Category Archives: A Walk To Remember
Life is a journey that never ends; let’s take a trip into my history to reminisce the (good) ol’ days.
XXIV. the music that changed the mood.
This Garage-Band-mixed-MP3 was part of my arsenal of logistics on the actual day. I also brought along my iPod Nano, and had lined up four other significant 五月天 songs before this original composition played as the fifth song on the playlist.
I had to ensure that the entire playlist took around 20 minutes to play from start to finish. I will explain why later. I chose songs that represented different phases of our courtship. These were the songs I selected in sequential order:
- 我又初恋了
- 倔强
- 最重要的小事
- 让我照顾你 (by 阿信)
- 让我照顾你 (by 阿舍)
I remember taking out three blindfolds, charging all the gadgets that I needed for the day, packing the all-important ring, earphones and a change of clothes for the evening. I said my bedtime prayers and told the Lord that I’ve done that I possibly could. I guess I could say that I prepared ‘til my maximum, but I think it’s fair to say that I’ve prepared ‘til my optimum. Now I depend on His grace to see me through.
Yes, I think I am finally ready to write about how Friday transpired!
Next chapter: the actual visit to USS.
XXIII. the most romantic amateur Chinese song.
Here are the two stanzas that I was inspired to re-write… It’s only my second attempt at writing a Chinese song so do pardon my amateurishness. Google Translator was my buddy during this song-writing exercise. I tried to think and write like 阿信 (Ashin, lead singer of 五月天) but I had to make do with being 阿舍 (Asher, erm, me) instead. This was what I came up with…
走遍整世界 尝全美食 天堂 在你身边
渴望的晚餐 你熬的菠菜汤
心碎了流泪 我抱着你 答应 我非不变
每一分每妙 分享捷与悲
~
争取了学位 烂歌俳句 为你 写多一些
当你的超人 内裤穿在头上
萎缩的结局 馒头白发 梦想 十个孩子
牵着你皱手 我生命目标
The rest of the song (click here for its translation), written by the brilliant 阿信, goes like this:
昨天谁让你 受过伤 今天想要让你 都遗忘
是你 爱你让我变的更强 为你战斗永不投降
让我照顾你 我要让雨停出太阳
我超越我自己的想像 风雨刀枪能为你挡
让我照顾你 让你未来放在我肩上
~
如果这一生 到尽头 换你的这句话 很足够
是你 爱你让我变的更强 为你战斗永不投降
让我照顾你 我要让雨停出太阳
我超越我自己的想像 风雨刀枪能为你挡
让我照顾你 让你失去生命也辉煌
The two stanzas were loosely based on a poem that I’ve written for her a couple of weeks ago (for the purpose of the proposal), which I would recite just before I asked her to marry me. For those whose Mandarin is equally as atrocious as mine, here’s a rough English translation of what I’ve written above:
I’ve travelled the world and tasted all kinds of cuisines
But my paradise is to be beside you
My favourite dinner and the dish I crave for the most
Is still the spinach broth that you cook
When your heart breaks or when your tears fall,
I’ll hold you in my arms and promise I will never change
I want to experience every minute and second with you,
And share every trophy and tragedy together
~
I’d earn another degree, compose another song and write another haiku,
All and only for you
I want to be your superman forever
Even if it means wearing my underwear as my helmet
My body will shrivel and your head will burst with white hair
As I daydream about our ten children
To be able to hold your wrinkled hand when we’re old and gray,
That is the goal of my life
On a side note, it’s amazing how the Chinese language is so much more efficient yet so much more elaborate than the English language. I used words that I didn’t even know the pinyin to (and so I had to learn how to pronounce it)!
Next chapter: the music that changed the mood.
XXII. the time to face the music.
Tay Jnr recorded me within a night and produced the track within a day.
The song that defined our relationship thus far (and our would-be proposal) was 让我照顾你 by 五月天. I rewrote the verses to contextualise it into our relationship and spent an evening recording it at Johann’s place. I spent a week rehearsing the song on my guitar, after I spent an evening learning how to play it on the guitar from Joel. I don’t play the guitar regularly so my tender finger tips were on the verge of splitting due to a week of unfamiliar overuse.
