Category Archives: Top Ten & Other Lists
Be it ABC or 123, this is a consolidation of every single list that appears on this blog.
12 things we hate about youth ministry.
I don’t normally cut and paste wholesale but this insightful article is a fantastic read. My dear young people, do remember to find pockets of time to get some rest and not burn yourself out with ministry demands. Let’s be excellent but let’s also think long-term! And above all else, remember to pray and enjoy the ride! I have so much on my plate but I am learning to take it a task and a day at a time, knowing that tomorrow has its own battles!
The full article is found here.
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12 things we hate about youth ministry
by Doug Fields & Matt McGill
Serving in youth ministry is great, but sometimes we allow our priorities to get mixed up and give it more than we should. When the needs of the ministry consume and devour our lives, and it results in no margin, no accountability, and no joy…it’s time to change things. Here are some of the warning signs, 12 things we hate about youth ministry:
- Fatigue can result in poor leadership decisions. This season, get some rest!
- The nagging feeling that we may have given up too early on that one high maintenance kid.
- Overload leads to taking short cuts and doing what’s easy rather than doing what is best (or right).
- Sometimes we’re tempted to skim in our spiritual lives since people really don’t know if we skip our personal devotions.
- We can take criticism personally and use it as a club to beat our self up.
- We believe the lie that our ministry is the most important one in the church. We become territorial and build high walls around youth ministry within the church.
- Insecurities and fears feed one another until they’re consuming. While cocooned, we rest on our laurels, refuse to take risks, and become satisfied with the way things are.
- Our drive to be faithful and grow the ministry can move us from honest persuasion to manipulation.
- We feel like unsung heroes, wallow in self pity, and then feel guilty for having a need to be affirmed.
- We get confused or indignant when other leaders seem to love the ministry as much as we do.
- We let success feed the self-deception that says, “I did this on my own power…or…I can do this on my own power.”
- The pressure to perform and please others distracts us from trusting God.
Christmas is a great time to step back and remember the important things in life: God’s love for us is unchanging, uncompromising, and unconditional. He loves our students more than we do and is working within to draw us closer.
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multiple reasons why I will not run another marathon.
There aren’t many places where I can think aloud and hence I shall use this platform to extract the many thoughts in my head after “A race like no other”. I don’t normally lament on my blog so this will be an honest evaluation of myself for myself. Do bear with it; I’ve learnt so much from this race.
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The good.
This was officially my worst run ever – in every sense of the word – be it the poor timing or post-run physical condition. I’m immobilised (oh, have mercy on my left knee!) as I write this entry and I’m experiencing a facial breakout as expected. Nonetheless, I thank God that I do not have a fever like I did in 2006.
Unlike 2006, where I was extremely determined to finish it, I had nearly wanted to throw in the towel this year. At 9:30am, I thought to myself – how in the world was I going to crawl at this deathly pace for another 4 hours? 2010 was undoubtedly a lot more mental than 2006; finishing it was my only objective.
Strangely enough, even though 2006 was a greater performance, I felt that 2010’s run was by far a greater accomplishment. My finishing time had worsened by nearly two hours – TWO HOURS(!) – that’s a massive deterioration! Yet the sense of satisfaction doubled. However, I don’t plan to accomplish it again.
Frankly, I tried a lot harder this year than in 2006. Each attempt to restart running ended up in failure within 100m. Relentless cramps, low energy resources and an absence of Tiger Balm remedies resulted in over 10 failed restarts; each successive resumption made the subsequent one even more demoralising.
Running with someone with a similar fitness level makes a big difference. In 2006, Adrian and I endured and encouraged each other until the end. This year, I told Kun Jie and Bradley to proceed without me since they could go much faster. I was on my own from the 15th km and that was disheartening.
I’ve never felt so horrible walking; if there was only one wish I could make, it’d simply be to be able to run. I’d rather 长痛不如短痛 anytime. This served as a reminder that I must carry on moving even when I stumble or even when my walk becomes a crawl; a small step forward is still one step forward.
