with air instruments…
perth day 7: it doesn’t matter where we go or what we do.
Top: Fremantle, 2007 and Bottom: Fremantle, 2011
Incidentally, I intentionally and instinctively posed the same way at the same place!
At around this time 48 hours later, I’ll be onboard the plane back to Singapore. It’s been a great holiday. I shall make the most of it and try to get some rest tonight. I’ve enjoyed attending Ps Benny Ho’s church (Faith Community Church) this morning, heading to the Love Birds’ church (Christian City Church International), eating at Little Creatures Brewery, walking around Fremantle, visiting the Easter Markets, having dinner at Nishi Japanese Restaurant and hanging out at home… It typifies the kind of holiday I’ve enjoyed – agenda-less and without programme or structure. I absolutely needed something like this.
Amidst all the sights and sounds I took in today, I also made three observations:
- It doesn’t matter where you are located; as long as you’re beside the one you love.
- It doesn’t matter how funny you are; the one who loves you will laugh with you.
- It doesn’t matter what you say; the one whom you love hears what’s in your heart.
perth day 6: the jewel in any family.
I just received the “Never Let Go” updates from Yixian… 176 in attendance, 16 newcomers, 4 salvations, 2 re-dedications! Wow! God is good! Praise Him indeed…! Well done to everyone involved! Huiyi and I are really proud of you! In fact, she just asked me, “Are you a proud father?” And I nodded furiously! (:
***
I remember telling Huiyi that this holiday has passed surprisingly slowly; it feels like we’ve been here for a long time despite three more days on our itinerary. Normally time moves pretty quickly when you’re having a good time but time in Australia seems to pass at a different rate – and we love it.
I have written this entry on my way back from Denmark, a little town just about 100 kilometres off Albany. It had been a pleasant road trip. This incidentally is also the first time I’ve driven over 200 kilometres in one sitting. At the pit stop of our return leg, Ervina asked what each of our highlights were. It had to be the wind farm for me.
On a day with little activity (except driving) barring a visit to a berry farm, the West Cape Howe Winery and the Denmark Easter Market (which I’m told is the biggest market in Western Australia in the entire year), I’d like to talk about Chin Seng and his mother(, whose fitness is commendable for she could physically keep up with all our activities)…
I’ve always found it easy to speak with aunties and grannies and it was no exception for Granny Aw (I don’t actually know her real name). I have enjoyed breaking ice with this godly woman just by showing her my mischievous self (like a grandson would) and hearing her share her wonderful testimonies over meal times. Only moments ago, she shared a few more stories in the car. But what I’ve enjoyed most is to see that fire in her eyes and the enthusiasm in her voice when she shares what God had and has been doing in her life. I’ve been encouraged by her candid anecdotes communicated through four different Chinese languages – Mandarin, Hokkien, Teochew and Cantonese. I told her that the next time she’s back in Singapore, she must make time to visit Huiyi’s and my grandmother, to tell them both how good Jesus is.
This morning, we woke up to avocado sandwiches prepared by Ervina and checked out of the beach house soon after. The visit to the berry farm was an anticlimax one as fruiting season had already passed. So it was a good thing that the winery visit was more eventful. I was glad to have finally visited a winery – now I feel more complete as a former marketing manager for a wine company. I enjoyed tasting a variety of wines and managed to pick up a bottle of Pinot Noir and Sauvignon Blanc at a pretty good price too.
In between those two places of harvest, we got a taste of the local spirit at the Easter Market. Huiyi and I aren’t big fans of such festivals; she’s convinced that she can’t find anything worthwhile in there while I’m just not fond of maddening crowds. So after a bratwurst sausage, we headed for the exit and went to enjoy our morning coffee instead at this establishment called Black Duck Cafe. Then we rejoined the gang for lunch at Bento Box, where Huiyi and I also bought matching Keep Cup coffee mugs that we would use in our respective offices and in future, our matrimonial dome.
