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water and conversation.

There is nothing more satisfying than to drown oneself in ice-cold water on a blistering hot day or after a sweaty game of football. Water is essential to life; after all, our bodies, like planet Earth, has 70% worth of water. No wonder older folks always ask us to drink more water whenever we fall sick, regardless of what sickness it is. I subscribe to that theory too, especially when I am lacking in sleep (which is pretty often) for water compensates the loss of rest. Water sustains life.

This got me thinking about relationships and its sustaining factor. Of GC’s five love languages, quality time is often the one that is easiest to offer yet hardest to measure. Most people think that it’s just about hanging out and spending time together doing nothing, but I beg to differ. And remember this – it’s not about how much time you spend together. A relationship or friendship cannot progress if there is no exchange of facts, opinions and feelings. Why do you think so many people end relationships because one has failed to understand the other?

Don’t underestimate the necessity of conversations. I am certain that conversation is to relationships what water is to life; something simple and almost taken for granted, but in its absence, cessation is almost a certainty. Rethink the way you relate to one another. Make a deliberate attempt to progress from exchanging information, to exchanging thoughts, to exchanging emotions and convictions. Just as water promotes plant growth, watch how quality conversations bring development to relationships. We were created to be relational beings and are unable to thrive in isolation (from other people). The famous old adage by JD stands true – “No man is an island”. (Funnily enough, islands are surround by water.) We must learn to depend on one another as life is not a soliloquy.

Needless to say, your relationship with God naturally stagnates when prayer, worship or the reading of the word decreases in quality and quantity. In the words of BH, “Frequency and intensity equals bonding”. It is my prayer that you experience the yearning to bond with the Lord today.

So whenever you drink water, may you remember to make intentional efforts to have quality conversation with the ones you love.

a need to lead.

I thoroughly enjoyed sharing at the workshop I conducted today, prepared together with HY. We hope that those who were in attendance went home with new knowledge and perspectives!  Here’s the executive summary:

First and foremost, we need to acknowledge that leadership, while predominately carried by the guy, is also a shared responsibility. A failure to communicate this will lead to a mismanagement of expectations, which can be dangerous if issues are allowed to drag, get ignored or be swept under the carpet. The gal has to remember that she’d have to take on certain leadership responsibilities as well.

I commenced the workshop with a deliberately tricky activity that proves two assumptions:

  1. The guy naturally knows and understands how to lead, how to be a(n ideal) leader and does not consider the gal for a leadership role in the relationship.
  2. The gal is naturally confused about her leadership responsibilities in a relationship, left leadership to the guy and is uncertain about her involvement, if any at all.

We defined courtship this way:

  • a continuous process,
  • a journey of empowering, enabling, supporting and understanding one another,
  • a two-way partnership, and
  • that it begins with marriage in mind.

We believe that leadership is about:

  • serving one another
  • taking responsibility for things already done
  • bringing out God’s best in each other
  • taking initiative for things that are yet to be done

I concluded the workshop with another activity that exposes the guys’ understanding of the gals’ needs and their understanding of their own needs, and vice-versa. With this, I introduced the five love languages (made famous by Gary Chapman) and stressed the importance of understanding the love languages of their partners.

I encouraged the participants to go on a paradigm shift with me:

When you know the need, you will know how to lead; only then will you be able to show one another how to love each other.

Finally, I presented a biblical yardstick for everyone to refer to, in any event of uncertainty:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, English Standard Version)

Disclaimer: the contents above are original and does not represent anyone else’s opinions except our own.

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