The bad.
I could always have trained a little more but no amount of training would prepare you to deal with cramps. I ran at a steady pace up to the 18th km (and I didn’t stop at all). But when multiple leg cramps hit my body – the excruciating painful kind of cramps – I knew my race was over.
In 2006, there were ample stations distributing energy fluids and muscle rub. The absence of it this year caught me by surprise. I was desperately in search of deep-heat cream to relieve my cramp, which got so throbbing at one point I had to stop. And even at that, I struggled to stretch for the pain left me frozen.
Juxtaposing 2010 and 2006, there was a significant drop of runners carrying a Christian message at the back of their singlet; it was something I had looked forward to – making conversation with people. Either these runners were way ahead of me, or that no one put Scripture on their back.
Age is a significant factor – especially in recovery phase. While it may only be four years apart, I felt four times worse this year than in 2006. I remember telling Huiyi how disappointed I felt after this run; by athletic or achievable measurement, I was left chagrined by my performance, or the lack of.
The 14km at East Coast Park was and always will be the most mentally torturous leg of the race. At the 14th/28th km Fort Road entrance/exit, you will runners entering and leaving the park. I think this was the most challenging phase because it felt like I was returning to square-one without progress.
Two things kept plaguing my mind. I pinned a yellow number tag (for runners aimed to run below 6 hours; a natural decision since I clocked 5.5hours in 2006) in front and an encouragement note behind. This backfired for my optimism on both front and back labels became my vehicle for self-consciousness.
The ugly.
My poor timing resulted in many things after the run. Firstly, I am thoroughly sunburnt. In 2006, I finished at around 11am but this year, I had to endure the midday scorching sun and now the mirror reveals the sunglass and singlet tan lines. I am truly and literally Joey Asher TAN.
I felt that the route-planning for 2010 was a disappointing anti-climax too, with considerable media spotlight; the uphill climb (on the Benjamin Sheares Bridge) at the end of the race decimated many runners; squeezing us dry on the home-run wasn’t uplifting and it just didn’t make sense to me.
There’s a limit to pep-talks from uncles. “Young man, you can give some more”, was what he cried each time he ran past me. At first, it fired me up and I found that extra energy to pick up my pace. But at the third time, with multiple cramps to deal with, all I wanted to do was to ask him to shut up.
Secondly, though there were thousands who completed after me, the thousands who completed before me meant that there were no more M-sized finisher T-shirts. I returned home with an XL pajamas which I obviously will not wear. What an apt (and ironic) conclusion to a sadly forgettable race.
Lastly, I’m convinced that marathons are organised for those complete within 6 hours. At the 38th km, water points had disappeared, medical teams were packing up and volunteers were either having lunch or dozing off – not a motivating sight at all, but they are not to blame. I can only examine myself.
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I remember telling Bradley at the start of the run, that if I were to run another marathon, it’d be either as a mascot or with my kids. I have done it for them for I want to collect stories to inspire my children; I’ve twice-accomplished one of life’s to-do’s and I shall have the wisdom to declare that that’s enough. I’ve proven my physical and mental mettle and I will always be able to brag about these two achievements to my grandchildren. Pain is temporary but pride is forever. “Ya, you look at Gong-Gong’s belly and may not believe it, but Gong-Gong has run two marathons before.” No one can take that away from me.
I honestly doubt that I would be able to find motivation to train for such a distance again. In fact, when Huiyi picked me up from Raffles City (thank you, dear), I told her I would not run beyond 10km ever again because it doesn’t justify the physical aftermath. This novelty has now been attained and is officially over. I shall move on now in life and look for other challenges to accomplish. I’ve learnt so much about myself and about the journey of life in running these two marathons and these experiences will forever remain embedded in my mind. For all it’s worth, I shall close the chapter on running extreme distances.
- Two is better than one.
Edit at 23:59! Next year, I might just join the Ekiden race instead! Perfect substitute for the 42km. Six is better than one. HAHA! (:
december: a month to thank God for.
