a need to lead.

I thoroughly enjoyed sharing at the workshop I conducted today, prepared together with HY. We hope that those who were in attendance went home with new knowledge and perspectives!  Here’s the executive summary:

First and foremost, we need to acknowledge that leadership, while predominately carried by the guy, is also a shared responsibility. A failure to communicate this will lead to a mismanagement of expectations, which can be dangerous if issues are allowed to drag, get ignored or be swept under the carpet. The gal has to remember that she’d have to take on certain leadership responsibilities as well.

I commenced the workshop with a deliberately tricky activity that proves two assumptions:

  1. The guy naturally knows and understands how to lead, how to be a(n ideal) leader and does not consider the gal for a leadership role in the relationship.
  2. The gal is naturally confused about her leadership responsibilities in a relationship, left leadership to the guy and is uncertain about her involvement, if any at all.

We defined courtship this way:

  • a continuous process,
  • a journey of empowering, enabling, supporting and understanding one another,
  • a two-way partnership, and
  • that it begins with marriage in mind.

We believe that leadership is about:

  • serving one another
  • taking responsibility for things already done
  • bringing out God’s best in each other
  • taking initiative for things that are yet to be done

I concluded the workshop with another activity that exposes the guys’ understanding of the gals’ needs and their understanding of their own needs, and vice-versa. With this, I introduced the five love languages (made famous by Gary Chapman) and stressed the importance of understanding the love languages of their partners.

I encouraged the participants to go on a paradigm shift with me:

When you know the need, you will know how to lead; only then will you be able to show one another how to love each other.

Finally, I presented a biblical yardstick for everyone to refer to, in any event of uncertainty:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, English Standard Version)

Disclaimer: the contents above are original and does not represent anyone else’s opinions except our own.

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About Joey Asher Tan

Apart from Jesus, I can do nothing; I am absolutely nothing without Christ.

Posted on December 14, 2009, in Attempted Provocation, Theocentric Orientation and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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