reflecting the future.
I’ll say this very loosely and irresponsibly; I am convinced that our behaviour today should give us an indication of our behaviour in the future. Of course, we all desire and hope that we will mature and grow beyond our weaknesses, and perhaps with wisdom and more experience we’ll see improvements.
My mentor PL once told me, after witnessing for himself my poor reaction to a family situation around five years ago:
“Joey, remember that whatever you are capable of doing to your family now, you will likely do it to your family in the future.”
That completely snapped me into place. And I’ve held those golden words dear to my heart ever since.
I’ve always seen myself as a family person; as my colleague and buddy in Shanghai SS would put it, “Joey is 26 (then) going 40”. He found it astonishing that a bachelor in the prime of his career in the wine industry, would have little or no affinity for partying, drinking, gambling, smoking or womanising (the vices, basically). Instead, he was (pleasantly) surprised (I hope!) that I found enjoyment in chilling out over coffee or hanging out at a friend’s place, engaging in a meaningful conversation and a hearty laugh. There’s a part of me that simply can’t wait to hang out with my own family nucleus in the future – playing with my kids, dancing with my wife and loitering in my house.
When RY came over to my place today, he said the same thing, “Joey, I notice you seem to… How do I put it… Have a thing about building a family, wherever you’re at”. I thought about it for a split minute and realised that his observation hit the nail on its head. I enjoyed building a family unit when I was with the Archer Company Tank Platoon, Wine Mall Marketing Team, Precious Thirds, TeamR-AGE and now, a work-in-progress, DoYouLoveMe. I’d like to think that this is a positive quality and it has to be God who ingrained it in me because I do not have an example in my own single-parent family unit to model after.
I know I have digressed, so here’s what I really wanted to say:
- If you currently demonstrate a hot streak of temper at home and are constantly fuming and throwing your tantrum whenever you get mildly pissed off, then it is likely you’d do it to your own wife and children in the future.
- If you currently enter a recluse whenever there’s a conflict between your loved ones and stubbornly refuse to communicate with anyone by shutting yourself off, then it is likely that you’d do that with your spouse in the future.
- If you currently like to run away when things don’t go your way and escape from confrontations and avoid dealing with pressing moral, ethical, values or principles-related issues, then it is likely you’d abscond too from your family in the future.
- If you currently show an irate face whenever you’ve had a bad day and behave in an antisocial manner that prevents people from approaching you, then it is likely you will exhibit this behaviour to your kids in the future.
The analogies given above are just a tip of the ice-berg. I am sure you are smart enough to know what I am talking about. This applies to any relationship, even outside of the family unit. So consider it carefully whenever you are about to do or say something that may jeopardise the harmony amongst your family (and friends). Remember that whatever that you do in the present has a chance of relapse in the future. Hence, build good and positive habits today if you want to establish a good and positive culture for tomorrow.
top ten personal requests.
Posted by Joey Asher Tan
I’ve been wanting to publish an entry to highlight some housekeeping matters for some time now and so I finally shall do it today. I’m pleased to say that this is the 180th post since this blog incepted last October. I’m still adding value to it so that your navigation is a breeze and your precious time with me in the virtual world is well-spent. In time to come, besides writing new material, I will also be cleaning up categories and tags, adding more pages and updating links. Basically, I want to enhance and improve the user interactivity and experience of my blog.
To make this happen, I need you to get involved. I know, from my previous blogs and from observing other blogs which are miles cooler than mine, that there are definitely more phantom than active readers. I think I have a healthy following on my blog and so I’d love to hear more from more of you. Reading your thoughts and opinions really does make writing a lot more fun I desire to incite responses. So, help me along yeah?
Without further ado, please allow me to present the top ten things you can do on my blog to enhance your experience here – these are also my personal requests as a writer. Yes, I’m shamelessly asking you to walk an extra mile with me. Would you? (:
1. SUBSCRIBE! If you are already checking my blog regularly, why not conveniently receive my new posts in your mailbox at the time of publication? Simply drop your email at the side bar on the right and click on subscribe.
2. RSS! (Trivia: did you know that it stands for “Really Simple Syndication”?) Most mailboxes have this function and most blog readers use this function. You can do that by clicking on the RSS icon on the right, the RSS word on top, or simply just click here.
3. COMMENT! Have I ever mentioned that I love receiving comments? If you are already leaving comments on my Facebook links, could I trouble you to leave your great comments on the blog itself? I request for this because I want to remember the comments. Comments on Facebook disappear into cyber wilderness over time, but comments here are saved and archived accordingly for future recapitulations.
4. RATE! I’ve added the rating system (“Rate This”) at the top of every post for your convenient rating. Ratings are useful indicators; good ratings help me to recognise popular entries that people have enjoyed and poor ratings help me to improve on my writing or selection of topics. It doesn’t matter if it’s one star or five stars. So for my sake, please just rate! (You remain anonymous anyway.)
5. RE-BLOG! Maybe you need ideas for new entries, maybe you have done a little reflection after reading my posts, or maybe your comments are so long it could become a post itself. It’d be my honour if you, from time to time, used my blog as a base for your thoughts and entries. My only request is that you let me know, so that I can check it out and reciprocate the gesture.
6. EXPLORE! Check out my pages, links, categories, tags and archives and search my blog (using the search field on the right)! My desire is to, after a year or two, have written on enough topics that this blog becomes a comprehensive collection of matters which matter to me.
7. CONTACT! It’s always fun to hear from strangers and I’ve “met” a couple of them here already – where I’ve “heard” their voices before I’ve met them face to face. My contact details are virtually everywhere. You could also add me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter. I really enjoy meeting new people!
9. SUGGEST! I’d love to write on a topic that people are more interested or inclined to read. So from time to time, I’ll try to share my thoughts on what’s current or frequently-asked. If you could suggest a topic for me, I’d love to take it up for these “challenges” serve to make me a better writer.
10. PUBLICISE! In layman terms, please spread the word for me! If you know someone who may be blessed by or benefit from what I share on this blog, please tell them about it. Also, do link me to your blog – I’ll return the gesture and link yours to mine.
Well, that brings me to the end of my 180th post. I hope you’ve enjoyed your time here for I’ve certainly enjoyed your virtual presence here. I look forward to spilling my brains out on a daily basis and also to seeing my top ten requests as a writer being fulfilled. Thank you for your continuous support; your encouragement really makes a difference and spurs me on to write some more. (:
Posted in Affirming Faithfulness, Extraordinary Mundane, Simple Pleasures, Top Ten & Other Lists
Tags: active readers, archives, blog, categories, comment, comprehensive, contact, current, explore, facebook, frequently-asked, housekeeping, improve, indicators, link, links, meet new people, pages, phantom readers, publicise, rate this, ratings, re-blog, read, reader, Really Simple Syndication, Reflection, RSS, search, spread the word, strangers, subscribe, suggest, tags, twitter, write, writer