As my ears bleed from a terrible rendition of Nobody But You belted out by the Getai singer and annoying overenthusiastic emcees who try to rouse an apathetic audience, I can’t help but to smile at God’s sense of humour. So what if I’ve gotten everything ready for later – shoes, socks, tag, singlet, watch, shades, bread, banana, isotonic – and I’m ready to sleep at an unheard-of 9pm to wake up 7 hours later to run my second 42km. There was nothing that I could do to prevent a town council dinner from taking place right below my house. I can only chuckle at the unpredictability of life and thank God that He’s in it all.
This December is more intense than the previous years. However, there’s so much to thank God for:
- 15 intense days of school (with accompanying assignments), from 29 Nov – 13 Dec; I thank God for committed group mates and good lecturers.
- 4 days of Rhema conference (where I’m overseeing 7 vastly different services), from 12 – 15 Dec; I thank God for a thoroughly creative experience.
- A sermon to deliver on the weekend of 18-19 Dec; I thank God for many preaching opportunities this year and for my growth in this area.
- A REAL reunion with my beloved REAL champs on 20 Dec; I thank God for this bunch of youths who will always have a special place in my heart.
- A good break in Bintan to look forward to on 21-23 Dec; I thank God that I’m celebrating 3 years of God’s grace with my beloved girlfriend, Huiyi.
- A Christmas celebration at Jadene’s house on 24 Dec; I thank God for a wonderful group of colleagues who have been such blessings in my journey.
- A maiden baptism experience to anticipate on 25 Dec; I thank God for the privilege to baptise the youths whom He has given me to pastor.
- 4 days of REAL lock-in camp (where I’ll take on the role of Commandant), from 27-30 Dec; I thank God for sending me youths to disciple and train.
- 2 days of Leaders’ Retreat (where I’ll share my heartbeat and vision with the R-AGE @ GII Leaders!), from 30-31 Dec; I thank God for new leaders.
- And to conclude the month, I’ll be performing a song during Watchnight Service on 31 Dec; I thank God for 2010 and I look forward to 2011.
- And REAL 2011 begins 3 days later on 3 Jan (thank God I’ve already prepared everything!); before I know it, I’ll be marching on to March already.
For now, I have a marathon to run at 5am and a leaders’ meeting to chair on the same evening; I can’t wait to meet some of my favouritest people in this world! I apologise for the lack of updates and infrequent writing; I wish I had more time to think and write too, for a thought ceases to exist until it has been penned down. Do cover me in your prayers, my friends. I’ll leave you with the back of my running singlet; I hope it spurs you on, my fellow runners in this marathon of life – may we all run to win an eternal prize (1 Corinthians 9:24-25)!
top ten motivations behind the insane marathon decision.
In the past few weeks, I’ve already clocked 5km, 10km and 15km in the build-up to my second full marathon. I’m supposed to clock 20km next Monday but there’s a part of me (read: knees) that feels it isn’t really a good idea and that I ought to just stop at the 15km mark. Although it’s been physically demanding, I’ve enjoyed getting myself into shape and just sweating it out.
When I was younger (and a lot fitter), I used to speak in tongues, worship and pray during my runs (and I must say I went at a much faster pace!). But these days, I have to focus all the remnants of energy on catching my breath! I do look forward to communicating with God this way again once my physical stamina improves. For those of you live in the Ghim Moh/Holland Road vicinity, you can consider embarking on these running routes which I have created.
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5.3km – 31m 37s.
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10.4km – 57m 59s.
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15.1km – 1h 36m 20s.
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Scheduled for 15 Nov.
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Scheduled for 22 Nov.
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Now, no one in the right frame of mind and wrong frame of fitness will sign up for a marathon; I have no idea what possessed me when I registered for it this year. So, in my attempt at self-consolation, here are ten reasons why I’ve bordered on insanity, again.
Before the marathon
1. Forces me to exercise regularly so that I don’t collapse during the marathon; this should make me more disciplined and of course, fitter!
