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i find myself in a strange place tonight.
I find myself in a strange place tonight.
An arsenal of eight speakers shifted many of my paradigms.
But my heart was never at rest, wrestling hurt and intercession.
Then You hailed a verbal reminder of why we do what we do.
The lessons I’ve learnt will revolutionise my leadership.
But tainted it was by a brutal confession with a closest comrade.
Then You lifted my soul with the heart’s cry of a leader.
Effective comprehension precedes radical application.
Then I put us on the line for hubris bruised Your name.
But prayers and encouragement further fueled the fire in my eyes.
I find myself in a strange place tonight.
***
Faith in What We Don’t See
The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.
By faith, we see the world called into existence by God’s word, what we see created by what we don’t see.
By an act of faith, Abel brought a better sacrifice to God than Cain. It was what he believed, not what he brought, that made the difference. That’s what God noticed and approved as righteous. After all these centuries, that belief continues to catch our notice.
By an act of faith, Enoch skipped death completely. “They looked all over and couldn’t find him because God had taken him.” We know on the basis of reliable testimony that before he was taken “he pleased God.” It’s impossible to please God apart from faith. And why? Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that he exists and that he cares enough to respond to those who seek him.
By faith, Noah built a ship in the middle of dry land. He was warned about something he couldn’t see, and acted on what he was told. The result? His family was saved. His act of faith drew a sharp line between the evil of the unbelieving world and the rightness of the believing world. As a result, Noah became intimate with God.
By an act of faith, Abraham said yes to God’s call to travel to an unknown place that would become his home. When he left he had no idea where he was going. By an act of faith he lived in the country promised him, lived as a stranger camping in tents. Isaac and Jacob did the same, living under the same promise. Abraham did it by keeping his eye on an unseen city with real, eternal foundations–the City designed and built by God.
By faith, barren Sarah was able to become pregnant, old woman as she was at the time, because she believed the One who made a promise would do what he said. That’s how it happened that from one man’s dead and shriveled loins there are now people numbering into the millions.
Each one of these people of faith died not yet having in hand what was promised, but still believing. How did they do it? They saw it way off in the distance, waved their greeting, and accepted the fact that they were transients in this world. People who live this way make it plain that they are looking for their true home. If they were homesick for the old country, they could have gone back any time they wanted. But they were after a far better country than that–heaven country. You can see why God is so proud of them, and has a City waiting for them.
By faith, Abraham, at the time of testing, offered Isaac back to God. Acting in faith, he was as ready to return the promised son, his only son, as he had been to receive him–and this after he had already been told, “Your descendants shall come from Isaac.” Abraham figured that if God wanted to, he could raise the dead. In a sense, that’s what happened when he received Isaac back, alive from off the altar.
By an act of faith, Isaac reached into the future as he blessed Jacob and Esau.
By an act of faith, Jacob on his deathbed blessed each of Joseph’s sons in turn, blessing them with God’s blessing, not his own–as he bowed worshipfully upon his staff.
By an act of faith, Joseph, while dying, prophesied the exodus of Israel, and made arrangements for his own burial.
By an act of faith, Moses’ parents hid him away for three months after his birth. They saw the child’s beauty, and they braved the king’s decree.
By faith, Moses, when grown, refused the privileges of the Egyptian royal house. He chose a hard life with God’s people rather than an opportunistic soft life of sin with the oppressors. He valued suffering in the Messiah’s camp far greater than Egyptian wealth because he was looking ahead, anticipating the payoff. By an act of faith, he turned his heel on Egypt, indifferent to the king’s blind rage. He had his eye on the One no eye can see, and kept right on going. By an act of faith, he kept the Passover Feast and sprinkled Passover blood on each house so that the destroyer of the firstborn wouldn’t touch them.
By an act of faith, Israel walked through the Red Sea on dry ground. The Egyptians tried it and drowned.
By faith, the Israelites marched around the walls of Jericho for seven days, and the walls fell flat.
By an act of faith, Rahab, the Jericho harlot, welcomed the spies and escaped the destruction that came on those who refused to trust God.
I could go on and on, but I’ve run out of time. There are so many more–Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, the prophets… Through acts of faith, they toppled kingdoms, made justice work, took the promises for themselves. They were protected from lions, fires, and sword thrusts, turned disadvantage to advantage, won battles, routed alien armies. Women received their loved ones back from the dead. There were those who, under torture, refused to give in and go free, preferring something better: resurrection. Others braved abuse and whips, and, yes, chains and dungeons. We have stories of those who were stoned, sawed in two, murdered in cold blood; stories of vagrants wandering the earth in animal skins, homeless, friendless, powerless–the world didn’t deserve them!-making their way as best they could on the cruel edges of the world.
