Blog Archives
X. the preparation before USS.
Looking back to before the recce trip, I remember asking Cheryl about her recent experience at USS. She was the one who told me about the Pavilion and how the sun set beautifully over there. That actually prompted the site visit. She even sent me some of the photos she took at the Pavilion when she was there. It was important that I saw it for myself.
I also consulted Joel, who visited USS with Cheryl (and two others). Both of them gave me insights into what I would expect at USS as a visitor. Rudith however, could provide real advice on what I could or couldn’t do in USS, since she worked there. So I took the liberty to randomly and suddenly message her via FaceBook.
And within an hour, I received her reply via WhatsApp! I explained to her why I could not add her as a friend on FaceBook and that our communication would have to be discreet.
Normally, Huiyi has full access to everything in my iPhone (since I have nothing to hide) but in those crucial weeks, I was cautious whenever I texted or received a message from someone. I couldn’t afford to give it away due to a careless mistake of concealment.
Anyway, Rudith goes on to play an important role in my proposal. And considering that I was a complete stranger to her, what she did for me spoke volumes about the generosity of her character. You’ll discover soon why I’ve said that…
Next chapter: the red tape that I couldn’t clear.
IX. the third idea – Universal Studios Singapore.
Since I was going to visit USS with Huiyi on her birthday, I considered proposing there instead. It would have been an enchanting, unique and memorable proposal at the very least. After all, how many people have actually proposed at USS before? I had already planned for Gideon and Caleb to camp at the alley to capture the entire sequence.
Here are three of the many photos I took with my iPhone 4 during the first recce trip:
The Pavilion @ New York, where she'd be.
Far Far Away across the lake, where I'd be.
This is what she'd see from the Pavilion.
The idea was to propose at the Pavilion (a little hut with powerful binoculars at the outskirts of New York, overlooking Far Far Away). I would blindfold Huiyi and bring her to the Pavilion and leave her there to listen to tracks that I had lined up for her in the playlist, while I quickly make my way to Far Far Away. The end of the playlist would include a pre-recorded sound clip of my voice asking her to remove her blindfold.
Immediately, she would be visually greeted with an A2-sized poster that reads, “I will show you your FUTURE far far away…” I would have placed this poster directly below or beside the binoculars before I scooted off to Far Far Away. She would then look into the binoculars as prompted and see me at Far Far Away (*inserts Huiyi’s shocked reaction here*) where I would be holding up five placards (either concurrently or consecutively, I hadn’t decided then) that looked like this:
At this point, I will then gesture to her to return to the iPod to listen to the next track – the song that I had recorded for her. During my second recce trip to USS, I had already timed how long it would take for me to run (90 seconds) or walk (180 seconds) from Far Far Away to New York, and vice-versa. I had more than enough time to move from Point A to Point B.
Now, the idea was to link up with Shrek and Princess Fiona (whom I would have hired for an hour) to deliver to her a set of three placards after she finishes the song. These A3-sized placards would have the same words – “Yes!” – printed on it in different colours. I printed these placards for her to show me her obvious and only response to my earlier question at Far Far Away. (I honestly thought that by doing it this way, I would have stayed true to my cheeky personality.)
Then I would take a relaxing stroll back to the Pavilion from Far Far Away, since I only needed 180 seconds, and the song lasted four minutes. As soon as she sees me promenading in, Shrek and Fiona would prompt her to show me her response with one of the placards. I would then saunter towards her, and finally get down on one knee to put the engagement ring on her finger.
The sweetest spot in USS.
And when she agrees to become my fiancée, we would embrace, kiss, enjoy this special moment together and take lots of photos in the basking sunset. (Gideon and Caleb would have appeared by then…) Then we would take a short 20-metre amble to Mel’s Drive In (an American restaurant in USS), where our friends would already be waiting in ambush to commence the engagement party immediately. Finally, the evening would end at 8:55pm, and I would usher everyone outside to watch USS’ complimentary and fireworks scheduled at 9pm.
