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the 2003 (self-)prophecy came true.

I’m currently away with my beloved GII Shepherds, GI Community Leaders as well as with all the R-AGE full-time staff at Aloha Yatch Club, planning for R-AGE in 2011. I know I’m a visionary, but planning isn’t one of my main strengths (that’s why I’m always thankful to God for sending me HY, for she is my ideal complement); I guess I could still be excellent at planning (or just about anything I put my heart to, even administration *puke* – which I’m sure will not exist in heaven…), but I wouldn’t be as thrilled about planning as I am about vision-casting. I believe that visionary leaders must determine the destination while strategic leaders chart the journey.

This is a long shot, but I think my gift for visions and prophecies started when I was 20 years old. In the final semester of my Mass Communication days in Ngee Ann Polytechnic, for this module called “Professional Preparation”, we was given the assignment of writing a cover letter to complement the resume which we had already put together. Most of my friends applied for positions like “Intern Reporter”, “Intern Public Relations Executive”, “Intern Advertising Executive”“Intern Radio Presenter” and the likes – basically jobs that we have been studying and training for in the last three years. No prizes for guessing what I applied for! Enjoy the read, and be careful what jobs you apply for. (:

***

3 March 2003

Pastor Ronald Yow
Youth Pastor

R-AGE Ministry
Grace Assembly of God
355 Tanglin Road
Singapore 247960

Dear Pastor Yow,

HERE I AM, TO SERVE – AS AN INTERN YOUTH PASTOR.

I have been actively involved in R-AGE Ministry ever since it inaugurated in July 1997. My sizeable contributions over the past six years are testimony to the commitment I give to this youth group.

My character temperament – a Sanguine-Choleric – is ideal for the role of an intern youth pastor. My ability to influence and inspire, as well as my outgoing personality underlines the charisma required of youth pastors. Furthermore, I am perceived as a natural leader amongst my peers and I am initiated to assume the role of a leader in most group settings.

I also believe I possess the three most imperative qualities that an intern youth pastor should have.

Being Faithful: I believe this characteristic is displayed through my perseverance in serving in the Creative Arts Ministry Youth (CAMY). I started out as a backup singer; I am now confirmed as a worship leader. I also believe that an effective youth pastor must be grounded in the Word of God. In addition to pursuing the Word of God on a daily basis, I also attend Precept Bible Study classes on a weekly basis and am also a part of the Diakonos (discipleship group).

Being Available: Currently, my two main commitments are the CAMY and TeamR-AGE (a youth soccer team that I have pioneered) and I hold key leadership roles in both ministries. I have also been engaged in various R-AGE events over the past years; my proudest effort would be coordinating the hugely successful programme for Dream-Makers (annual youth camp). The extra involvements indicate my availability, enthusiasm, initiative and my desire to serve outside of my fixed duties.

Being Teachable: My mentors and leaders, who know and understand me well, assert that I have the humility to be corrected and taught. I am an autodidact; on top of picking up things fast, I always endeavor to learn new things and explore new ways to do old things, making every effort to be more efficient and productive.

My involvement with TeamR-AGE and my experience of leading SoHelpUsGod (youth cell group) also reinforces my ability to manage a group of young people. Besides singing and songwriting, I can also play multiple instruments – essential skills that can be utilised for corporate and personal ministry purposes.

Moreover, with the youth congregation rapidly growing to beyond 250, an increase of more than 50 per cent in just two years, I believe that my appointment would make a timely significant contribution to R-AGE ministry.

I am driven by a spirit of excellence and strive to give only my best. And with a relevant mass communication background, I have been conditioned to work under tight deadlines and to deliver quality work under stress. I believe this attribute, accompanied by the others I have listed above, makes me an excellent consideration for the role of an intern youth pastor, ultimately leading to a full-time youth pastor position after I complete Bible College.

Yours sincerely,

Joey Tan
Enc. One copy of resume (3 pages)

***

Prophetic or whaaaaaaat? Hehe. I love my job; it’s like a dream come true to be doing what I’m doing, for a living. (:

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top ten signs of insecurity.

