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perth day 6: the jewel in any family.
I just received the “Never Let Go” updates from Yixian… 176 in attendance, 16 newcomers, 4 salvations, 2 re-dedications! Wow! God is good! Praise Him indeed…! Well done to everyone involved! Huiyi and I are really proud of you! In fact, she just asked me, “Are you a proud father?” And I nodded furiously! (:
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I remember telling Huiyi that this holiday has passed surprisingly slowly; it feels like we’ve been here for a long time despite three more days on our itinerary. Normally time moves pretty quickly when you’re having a good time but time in Australia seems to pass at a different rate – and we love it.
I have written this entry on my way back from Denmark, a little town just about 100 kilometres off Albany. It had been a pleasant road trip. This incidentally is also the first time I’ve driven over 200 kilometres in one sitting. At the pit stop of our return leg, Ervina asked what each of our highlights were. It had to be the wind farm for me.
On a day with little activity (except driving) barring a visit to a berry farm, the West Cape Howe Winery and the Denmark Easter Market (which I’m told is the biggest market in Western Australia in the entire year), I’d like to talk about Chin Seng and his mother(, whose fitness is commendable for she could physically keep up with all our activities)…
I’ve always found it easy to speak with aunties and grannies and it was no exception for Granny Aw (I don’t actually know her real name). I have enjoyed breaking ice with this godly woman just by showing her my mischievous self (like a grandson would) and hearing her share her wonderful testimonies over meal times. Only moments ago, she shared a few more stories in the car. But what I’ve enjoyed most is to see that fire in her eyes and the enthusiasm in her voice when she shares what God had and has been doing in her life. I’ve been encouraged by her candid anecdotes communicated through four different Chinese languages – Mandarin, Hokkien, Teochew and Cantonese. I told her that the next time she’s back in Singapore, she must make time to visit Huiyi’s and my grandmother, to tell them both how good Jesus is.
This morning, we woke up to avocado sandwiches prepared by Ervina and checked out of the beach house soon after. The visit to the berry farm was an anticlimax one as fruiting season had already passed. So it was a good thing that the winery visit was more eventful. I was glad to have finally visited a winery – now I feel more complete as a former marketing manager for a wine company. I enjoyed tasting a variety of wines and managed to pick up a bottle of Pinot Noir and Sauvignon Blanc at a pretty good price too.
In between those two places of harvest, we got a taste of the local spirit at the Easter Market. Huiyi and I aren’t big fans of such festivals; she’s convinced that she can’t find anything worthwhile in there while I’m just not fond of maddening crowds. So after a bratwurst sausage, we headed for the exit and went to enjoy our morning coffee instead at this establishment called Black Duck Cafe. Then we rejoined the gang for lunch at Bento Box, where Huiyi and I also bought matching Keep Cup coffee mugs that we would use in our respective offices and in future, our matrimonial dome.
We arrived at a local Chinese restaurant to pack dinner home. We wanted to head out to Little Creatures Brewery to have D&M but instead enjoyed it at the dining table over a few bottles of nice, cold and refreshing beer to bring the relaxing past three days to a wonderful finish.
There’s a Chinese saying that goes: 家有一老, 如有一宝. I admire the bond that Chin Seng shares with his mother; how they would converse in dialect; how he would, without fail, hold her hand to cross every road; and how he would lovingly reprimand his mother for things she would scold him for when he was younger – buckling up in the car, not buying unnecessary things and wearing enough clothes to keep warm, just to name a few. Prayerfully, may it be a reflection of Mummy and I two decades down the road.
ten disjointed thoughts and an attempt to resume writing.
1. Numbness is a clear symptom of pre-burnout; it’s a terrible feeling (paradoxically speaking) not being able to feel. All I asked God for today was to help me love Him with my heart. I have little problems loving Him with my mind, soul and strength or even loving others. But to love God with my emotions seemed like the hardest thing to do. Nonetheless, the key word here, is “pre” and the response to numbness is gratitude of foresight; the insight of foresight.
2. Ever since planning for Rhema 2010 began, everything seemed like a task to and for me. I loathe it when my (rare) desire to dwell in melancholy is overpowered by my choleric temperament to solve problems, disengage and move on. I may not show it, but I hate being unemotional. I hate it, really. It was never like that before when I was younger – what’s happening to me? I have become intolerant to affection and indifferent to sentiment. I must never become irrelevant to the people I love and disinterested in the world that I live in.
3. I experienced a paradigm shift on Monday. I repented before God for being transactional in the way that I related to Him, my mentors and mentorees. It is my deep desire that my relationships with people evolve into transformational journeys, and not just transactional events. I got so annoyed at myself for getting ahead of myself. I must learn to differentiate between form and substance. I must not allow intentionality descend into the abyss of transactions. There’s so much more – I don’t want to settle for anything lesser (with presumptuousness)!