It was an extremely complicated, but comprehensive plan. Yet I was convinced of it. It was an ambitious plan of course, but nothing was beyond an idealistic sanguine.
Next chapter: the preparation before USS.
VIII. the secret weapon – her birthday.
You must bear in mind that throughout this entire time of planning, Huiyi has absolutely no idea that she would become my fiancée before we arrived in Perth. Every other day, I imagine her imagining the sunset scene that Perth promises – great! – it’s going according to plan.
But there’s a part of me that fears giving away the idea for I used to have a reputation of a surprise spoiler. So the last thing that I wanted was to spoil what possibly would be the greatest surprise I would ever spring on anyone!
We had wanted to visit Universal Studios Singapore (USS) for the longest time but was always reluctant because of the exorbitant entry fee and average rides. Hence it was our blessing that Huiyi had friends in right places; Rudith worked in USS and was a friend from Huiyi’s university days. They had lunch together recently and seemed to hit it off well. Well, well enough for Rudith to magnanimously offer two of her limited eight annual staff discounts to us so that we could enter USS at a knock-down price.
Huiyi proceeded to purchase a pair of tickets through Rudith and I offered to pay for it as part of her birthday present. We had wanted to go on a Thursday instead of a Friday simply because we speculated a smaller crowd. But after a week of deliberation, we decided to have it on Friday instead.
Next chapter: the third idea – Universal Studios Singapore.
VI. the second idea – Mapletree Business City.
Wei Kurk, one of my buddies, works in the same vicinity as Huiyi. Her office is located in PSA building, at the end of Alexandra Road closer to the entrance of Labrador Park. Kurk told me that he once saw how the sun set in Mapletree Business City (MBC). I was convinced of it and could almost imagine the brilliance. For as long as I live, I will never get sick of admiring God’s magnificence through a sunset and sunrise.
I googled “Labrador Park sunset” and “Pasir Panjang sunset” and confirmed that this was indeed a viable venue. (The other places I had considered were Pandan Reservoir, Marina Barrage and that open field behind Blackmore Road.) In that month, I intentionally made regular trips to Huiyi’s office to pick her up after work, but also to check out the sunset environment, and the distance and time taken to walk from her office to the proposal venue, which was around 200-300 metres away.
The original plan was to get Huiyi’s closest girlfriends to spring a birthday surprise for her at her office right about the time she knocked off work. (Of course, I would need to involve her colleagues whom I barely knew, but was confident that they would be more than willing to help.) Everyone in the office would create a ruckus and tell her that her girlfriends are about to whisk her away for a girls’ night out. Then they would lead her to the proposal venue – a tiny man-made knoll (pictured above) in the centre of the MBC atrium, where she would (please indulge me) hear the sound of the soulful-stirring voice of her fiance-to-be, serenading her from a distance away, singing the song that he courted her with.
And as she walks up the little green hill, I’d be there waiting, drawing her in with my melodious music… And as I finish the song, (by then, a small crowd of white-collared executives would have gathered to check out what was going on,) I’d leave my microphone stand like a rock star, put down my guitar in style, and get down on one knee (and melt the hearts of all the women in our line of sight) to ask that status-changing question.
Yes, I was fully convinced of this absolutely brilliant plan! There was no way I could fail!
Next chapter: the first group of people involved.
V. the first idea – Perth.
I proposed to Huiyi on her 24th birthday (15 April 2011), but in the last quarter of 2010, after I confirmed with Chin Seng and Ervina (our mentors who migrated to Australia) that Huiyi and I would take a holiday in Perth in April 2011, I also informed Chin Seng that I might propose in Perth. He gave me his fullest support and graciously opened up his home to house us during our short stay there.