During recording, I actually forgot to bring the lyrics and chords that Joel taught me. Johann intervened!
I am an ambitious sanguine and the original idea was to get Joel to teach me how to play the song on the piano. The plan was to perform the song on the piano and sing it live to her. It was a double-challenge with a difficulty that was magnified four times over.
Firstly, I can barely bang chords on the piano. Secondly, I’m a typical ACS boy and typical ACS boys do not sing Chinese songs. Thirdly, I had to do play the piano and sing the chinese song simultaneously while composing myself in public. Fourthly, I gave myself only a week to master this. And finally, unlike an acoustic guitar that uses battery power, a portable keyboard required a power outlet for it to produce sound.
Tay Snr availed himself and advised wisdom and pragmatism.
Basically, it only seemed like a sound decision (no pun intended) to do something a lot more achievable – play the guitar and sing. It was actually Joel’s wisdom that helped me make this decision. He lovingly cautioned, “Joe, if you really want to play the piano and sing this song to her, I will do everything I can to help you succeed. But don’t you want to be able to look her in the eye and sing those lyrics to her instead of focussing on the next piano keys to play?”
So I heeded his advice and reverted to my tried and tested Cort.
Next chapter: the most romantic amateur Chinese song.
XXI. the one regrettable conflict.
I'm so glad Cheryl's (still!) going to be our wedding planner. Thank you!
Suffice to say, planning an event of this magnitude would inevitably bring about tension felt and tempers flared. And I’m no angel. I have a foul temper (that only the closest friends experience) and unfortunately, Cheryl faced the brunt of it. I regret my outburst until this day. But on hindsight, the conflict we had served to strengthen our friendship so much more.
She was that one person I knew I could count on and she played a dual role in this proposal. Firstly, she was my quality-controller; I ran almost all my plans through her – from the many overarching ideas down to the colour of the tidbit jar. I didn’t need her to make decisions for me, but the best way for me to think and decide was to have someone to talk me through my thoughts as I verbalised them. She played this pivotal role and she was superb in every role that I needed her to play.
But she dropped a huge bombshell on me. She could neither make it for the proposal nor the engagement party because it was Founder’s Day for her school and as a teacher (and someone in the organising committee), there was no way she could have, as much as she desired to, miss an annual event for an event of a lifetime. Ironic, but true. And we were both gutted by it.
However, I didn’t express my disappointment properly and ended up flaring up at her for not being able to turn up. My reaction was uncharacteristically petty, completely unreasonable, unnecessarily dramatised and certainly regrettable. I was shocked at some of the expressions I used to describe my disappointment at her impending absence.
I didn’t throw abusive language at her of course, but the content of my message was definitely abrasive and there was no reason for me to behave in that manner. It was unbecoming from a youth pastor and her ministry leader, of all people. And I was ashamed of how I had conducted myself.
And all this was in light of her creating the entire guestbook for me… It was an amazing effort, really, and I appreciate it so much more because I’m terrible with arts and crafts. She had skipped her a Bible Study Fellowship session to pick out the best set for me, spent many hours putting it together, as well as put up with my idiosyncrasies and demands.
After I came to my senses, I apologised to her profusely. But the damage was already done and there was a lot I had to do to repair the cracks in the friendship I introduced. I asked her for her grace and forgiveness, and to give me an opportunity to win her trust again. Well, I shall leave out details of our conflict… And of course, I wouldn’t have mentioned this unless we had already reconciled… Today, our friendship today is stronger than ever.
I’ve decided to include this episode in my proposal story because I wanted to state that planning for this engagement wasn’t just physically demanding, but it also took a toll on me emotionally. I stepped on some toes along the way, and I am sure that I may step on a few more as I plan for the wedding next August. But I have learnt my lesson – people are more important than events, even if that event is of extreme significance. I shall carry that into the next year.
The other reason I’ve included this anecdote was to highlight the strength of Christian fellowship. And Cheryl epitomised it for me. In fact, everyone who was involved in my proposal in big and small ways, are examples of how precious Christian fellowship is. It tested the solidity of my friendship and while I failed the test, I passed the exam by the grace of God.
