i love to be scolded, sort of.

“Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.” (Revelation 3:19)

“For the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.” (Proverbs 3:12)

“For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” (Hebrews 12:6)

“Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” (Proverbs 13:24)

For all the geniuses who read my blog, you’d have already picked up the key words of the passages above. (If you haven’t, I’ve highlighted it for you.) I’m talking about serious scolding, not meaningless teasing. It seems clear to me that discipline is connected to love and vice-versa. However, in this day and age (and especially during the age of growing up), youths may struggle to understand this crucial link. I think it’s because they associate discipline with demerit. I don’t blame them – who enjoys being scolded?

I, for one, grew up getting scolded by a lot of people, left, right and centre; I was always punished in school, rebuked in church, nagged at at home and corrected by friends. It was frustrating of course, and I never saw the beauty of this until many years later. It took maturity to see beyond the unpleasantness of discipline. I’m quietly confident to think the people who looked after me bothered to discipline me simply because they loved me.

It’s actually a logical conclusion if you come to think about it. My mother has told me before that it pains her more to cane me than it literally pains me. PL and RY, the father-role models in my life, also concur – that it indeed inflicts more pain to the discipliner than the disciplined; after all, who enjoys chastising their own flesh and blood? Any normal parent would say the same thing too. Yet, it is imperative to discipline. I think parents discipline their children because they care and want the best for them; you’d hardly find a parent who scolds his or her child for his or her own personal gain.

So the next time you are confronted by your pastor, mentor, leader or teacher, or reprimanded by your parents, or chided by your friends, to sort out a particular issue in your life, know that you are being scolded because of this wonderful element called love. However, not everyone is an expert in discipline and thus may choose the wrong method even though they may have the right intentions. So, sometimes you will struggle to see this (tough) love. But I’d like to encourage you to remain positive every time you are disciplined.

But can you imagine the day where people stop disciplining you? I think it signals the end for you it tells you that they have given up on you. I always believe that one of the saddest things that could ever happen to you is when others to accept your shortcomings as part of God’s unchangeable plan for your life; in order words, they have lost all hope that you could change for the better and have decided to just embrace you as you are, without any desire to correct you anymore.

“Hey, don’t bother about him; he’s always like that.”

“Eh, forget it. There’s no use talking to him because he won’t listen.”

“Ignore him – you’re wasting your time if you think he’ll change.”

These are some of the words I will never want to hear in my life; it’s far worse than being disciplined by harsh words.

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About Joey Asher Tan

Apart from Jesus, I can do nothing; I am absolutely nothing without Christ.

Posted on August 8, 2010, in A Walk To Remember, Affirming Faithfulness, Attempted Provocation, Forever Young, Heart Upon Sleeve, In Your Face, Quote & Unquote, Retrospective Reflections, Spontaneous Conversations, The Greatest Gift and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Hey Brother Joey
    i have sort of a same experience but not that bad, once my bro said he didnt want to talk to me anymore :” im not gonna care abt u anymore do anything u want ” it really broke my heart i rather get canned then hearing those words again but those days are gone :) hope u continue to post such meaningful blog post . Stay strong with GOD :)

    God Bless <3

    • hey darren, i’m an older brother myself so i’d like to think that when your brother said that, it was part of his plan to discipline you. (: i’m glad it has been resolved between the two of you nonetheless. i’m glad you’re reading my blog. you keep reading, i’ll keep writing. (:

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