If there was any weakness that was almost synonymous with any young person, it would be insecurity. Following close would be identity crisis, which incidentally is birthed from insecurity. Growing up with a Sanguine personality, I am able to identify with youths (and adults alike) who struggle with this problem. I can offer little solution except my own – I found my security in God, who doesn’t just doesn’t change (get it?), but is also constant. This helps me to trust in Him, knowing that at the end of the day, He alone makes me whole and He alone is completely in control of what’s going on, even when things feel as though it will come crumbling down. I can’t speak for every insecure person, but these were some of the things I did when I was younger, as a defence mechanism against the ugliness and unpleasantness of insecurity. Maybe it’d strike a chord with you?

1. I ranked friends and always moved their positions based on how they treated me.

2. I rushed in and out of relationships for I was afraid of being single and lonely.

3. I took great pains to look good and spent lots of time enhancing my appearance.

4. I spent lots of money on material items to stay “ahead” of the crowd – to be first.

5. I did and said things to attract attention because I wanted to be in the limelight.

6. I picked on and poked fun at people who were weaker and slower than I was.

7. I manipulated people’s feelings to make myself feel good and better than others.

8. I hid behind an ego and always needed to prove to others how good I was.

9. I was extremely possessive of my friends and my status in their lives.

10. I was afraid to tell others my flaws so they won’t change their impression of me.

11. I gave in willing and compromised to make people happy so that I’d be accepted.

12. I hid behind humour and found great comfort in being the funny and witty guy.

13. I could never ever deal with awkward silences in conversations, so I talk non-stop.

14. I hated it when people scorned or slammed my ideas – I couldn’t handle rejection.

15. I was always on the defensive (and offensive) whenever people questioned me.

16. I was bossy and always needed to be in control of every situation, regardless.

17. I thrived on people’s approval (of me, or the things I did) and sought mainly that.

18. I hated losing and constantly needed to be in pole position in any competition.

19. I criticised others when they criticised me even when they were faultless.

20. I emotionally blackmailed those whom I loved so I could control them.

I know this is supposed to be a top ten list but listing all these things came so naturally I had to double the quota. I may be in my mid-twenties already and I may be a church leader, but I’m still a wretched human being with an abundance of weaknesses. I’d be the first to raise my hand and to admit that I’m still struggling (and may continue to struggle with it all my life!) with some of these symptoms. However, the older I get, the more battles I win against insecurity, the more I am convinced that the grace of God is the only solution for this perennial problem. Next week, I will post the top ten recommended scriptures one could commit to memory and use to counter insecurity. It is my prayer that we break this bondage in our lives in the victory that comes with Jesus Christ!

too urgent to be important.

I just spent my entire evening putting together the Mary Magdalene sermon for tomorrow youth’s service. I am excited about delivering this one because of the sheer amount of lessons that Miss Magdalene could teach us with her life. While I have work on my mind, I also know that I have been writing daily and I have every intention to keep up the habit. So I shall blog while I take a break from writing the transcript and designing the slides (and I know that doesn’t sound like a break to most of you).

I think that it is especially relevant that I share my thoughts on the commonly debated definitions of importance and urgency. A man needs to realise which jigsaw he is and when he’ll be fitted into God’s masterpiece. If a man understands his role in his God-given life (be it a son, brother, boyfriend, buddy, officer, marketing manager, pastor or whatever), he will be able to derive his sense of vision – and this vision should steer him forward by way of goals and pursuits. Proverbs 29:18 (KJV) cannot be more true, “Where there is no vision, the people perish…”

It is from this vision that a man would be able to assign different levels of importance to his countless pursuits. Now, I think that there are many, too many, important quests in our lives, but once we neglect the important things, they becomes urgent. It stands true for aspirations like daily devotions, conversations with loved ones, consistent studying time, regular exercising, and even saving money; if you abandon any of these items for a long enough time, they automatically become urgent – spiritual dryness, detached relationships, academic straggling, poor fitness and health, and a pathetic bank account, respectively.

Let me give you a classic and relevant example. Fact – I’m a Sanguine and I procrastinate. (Now, I blame it on a lack of inspiration but the purists would rather attribute it to inconsistency.) I’ve known all along that I own this new testament characters sermon series since the beginning of the year and I keep telling myself that there’s REAL, there’s G2, there’s my surgery, etc. to clear before I attack this beast. Well, to put it honestly, I’ve deserted this important task for three months and only commenced work on it last week. So now this has become an urgent assignment (like it’s not obvious enough). There’s still a lot of quality and excellence put into it, don’t be mistaken; I spend on average 20 hours to prepare each sermon. And HY has already warned me against this consecutive burnings of midnight oil, yet it has still transpired. (Negative demonstration here – so learn!)