One of my closest friends, Liang Zhi, also resides in Perth and he was the one who got me started on photography. So I knew I could count on my three favourite Singaporeans in Perth to play the role of paparazzi for my engagement. I was seriously considering proposing in Perth and had sussed out possible proposal locations as well as Perth’s sunset and sunrise timings.
But I decided against it because there were just too many factors out of my control. Sure, an overseas proposal was special and romantic, but it was surely unrealistic too. Our hectic schedules didn’t allow us to plan our Perth itinerary in advance and not knowing where we were going to be on which day or what we were doing was risky. A lack of knowledge of the traffic conditions, a shortage of proper recording equipment and just a general scarcity of resources counted against me. And not being familiar with the proposal venue especially, proved to be my deciding deterrent.
Therefore, I canned the idea of proposing in Perth despite its allure but I used this vacation as a decoy to devastating effect.
In our conversations about Perth, I stealthily revealed how Liang Zhi was an accomplished photographer and how Chin Seng and Ervina owned a DSLR. As we scoured Lonely Planet for places to visit in Perth, I playfully but shrewdly hinted to her those places with great views of the sunset and sunrise. I was sure she got the hint. I reminded her to pack that denim blouse from Zara that I bought for her last year and assured her that the photographs would look amazing with that light blue fabric draped over her.
Well, let’s just say the proposal could have taken place in any of the following locations:
The clincher was this, “After we’re back from Perth, the first thing we should do is to start a joint bank account, okay?”
She nodded with excited anticipation. I smiled at her with a I-know-you’ll-love-the-proposal-I’m-gonna-blow-you-away-with-in-Perth look in my eyes. In my head, I knew I had fully convinced her of my grand proposal that was never going to take place in Perth.
And I did this a few times – never intentionally, always incidentally. But I was intentionally incidental, if you know what I mean.
Now, I can finally concentrate on planning the REAL proposal…
Next chapter: the second idea – Mapletree Business City.
IV. the ultimate engagement ring.
I started reading up on diamonds and began consulting married men like Victor and Joel on prices and procedures. Eventually, I went with Lionel’s jeweler instead. And like a best friend would, he accompanied me for the first time to where he got his engagement ring and wedding bands done, and informed me of how much I should roughly be coughing out for my ring.
I spent a good number of nights asking Mr Google for unique designs. And I also shamelessly brought Huiyi into the Lee Hwa’s and Love & Co’s not just to get her finger size but also to get a glimpse of the kind of design she fancied. I was convinced that she was neither pining for a big rock nor a hefty price tag, but a design that would be unique and evergreen. I eventually picked a diamond that wasn’t so big until it looked vulgar or too small until it looked cheapskate. To me, it was the perfect rock on the perfect setting that resulted in a perfect ring.
My research was complete. I knew my budget; I adapted concepts I got off the Internet and designed my engagement ring; I chose my rock and type of gold. And this ring-making process began way back in October. I made a several trips to the jeweler to ensure that the ring turned out the way I had envisioned it to be. By January, on my fourth trip there, I paid for and collected what would be the most beautiful engagement ring I have ever seen – so lovely I wore it a few times on my finger to imagine how it would look on her finger! I remember rehearsing that “Will You Marry Me?” scene with myself – using my right hand to put the ring on my left hand. I couldn’t wait to do it for real!
And at the back of the ring, I decided to engrave “Phil 2:1-11 ILYTTE”. It’s the passage of scripture that we’d like our wedding exhorter to preach from. We are inspired by God’s Word – how the Apostle Paul used the supremacy of Christ as an example for us to serve each other and consider each other better than ourselves. He instructed us not to think less of ourselves but to think of ourselves less.
In summary, these are the few things I’ve learnt about making the ultimate engagement ring, which I’d like to share with you:
- Steer clear of the mainstream brands and save yourself some money.
- Ensure that you have a buffer of around $100 along with your budget.
- Stick to your budget and do not be embarrassed by what you can afford.
- The ring is not about you. It’s about her; what’s pretty to you might be plain to her.
