top ten signs of insecurity.
If there was any weakness that was almost synonymous with any young person, it would be insecurity. Following close would be identity crisis, which incidentally is birthed from insecurity. Growing up with a Sanguine personality, I am able to identify with youths (and adults alike) who struggle with this problem. I can offer little solution except my own – I found my security in God, who doesn’t just doesn’t change (get it?), but is also constant. This helps me to trust in Him, knowing that at the end of the day, He alone makes me whole and He alone is completely in control of what’s going on, even when things feel as though it will come crumbling down. I can’t speak for every insecure person, but these were some of the things I did when I was younger, as a defence mechanism against the ugliness and unpleasantness of insecurity. Maybe it’d strike a chord with you?
1. I ranked friends and always moved their positions based on how they treated me.
2. I rushed in and out of relationships for I was afraid of being single and lonely.
3. I took great pains to look good and spent lots of time enhancing my appearance.
4. I spent lots of money on material items to stay “ahead” of the crowd – to be first.
5. I did and said things to attract attention because I wanted to be in the limelight.
6. I picked on and poked fun at people who were weaker and slower than I was.
7. I manipulated people’s feelings to make myself feel good and better than others.
8. I hid behind an ego and always needed to prove to others how good I was.
9. I was extremely possessive of my friends and my status in their lives.
10. I was afraid to tell others my flaws so they won’t change their impression of me.
11. I gave in willing and compromised to make people happy so that I’d be accepted.
12. I hid behind humour and found great comfort in being the funny and witty guy.
13. I could never ever deal with awkward silences in conversations, so I talk non-stop.
14. I hated it when people scorned or slammed my ideas – I couldn’t handle rejection.
15. I was always on the defensive (and offensive) whenever people questioned me.
16. I was bossy and always needed to be in control of every situation, regardless.
17. I thrived on people’s approval (of me, or the things I did) and sought mainly that.
18. I hated losing and constantly needed to be in pole position in any competition.
19. I criticised others when they criticised me even when they were faultless.
20. I emotionally blackmailed those whom I loved so I could control them.
I know this is supposed to be a top ten list but listing all these things came so naturally I had to double the quota. I may be in my mid-twenties already and I may be a church leader, but I’m still a wretched human being with an abundance of weaknesses. I’d be the first to raise my hand and to admit that I’m still struggling (and may continue to struggle with it all my life!) with some of these symptoms. However, the older I get, the more battles I win against insecurity, the more I am convinced that the grace of God is the only solution for this perennial problem. Next week, I will post the top ten recommended scriptures one could commit to memory and use to counter insecurity. It is my prayer that we break this bondage in our lives in the victory that comes with Jesus Christ!
give until it hurts.
“And he sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.” (Mark 12:41-44, English Standard Version)
All this while Jesus seemed to observe the action without indicating his presence. The poor widow and the rich folks didn’t seem to realise that Jesus was actually watching them; he simply took his seat opposite where the action took place and became a spectator.
Now, consider this – this woman wasn’t just a widow. It was as if losing a husband wasn’t bad enough. She was also broke. I’d like to think that the bible used this extremity to demonstrate that if someone like her can give, then surely everyone can – what excuse could we give?
It’s not about the amount but about the heart and attitude behind it.
Now, how did Jesus honour this poor widow? He commended her actions and said that it outdid the rich. I don’t know about you but I am relieved that Jesus doesn’t determine the significance of our offering by its monetary value but by its motivational source.
It’s not about how big the amount is, but about how big your heart is.
Jesus used a different yardstick of measurement and we should be glad, otherwise only the rich can move God. Hence I conclude that it’s not how much we give but how we give it. And it’s about what God can do with what we give. So let’s focus on what God can do and not what man can do.
A sacrifice is not a sacrifice unless it hurts. I’m sure that the poor widow considered the consequences of her actions and contribution before she actually gave the two copper coins. She probably knew that she would have to starve for the week. She probably knew that she would be worrying when she slept that night. Yet she gave and she gave until it hurt. And well, she got the attention of Jesus.
If we want to get the attention of Jesus, we’ll have to give an amount that hurts. And I’m not even talking about just giving our monies. I’m talking about our time, resources and talents. Our reward is the commendation of Jesus, and I pray that that itself is enough for you (as if the mere attention of Jesus isn’t enough).