Next chapter: the time to face the music.
XX. the one mad week of errands.
Preparing for this elaborate proposal required a number of props, and since it was my proposal, I wanted to accomplish most of it by myself as much as possible. I sought help of course, on matters that I didn’t consider myself familiar with.
I approached Hilary to ask him to recommend a professional printer. I liaised with a printing company and paid for five A2 and three A3 full colour prints on PP sticker with a five millimetre kappaline mounting. And I made my way to the obscure Kallang Bahru on Wednesday to pick up the prints, since delivery wasn’t worth it for such a small quantity. I took leave on Thursday to complete the remaining errands. I had no idea printing these things were so costly…
I started my day at IMM where I spent an unimaginably long time in Daiso and Giant, picking out tiny plastic bags for goodie bags (so that everyone who turned up at the party took home something), a magic chalkboard as a prop for photo-taking, seven glass cookie jars to store sweets, five luminous paint markers, and a whole stack of tidbits.
It was there and then that I discovered that I have decidophobia (no kidding!). I became unexpectedly stressed at having to choose from the huge variety that was available to me. I even made distress calls to Cheryl, Melody, Yixian and Keith because I started to panic so much. Cheryl and Keith were amused by it but realised shortly that I was seriously distressed, so they patiently walked me through every decision that I had to make at those supermarkets. It was the most stressful errand, ever!
Besides helping me to record the song, Johann was also generous enough to restore my guitar to showroom condition, including drying, cleaning and dressing it with a new set of strings. Having my guitar restored was also helpful for my worship set at J333 (the Wednesday prayer meeting) anyway.
But as you would know by now, it seems like I never get to do things the easy way… The E-string snapped during soundcheck and I was frustrated, not because I had to use an inferior guitar, but because I had to buy a new string! So I swung by the Clementi Yamaha and to my horror they ran out of E-strings. But fret not (no pun intended!) for I simply purchased a new set of strings.
After Clementi, I made my way to Holland Village to make orders and pay for eight tubs of ice-cream at The Daily Scoop and arranged with Wei Kurk to help me pick it up on Friday, before the engagement party. I also swung by Party City to order enough helium-filled balloons to fill the function room. It was my first time ordering balloons and I got shocked at how expensive these items were considering they only had an eight-hour lifespan! I paid for it nonetheless and arranged with Xianyi to receive the balloons at the function room on Friday evening.
My last stop was back to the office at Tanglin Road, where I dumped the loot and packed them into plastic bags, with labels on each of them for my crew to pick up; Gideon picked up the guitar, guitar stand, projector and placards, while Keith picked up the logistics needed for the engagement party.
Oh, did I mention that it was pouring this entire time and that I didn’t have an umbrella? Okay, I just did. And I accomplished all these errands without a car. Yes, I had to make do with public transport the entire time, carrying with me big and small, heavy and bulky plastic bags. And I completed all these errands just in time to meet Huiyi at her office to head for her birthday dinner together with her family. Perhaps this justifies why I forgot to buy her birthday cake that day.
Next chapter: the one regrettable conflict.
XIX. the inception – the surprise within a surprise.
Planning a surprise proposal itself was enough to keep me busy. But I am a sanguine. And I am over-the-top. So I decided to also plan a surprise engagement cum birthday party for her.
Yes, the proposal itself was a private affair where she had all the time and space in the world to enjoy the moment. But I was sure she also wanted to celebrate this moment with close friends. Besides, it was also her birthday. So it made complete sense for me to throw a party immediately after she became my fiancée. Yes, I am justifying my decision, but it proved to be well worth the extra effort.
Hence, I made numerous phone calls to establishments like The Coffee Connoisseur (TCC) @ KBM, Simply Shiok @ One North, The Daily Scoop @ Holland Village and Haato @ Greenridge Close to enquire about holding the party there. TCC instantly priced themselves out of my consideration (and I wasn’t impressed with their service inflexibility too).
Simply Shiok had space constraints but the owner, Gladys, was kind enough to offer to rent the adjacent restaurant to create more seating capacity. I thanked Gladys for her effort but decided to turn her down because the cost didn’t justify the result.