2. Bonding together with fellow runners who’ve also signed up for the marathon; this hasn’t happened yet, but I’m pretty sure it will.
3. Makes me watch my dietary habits; I’ve eaten too much (rubbish) and it has really perpetuated ill-health.
During the marathon
4. I can’t wait to design a runner’s tag that will bring glory to Jesus!
5. I can’t wait to run with this tag that will bring glory to Jesus!
6. I can’t wait to encourage others who are also running to bring glory to Jesus!
7. I really enjoy the camaraderie in running in cadence and to motivate and be motivated by fellow runners.
After the marathon
8. Bragging rights! I’m going to wear the finisher shirt with so much pride; I think it’ll be an achievement to have run two marathons!
9. Storing stories for my grandchildren – “Do you know Gong-Gong ran two marathons before?” – and watch their completely unconvinced facial expression as they try to reconcile it with the sight of my big belly.
10. Motivation (and madness) to sign up (again) for the 2012 marathon at a discounted price!
Well, regardless of whether you’ve signed up or not, I’d be delighted to have you join me for a run whenever our schedules are able to coincide. Holler then!
happy first year anniversary.
Tonight marks the completion of my first year as a full-time minister in R-AGE and Grace AG. Three questions have dominated my heart in the last 24 hours.
- How have I contributed?
- What legacy have I left behind?
- Who have I become?
I am still in deep thought over these three questions. Actually, I have surprised myself by not asking, “What have I accomplished?”. I’d like to believe that it’s a sign of growth and maturity. I remember again tonight, that the Great Commission is not an assignment from God but an alignment to God.
Many things have also come to pass in the last 365 days. I’ve decided to exercise introspection tonight to perhaps, attempt to recall three ministry highlights.
- Directing REAL 2010 and investing into my champions
- Leading R-AGE @ GII and mentoring my shepherds
- The privilege of the pulpit and growing in my preaching
There were many other moments which were hard to leave out – like the unforgettable PIERCE – but my choices were made based on what I wouldn’t and couldn’t have been able to do if I didn’t come into full-time ministry. It all began with a simple act of obedience – which is the highest expression of stewardship – to answer the calling that had brewed in my heart since I was a teenager.
God has been marvelously good and gracious to me. And so I would also like to remember His many blessings in the past year. The three events have affected and reminded most me of His everlasting faithfulness in my life.
- Purchase of Dawson, for it catalysed my breakthrough with HY’s parents
- Providence of mentors – from Peter Chao to Benny Ho to Edmund Chan
- Potential of joeyasher.com, for through this blog, I’ve gained access into people’s lives
Looking back at the year that has passed also allows me to look forward to the year that is to come. 2011 looks next to be one of the most eventful years of my life. Amongst many new events that will be added over time, here are three that I look forward to the most. May God will these to happen in His time and way.
- Marrying and sharing my life with HY
- Embarking on various mentoring journeys
- Growing the youth ministry and as a youth minister
But above all else, I desire most to:
- Love God more
- Love God’s Word more
- Love God’s people more
So tonight, I do not celebrate a year of my forgettable achievements but a year of His unforgettable grace. And with that confidence at the forefront of my mind, I can’t help but to await the next 365 days as a youth minister in R-AGE with a great sense of hope, anticipation and excitement. I put my faith in a big God
Not my will, but Yours be done, O Lord. Thank You for Your favour, grace, mercy and loving-kindness. I love You Jesus, deep down in my heart.
for the sake of my young people, and my own children.
I’ve served the Lord in church since I was 14 years old. From being a young backup vocalist, I was privileged enough to serve in leadership capacities as I got older, be it leading worship, a cell group, events or a sports team. I praise God that I’ve grown in my capabilities, capacities, competencies, and matured in my character. But most importantly, I’m grateful for my journey towards Christlikeness. Not that I’m already there or even close to – but who is, in this lifelong journey?