Not one of these people, even though their lives of faith were exemplary, got their hands on what was promised. God had a better plan for us: that their faith and our faith would come together to make one completed whole, their lives of faith not complete apart from ours.
Hebrews 11 (The Message)
comfort for the mourning.
Today, I mourn and grieve with one of my youth leaders, whose mother passed away suddenly due to an unexpected stroke in her neck. People of God, if you don’t know him but are reading this, pray for him and his father. And if you do, walk the extra mile and be available to help at the wake in any way possible if he requires you to. Contact me if you want the details to the wake. Let’s cover him with our love and support through his dark valleys and have faith in God to trust that He is sovereign. It is never easy to deal with departures.
***
comfort for the mourning
by joey asher tan
bleakness stares in your face
lost hopes, shattered dreams
echoing the rain, the pain and a reflectionless mirror
displaying a grief-stricken daze
reflecting also
the agony of tears
where it hurts most
lies the greatest comfort
too young, too soon
too suddenly
pray all’s fine when you wake next morn
but everything’s naught and everything’s torn
this couldn’t, it shouldn’t
i’m shaken with grief
the process is
but part of the plan
disbelief trails your shadow
a black market of unquenchable grief
sickening irony
of unfathomable timing and tragedy
never thought, not ever wished
alas, you’ve already seen her last
this is My plan
now you may not understand
stay strong now
you are in need and needed
by one who is broken to his feet
trickling down your cheeks
tears roll
with misery, forfeit and a tinge of courage
cast your cares to Me
for I am here with you
under attack
by lies you may not comprehend
may angels surround
may God protect
your mind, your emotions
your all as you suffer the wreck
for you I weep
like a soul without sleep
no answers, no replies
facts and figures form your sigh
don’t lose your way
don’t go astray
head for a fresh start
trust in Him and find His direction in your heart
yes, that is true
may it be, for you
a sinner you and I, and I grieve for her soul
you don’t know
but I just realised my deepest of concerns for you
crying out
reaching out
my arms embrace your being, my dearest brother
but I do know that’s when
divine comfort flows
but what if I cannot connect with youths anymore?
Even though I’ve only been with R-AGE as a full-time staff for nine months, it feels as if I’ve been doing it for nine years. I started serving as a youth leader when I was 17 years old and I “rose” through the “ranks” and have experienced almost every single ministry role before. Before I left for Shanghai, I must have been one of the youth leaders with the highest public profiles – surely everyone knew Joey Asher Tan.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), all these amounted to nothing.
I was severely humbled when I returned for my first Grace Retreat (the one with Life Game) and to my shock and horror (and massive disappointment), there were people who did not know who I was and those who knew me pretended like I didn’t exist – I don’t blame them – being physically away does result in relational drifting, and that is manifested in friendships that are eventually downgraded to acquaintance-ship. I have since learnt that youth ministry is transient and that no leader, however big his or her profile, is indispensable. The reality is, one day youths may forget who RY is or what CX has done for the ministry. I always think that if it could happen to JH, SH, DL or JT (leaders of yesteryear) it could definitely happen to me.
And you know what? I’m actually thankful for that.
It challenges me to think beyond myself and to build for the next generation of leaders and youths, for the future R-AGE and Grace Assembly of God, and ultimately, the next Joey Asher (i.e. the next youth minister who’s going to take over me). And yes, I’ve already identified my potential successor(s). I’m so thankful that this ministry is never going to be about me. And the best thing about it is that it’s not even down to my own choices or “something that I’ve set out to do” but by the innate and proven ephemeral nature of youth ministry. It forces all of us to think beyond today. I absolutely embrace that because I’m in the business of guiding and helping the generations after me to surpass everything I have achieved and will ever establish.
By the way, I’m quite astonished with the way the Spirit leads my pen.
Actually this wasn’t what I had intended to write about today; what I had wanted to share was the advice I gave to AS this afternoon. She asked, “But what if I cannot connect with the youths anymore?” I struggled with exactly that when I first re-joined and attempted to re-connected with R-AGE and I could really identify with her. So I gave her three pointers which I applied to help me overcome this real challenge.
- Ask God to give you a heart to love the youths and hands to serve them.
- Be consistent and always be around for them – to listen to and guide them – they’ll open up to you sure enough.
- Be patient with yourself and give yourself a trial period of at least three months before you evaluate your progress.
I met LW for an early dinner and I was so encouraged by his appetite to learn and grow. This boy’s got immense potential in the ministry and I can’t wait to see him grow into a man of God; it heartens me greatly to know that the ministry is filled with young men who are as hungry as he is; the future of R-AGE looks bright indeed. Praise the Lord!