- Consult your peers, do your research well and do not be afraid to ask questions.
- You must know what you value more in a diamond – cut, clarity, carat or colour?
- Choose your setting well – the right design and type of gold accentuates the diamond.
- A lasting design trumps a contemporary one; do you want to get sick of looking at it?
- Don’t be ashamed to bargain with the jeweler; you don’t get to do it very often.
- Make your engagement ring way in advance – you never know when you need it!
The adage goes, “The most dangerous place is the safest place”. So I kept the engagement ring in an old cookie glass jar just below my television console. Every other week, I’d take it out to admire that wonderful work of art. I was extremely pleased with it and I badly wanted to share this excitement with my family. But I resisted the temptation of showing it to my sister and mother because I wanted Huiyi to be the first person (other than the jeweler and I) to see it .
The ring rested quietly in the cookie jar for four long months. And each time I neared it, I felt my heart palpitating.
Next chapter: the fire idea – Perth.
III. the most nerve-wrecking moment.
We arrived at Huiyi’s home and her parents retreated into their private spaces almost instantaneously; her father marched into the study to use the computer while her mother reclined at the living room to watch a Taiwanese drama serial. This left Huiyi and I in complete disarray of what we ought to do next. It was the most nerve-wrecking moment of our entire evening. I composed myself and attempted to solve this puzzle in my head.
Huiyi was fidgety and was literally skipping to-and-from the living room to the study like a siao-zhar-bor who had too much wine (I quote her father) in hopes of getting her parents into the same square-metre. She did what most daughters would do – approach the patriarch of the household – after all, she’s Daddy’s girl – what could go wrong? Her father left her with five golden words.
“Go and talk to Mummy.”
At this time, she was already crestfallen and I saw defeat in her eyes. We knew each other so well that I could sense that she almost wanted to give up. I refused to give up of course. So like a valiant (and absolutely reckless) warrior, I decided to take over the proceedings. With fire in my belly (not wine), I rescued Huiyi’s night like her knight in shining armour.
Bravely, I declared, “Aunty, actually tonight, Huiyi and I wanted to talk to you and Uncle about us getting married next year”.
*pause for effect*
“HUH!? SO FAST!?” Her eyes nearly popped out of its sockets.
*hears a pin drop*
“Let me finish the show first,” she continued, after composing herself.
*silence on set*
Look, there was almost nothing I could do except to let the matriarch finish the final fifteen minutes of her Taiwanese show. The knight in shining armour became powerless and felt his armour plates rusting in the quarter of an hour that seemed to have lasted forever. It was the longest and most awkward duration of time for Huiyi and I. Oh if only we could count the galaxy of thoughts that sprinted through our heads…
Well, to cut the long story a little shorter, her parents were pretty cool about it eventually. By the end of the evening we were in business mode – negotiating dates and being asked if we had considered the thousand-and-one things that couples should consider. We assured them that this moment had been one year in the planning. And that seemed to do the trick.
It wasn’t a real surprise that their initial reaction was that of sudden shock (and not sweet surprise) – this is a huge moment for any mother or father. The best thing that a man could do at this moment is to assure them that they can be confident that he would take good care of their precious daughter. Don’t exaggerate or make dramatic claims like “I will give her a great life” or “She will have everything she wants”. Instead, be mature, composed and calm about it. Tell them that you are serious about marrying their daughter, committed to do your best for her, and describe to them how you plan to do it in the immediate future. I think every sane parent looks for a realistic future son-in-law, not a romantic one.
All in all, that evening was a great moment for us in the relationship; it was a breakthrough knowing that we received their blessings and support. Never underestimate how important this is, especially for the lady. We used to think that we only wanted to marry one another but over the years, we’ve come to accept that we aren’t just marrying one another but one another’s family as well.
Finally, planning for the proposal can commence.
Next chapter: the ultimate engagement ring.
joey asher | misunderstoodsunshinekid 