I will border on being judgmental in this post but I hope you will see my heart in this. Not to judge but to warn; not to condemn but to remind. So I have decided to come out to say it anyway… After all, I’ve always been outspoken such matters.
One of the things that irk me most about ministry are leaders who serve for the wrong reasons. I think that leadership, especially higher-profile roles like cell or worship leaders, have become incredibly glamourised by the deceptive standards of this world. It’s as if our expectations of leadership in church have secularised; you’ve “arrived” if you hold a particular leadership position.
That’s absolute nonsense.
Everyone plays a different role in the body of Christ. There’s a higher and lower profile of course, but there isn’t a greater or lesser significance. Many times, I’ve shaken my head in disappointment (and disgust!) at leaders who desire leadership for the sake of glamour and popularity that leadership positions inevitably brings. Honestly, these leaders are short-changing themselves. But more dangerously, they are short-changing the ones who follow them.
Leadership is not a place you’ve arrived at. Instead, it is a time you will be activated in. Leadership is not a destination but a decision. Here’s a stern warning to all leaders and leaders-to-be, especially those whom I have the privilege of leading in R-AGE @ GII – don’t you ever lead because of how it would make you feel; I would make it my personal crusade to clamp down on this undesirable and unbiblical behaviour. Instead, you lead because you want to serve and love people. I will fiercely guard against this destructive attitude.
An immediate question that I think you will ask is – “How then would I know if I am leading with the right motives?”
So I shall attempt to give a yardstick based on my leadership journey.
A couple of days ago, I posted this on Facebook – “If you wish to lead them, feed them or serve them… You must first KNOW them. Otherwise, what’s the point?” I shall base my argument on this simple barometer – how well do you know the ones whom you are serving and leading? No, I’m not talking about knowing their favourite colour, food, hang-out or TV programme… I’m referring to how well you know and understand their spiritual condition. Amongst many other prying questions, you should ask yourself just these 10:
- Do you know their strengths and weaknesses?
- Do you know their greatest cause of sin?
- Do you know their immediate prayer requests?
- Do you know their felt needs and meet it?
- Do you know their last spiritual breakthrough?
- Do you know their family background and upbringing?
- Do you know their greatest fears and insecurities?
- Do you know how they came to know Christ?
- Do you know if they are responding to the Word?
- Do you know if they even trust you enough to share openly with you?
These are point-blank yes-or-no questions. If you can’t even attain a passing score, then may I lovingly beseech you to reevaluate your role as their leader and your involvement in their lives? This is especially important especially if you’re looking after a group of people – like a worship team, a cell group, or even a group of leaders. And since I am a youth minister, I am making impassioned plea to leaders who look after young people. Take care of these precious ones! Don’t ever, EVER, forget that you will shape their beliefs system!
Honestly, I don’t care which ministry you serve in, which church you attend, how old you are or how long you’ve served as a leader. As long if you’re serving in a ministry, then you are, by default, in the business of people. If you don’t know your people well, how will you deal with them? If you don’t put in effort to get involved in their lives, how will you ever become effective and influential among them?
If I may be frank, above and beyond human competencies and God’s anointing, I’ve always believed that I was a tad bit more effective in all my leadership roles not because of talent, experience or charisma, but simply because I knew my sheep. It was always an intentional effort to get to know them.
When I led worship, I looked into the eyes of my young people and it was as if I knew what their struggles were.
When I preached the Word, I knew exactly who or which type of people I wrote a particular point for, and always attempted to speak into their hearts.
When I taught in cell groups or workshops, I prayerfully prepared my content based on the needs I’ve observed in people.
And when I casted a vision for the ministry, I planned based on the different needs I have come to know through intentional interaction with them.
My friend, all this takes time and effort! It won’t and it can’t happen overnight. You can be a charismatic leader but if you have no care for your sheep, your effectiveness will plateau after a while. You can be cognitively competent, but if you don’t intercede for your sheep, you will merely engage their mind (and heart at best!) but you will never be able to affect their will and spirit. It is time we scrutinised our investments in our people!