4. This week, I finally caught a glimpse of why Peter Chao and Edmund Chan prizes mentoring relationships above ministry leadership. After spending the evening with DYLM, I understood it; while leading R-AGE to the next level is what I will always aspire to do, being a friend and mentor to my beloved shepherds and mentorees is what I shall desire to be for all my days. And I believe the turning point was this week – when investing into their lives becomes the topmost ministry priority for me; let’s see how God helps me to translate that into action.
5. I’ve completely messed up what “intentional” means. And I’ve shortchanged myself with my mentors and shortchanged my mentorees when they’re with me. Oh Lord, help me to undo what I’ve foolishly done! Humble and help me to learn from this. Intentional is when I take a step back to allow God to use me to minister to people. Intentional is when I seize opportunities. I know I’m speaking in code and only I will decrypt it. Ironically, agenda is the enemy of intentionality. Yes, I have identified my “Peter, James and John”; the journey with them begins now…
6. I could have a hundred mentors and a thousand mentorees, but nobody could ever take the place of each one of them in my heart. It’s not about calendar or content… No one could replace no one. One of the worst feelings in mentoring (or life in general), even though it’s theoretically unhealthy, is the feeling of abandonment. I understand how you felt now because I felt it myself… Now it’s up to me to take the next step towards reconciliation – I know it is about to unfold. Oh God, give me wisdom to repair relationships. People aren’t statistics and mentors aren’t vending machines; I am humbled.
7. I intentionally (URGH – the use of that word fills me with disgust!) rescheduled all my appointments next week because I’m in desperate need of an extended break. Regardless of how invincible I’ve always perceived myself to be, still I couldn’t shake off the emptiness that accompanied the disengagement from an intensive two-month discipleship programme. I gave so much away my tank is almost empty. It happened last year and again it happened this year. I am a fool to think I could have overcome it. (Now I understand why I was compelled to read Wayne Cordeiro’s “Leading On Empty”.) It’s time to recharge.
8. Leading a youth ministry from 80 to 120 people within a year makes any youth pastor swell with pride… But nothing – and I mean it, nothing! – is more satisfying and encouraging than watching my successors take the lead to bless me… This afternoon, they instructed me to sit back, relax and do absolutely nothing tonight – and I did just that. I cannot thank God enough for their deed and gesture. Keith and Yixian, you both are God’s precious gifts to me and I will remember that I am leading a group of youths who love me deeply and want me just as I am. You have honoured me tonight – thank you.
9. I thank God for the parental green light to (at last!) take our relationship to the next level in 2012. I may not have the emotional capacity to respond but cognitively, it’s one of the greatest news I’ve received in a while. What a privilege – thank you for daring to entrust your daughter to me; she is most special because one has ever made me want to love her more than I love myself. You have no idea how much we are looking forward to our union. God has answered our year-long prayer; He is faithful indeed!
10. I really hope to commence, complete and continue my theological education at Fuller Seminary and I am truly convinced that it will come to pass one day…
no one would say it any better; Jesus > MOE.
I know I’ve lost the momentum to write again – I blame the weekend – but in my daily (my youth leaders call it stalking, but I call it) web-trawling, I read an article written by one of my favourite youths (Okay, I have a lot of favourites. HAHA). I’ve seen this fine young lady mature from a loud and energetic 14-year-old girl to well, a loud and energetic 20-year-old young adult, except that she’s got tons more wisdom between her shoulders now. (:
Her short testimony demonstrates the wisdom that she has gained over the years and proves the power of hindsight at the present – and how it provides insight of the past – and eventually foresight into the future. Today, only two out of the eight post-‘O’ level students in REAL 2011 were posted into their first choice. A part of me is clueless in dispensing advice, except in encouraging them to remain hopeful and trust in God; it has been more than a decade since I received my posting results, so it takes someone who’s current to the education system to encourage these students with conviction and credibility.
I’ve always stated that Jesus > Grades in my sermons or on Facebook; I mean seriously, did you really think that a B or C could stop God’s will from unfolding in your life? Tonight, I’ll reiterate this point – Jesus > Posting; getting into your 2nd or 9th choice isn’t the end of God’s will for you – in fact, it’s PART of God’s will. Why am I so confident? I say this with such conviction because I know you’ll unravel the answers for yourself a couple of years later. The real question to ask is: can/do you trust Him? I can because Jesus > MOE and Jesus > Education.
(For those who are keen, you can read Yixian’s excellent sharing here: I thank God for bad results.)
Remember, young people, God’s faithfulness is best experienced at the END of a journey, never at the beginning; and you just got started! Chins up – you’re walking on good ground! (:
joey asher | misunderstoodsunshinekid 