Wei Kurk attempted to help me pull strings with the owner of Daily Scoop (they were former school mates). But we didn’t order enough ice-cream to qualify as bulk purchase so instead of dining in, I placed an order for eight tubs of ice-cream instead. Much to the dismay of my guests (but to my absolute amusement), I picked out four unique flavours and four even more unique flavours. I didn’t understand why people couldn’t appreciate flavours like Gingerella or Salted Mr Brown… But I digress.
Haato was another one who proved to be inflexible with their services. They refused to let me book the entire premise (even after their peak hour during dinner) unless I could guarantee minimum orders per customer. I wasn’t impressed and I wanted to rebel by getting my guests to clome the restaurant group by group and take over all the tables one by one. But I decided against it and ended up canceling my reservation.
Let me sidetrack here. If you are reading this and you own a café or restaurant, do yourself a favour and HELP THE MAN who wants to hold his engagement party at your place! Come on, he’s about to bring 40 people to your restaurant to create a positive memory there for everyone in attendance. It makes complete commercial, marketing and economic sense for you to host his party. Don’t you get it!?
I ended up throwing out the idea of holding the party outside and decided to scale it down instead. I asked Xianyi to help me book his condominium’s function room instead (which was more affordable anyway) and I decided to DIY this engagement party; I’d buy my own food, beverages, desserts, decorations and set my own theme for it. I was sure I could have done a much better job at throwing a party than those so-called food and beverage experts. Most of them didn’t leave me with any food for thought.
Three-quarters of those who were waiting in ambush...
Next chapter: the one mad week of errands.
XVIII. the birthday that nearly ruined the proposal.
There weren’t many people who knew about the proposal. I wisely decided to keep it from her parents because I wasn’t confident that they could contain their own excitement and keep this secret from her, but I chose to confide in her brother, Xianyi, instead.
The reason why we couldn’t visit USS on Thursday was that we celebrated her birthday with her family on that evening. And the reason we deliberated for a week was that she was trying to arrange for an evening where her parents, brother and his girlfriend, as well as both of us were all available.
It was so trying that she had nearly wanted cancel the family dinner. And Xianyi, another unsung hero in this story, couldn’t intervene as much because he was supposed to help me keep it a secret. He skipped a school lesson to ensure that he was available on that Thursday evening for the family dinner, and missed a birthday (or farewell) party on Friday evening to ensure that his parents were home. More on that later but know that these are important pieces of information.
Normally, a boyfriend would pay special attention to his girlfriend’s birthday. But this dinner was so low-key to the extent that I forgot to buy a birthday cake on Thursday and had to trouble Xianyi to do it for me instead. My mind was focussed on one thing only – the proposal. I was surprised that Huiyi didn’t suspect anything from my lack of preparation for this birthday dinner.
Anyway, we celebrated Huiyi’s birthday on Thursday with her family at Peony Jade and this left Friday cleared for us to spend the day at Sentosa, as well as to have a private birthday dinner at Privé. Initially she wanted to dine at Lawry’s (and I had already made reservations for two) but I convinced her that Privé would be a better choice, simply because of location.
“Wouldn’t it be nice to have dinner by Keppel Bay Marina? I read reviews on hungrygowhere.com and apparently Privé’s got quite good ratings. Shall we try a new restaurant?”
Once again, she nodded and even told me that she had been to KBM a few times with her colleagues. I played along and told her, “Cool, then you can bring me around after dinner since you know the place better than I do.”
Now by this time, you might have realised that the original proposal plan had modified significantly, because she decided to take leave on her birthday to spend a day at USS together with me.
The original plan was to propose at MBC, then head to Lawry’s for dinner. But I had to throw that idea away, as well as the office surprise by her girlfriends. Why? Well, she wasn’t going to be at work that day! A major modification, but it was still fundamentally the same idea.
(I couldn’t get) Sunset by the (beach, so instead I got sunset by the) bay – check. I was good to go.
Next chapter: the inception – the surprise within a surprise.
joey asher | misunderstoodsunshinekid 