People of God – yes, you leaders! – don’t be contented with scratching surfaces. Don’t cheat yourself. And don’t cheat your sheep. Don’t be satisfied with mere involvement. Move into commitment! Invest your time and energy in the people whom God has given to you to shepherd. Don’t patronise your sheep – you will end up raising a superficial generation of believers who will surpass your level of superficiality and become even more superficial than you ever will be. What a hazardous inheritance to pass on!
Is that the church you want your children to grow up in? If it isn’t, then you should do something about it. I know I definitely do not want my kids to roam around in a church like that and so I am doing something about it. What about you? This isn’t just my church, you know? It’s YOUR church, but it’s not for you, if you know what I mean. Get to know your sheep.
If you don’t know who you are leading, may I urge you then – no, may I beg you instead – to make intentional efforts to step out of your comfort zone to get to know your people. Otherwise, there is little point in you leading them. Don’t boss them around. Don’t delegate your role as a minister. There are some things that cannot be compromised or substituted. For the sake of my young people, and my own children in time to come, please do not consider leadership if you are not interested in building and investing into people.
This is my heart’s cry for you. Don’t become a leader by default but by decision. And don’t become a leader of position but a leader of people.
yet another centenary to celebrate.
Last week, this blog crossed its 20,000th readership mark – an achievement I am honestly thankful for because it gives me acknowledgement and affirmation as a aspiring author-to-be.
It’s been a wonderful journey for me as a writer. Amongst the many benefits I’ve experienced, I am thankful for how I’ve gained access into people’s lives and how God has used me to minister to strangers and acquaintances alike. But above all, I’ve enjoyed writing in and of itself (just as I trust that you have enjoyed reading what I have written); to be able to put into words the things in my head and heart – I see that as God’s free gift to me (1 Corinthians 4:7), and even the enjoyment of this gift is a gift in itself (1 Peter 4:11)! Writing truly disciplines my mind and forces it to frame thoughts into understandable words in a systematic and concise manner that all can relate to and with.
The last few entries have been heavy stuff – both in length and content. So for this 201st entry, I shall attempt to keep it light.
One of the many things I find useful about WordPress is its “Blog Stats”; It gives me a quick and (if I want a) detailed overview of how people navigate into, within and out of my blog. I thought it’d be interesting to share that piece of trivia, now that I’ve generated a considerable amount of original content on what started out to just be an open journal where I store my thoughts and share my testimony; I praise God for this for He has certainly multiplied my three loaves and one fish beyond my imagination.
Hence, 2,400 tags later, kindly allow me to present the all-time top five in four different categories:
Referrers | Views – This is how the traffic rolls in.
- facebook.com | 418
- sweetestgoodbyeee.wordpress.com | 118
- thefuneralmasqueradeforlove.blogspot.com | 113
- theupperroomdiaries.wordpress.com | 105
- morethanwordscansay.wordpress.com | 84
Search Terms | Views – This is what people google to get here.
- joey asher tan | 138
- joey asher | 55
- signs of insecurity | 40
- is it possible to dream within a dream | 35
- misunderstoodsunshinekid | 25
Clicks | Views – This is what people click on when they’re here.
- krystalite.wordpress.com | 758
- fortunecookieman.blogspot.com | 359
- theupperroomdiaries.wordpress.com | 354
- onthemark2046.blogspot.com | 347
- rachaeljewel.wordpress.com | 334
Top Posts | Views – These are the entries with the most views.
- is heavy metal music really satanic? | 223
- understanding your personality temperament. | 201
- a dream within a dream – is that possible? | 192
- announcement! change of address in 2016! | 184
- full-time calling. | 171
It is my desire that my humble little space on the world wide web fulfills what Paul attempted to accomplish in 1 Corinthians 10:33; I want to play my role in the theatre of redemption so may the next 100 entries and beyond be written with the intention and hope that one day it will benefit many more so that they may see Jesus and be saved!
“… just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved.”
joey asher | misunderstoodsunshinekid 