We arrived at a local Chinese restaurant to pack dinner home. We wanted to head out to Little Creatures Brewery to have D&M but instead enjoyed it at the dining table over a few bottles of nice, cold and refreshing beer to bring the relaxing past three days to a wonderful finish.
There’s a Chinese saying that goes: 家有一老, 如有一宝. I admire the bond that Chin Seng shares with his mother; how they would converse in dialect; how he would, without fail, hold her hand to cross every road; and how he would lovingly reprimand his mother for things she would scold him for when he was younger – buckling up in the car, not buying unnecessary things and wearing enough clothes to keep warm, just to name a few. Prayerfully, may it be a reflection of Mummy and I two decades down the road.
perth day 5: in wide open wonder.
Gracefully powering Albany – taken by Huiyi on my iPhone 4.
You could never, ever, get sick of looking at the awesomeness of God’s beautiful creations – be it rock formations, waves crashing onto the coastline or just another sunset; Man could never recreate anything of this magnitude and yet God’s work takes place on a moment-by-moment basis, every single day of our lives! Is there a day that the waves would stop crashing or the sun stop setting? God is consistently faithful indeed.
To wake up from an 8-hour rest always feels good; to arise to the smell of baked bacon – that’s even better; and to walk out to bright sunshine, fresh air and air-conditioned temperature – I couldn’t ask for more. How could I not relax in such amazing conditions?
I already had a good feeling about today during breakfast – when Chin Seng and Ervina reminisced about their initial days in Perth and the struggles and victories they experienced, both individually and as a couple. I could relate to some of those settling-down blues as I experienced it in my first couple of months in Shanghai – those kind of days make you want to return home immediately.
I volunteered to take the steering wheel for most parts of today and in Australia, a driver’s best friend is Miss GPS. Our itinerary today were within close proximity of each other. We started our day with a brief visit to the strawberry park; this open-air one felt slightly different from the enclosed one at Zhao Tun in Shanghai; of the three strawberry farms I’ve visited (the other one in Cameron Highlands), I like the Shanghai one best – simply because I could eat the strawberries as I picked it.
Next up, Whale World, where we learnt about the history of the Cheynes Beach Whaling Company and how it played an integral role in the entire make-up of Albany; in short, the whaling industry made Albany. I’m relieved that these seemingly inhumane killings are now a thing of the past. Lunch served at the Whalers Galley Cafe was just as good as yesterday’s dinner; meals in Australia are costly, so I’m glad that portions are huge enough to share. The little wildlife farm at the back of Whale World (called Discovery Bay’s Walk on the Wild Side) felt like a repeat of the first wildlife farm we visited.
Sights and sounds started to get awe-inspiring when we made our way out of the man-made Whale World…
First, to The Blowholes at Torndirrup National Park. Wikipedia does a better job at describing it – a blowhole is formed as sea caves grow landwards and upwards into vertical shafts and expose themselves towards the surface, which can result in quite spectacular blasts of water from the top of the blowhole. There was a local who literally sprawled his body across a blowhole. What he did looked cool but honestly, it was a stupid thing to do for he could have gotten blown away by the blast!
Next, to The Gap and The Natural Bridge, also in the same park. No words would describe what I saw, so it may be better if you googled these two terms instead if you are keen to see what it looks like and how it was formed (since my photos are still sitting in my DSLR). We enjoyed these natural phenomenons against a backdrop of the setting sun and I must say every shot taken looked brilliant.
Finally, our day reached a literal high at the Albany Wind Farms, where we saw 12 gigantic (!) high-tech, sci-fi looking wind mills. From a distance, these blades looked like they were revolving slowly, but they are actually rotating at a speed of nearly 200 km/h! We also learnt that wind power accounts for 80% of Albany’s power supply; I can understand why after seeing these giants in action in front of a dramatic purple-hue sunset.
That more than sums up Good Friday… The girls are preparing a sumptuous dinner as I write this entry… Oh man, I can’t wait to sink my teeth into beef steaks, pork chops and potato salad over D&M dialogues… It’s going to be a great evening!
joey asher | misunderstoodsunshinekid 