Now, from roles, we get visions, and from visions, we get goals, and from goals, we get priorities – the key to juggling importance and urgency. Remember, priority is not how much space or how many times it appears in your calendar, but the sequence by which it enters your calendar. If spending time with God is high on your priority list then it should enter your calendar first, and your other activities should be planned around it; the same principle applies to time spent with family and loved ones. So here’s the lesson – prioritise well if you want to perspire lesser.

understanding your personality temperament.

Whenever I meet other Christian leaders for the first time, I always like to ask if they know their character temperaments because it gives me a opportunity to instantly square them up. While it’s not always good to do this, it does give me a certain head start in knowing how to engage them. I believe that a leader should be versatile and conversational skills are always a helpful for a leader.

There are four personality temperaments – Sanguine (I), Choleric (D), Melancholic (C), Phlegmatic (S). Some may be more familiar with D-I-S-C. I’ll describe each personality very briefly, according to my understanding:

Sanguine – Extroverted and people-oriented, this ball of energy is popular with people and is often inspiring and persuasive. However, he is usually an insecure person, struggles with being alone and is a scatterbrain.

Choleric – This task-oriented, natural-born leader operates with authority and is a high-achiever who is often outspoken and domineering. However, he also bossy, insensitive to other people’s feelings and struggles with submission.

Melancholic – A perfectionist to a T, this idealistic artist passionately pursues details and is often a peace-maker and a people-pleaser. However, his fragility is exhibited in being overly emotional, indecisive and hard to please.

Phlegmatic – No one brings stability, consistency and loyalty to the table as he easily as he does, as his steadfastness breeds people’s trust. However, his inability to overcome inertia often births laziness and results in him watching life sail him by.

I first took the personality test when I was 16 and I discovered that I was a Choleric-Sanguine (my score was something like S8 C14 M3 P0). Three years later I took the test again and discovered that I was Sanguine-Choleric (score of S16 C8 M6 P-3). Today, seven years later, I think I’m still predominantly a Sanguine. I guess my secondary trait would always be a Choleric but as I often mention, I think I’m a secret Melancholic, especially when I work and plan. I’ve intentionally efforted (what an irony!) to pick up Phlegmatic traits, but it still remains an elusive element. I’m thankful though, that 27 years later, with the Spirit’s help, I’ve learnt to be a lot more Spirit-controlled than uncontrollably Sanguine.

While understanding your personality temperaments allows you to perhaps relate a little better with others as well as to gain a better mastery of yourself, I’ve learnt to aspire to be like Jesus, who incidentally is the most balanced individual, I think. He wasn’t 25% SCMP, no, that would make Him inept and limited. I’d like to think that Jesus was 100% SCMP, making Him 400%. We see in His Sanguine in how He loved and fed people, as well as to heal and talk to them; His Choleric was demonstrated in how He was focussed on His mission and that caused Him to move from place to place to do ministry; Jesus demonstrated His Melancholic through His detailed and organised preaching of the comprehensive Sermon on the Mount; and His Phlegmatic was experienced in how meek and gentle He was with people, to offer peace to them.

I’ve read and repeated this cute analogy many times, and its self-mockery never fails to make people laugh:

Whenever there’s a problem;
The Choleric tries to solve the problem;
The Melancholic dwells in the problem;
The Phlegmatic doesn’t realise there’s a problem;
And the Sanguine IS the problem!

Our approach to life is always going to be different and with it comes a kaleidoscope of obstacles and challenges. Regardless of our personality temperaments, we’ll have our own sets of strengths and weaknesses to bear. I believe that confidence is an acute awareness of one’s strengths and weaknesses. And while we could do well to work on our weaknesses and operate in our strengths, I think that problems are one of the sure things in life, but – and here’s what the Holy Spirit just inspired me to pen down – “Whenever there’s a problem, Jesus is the ONLY solution!” Remember that!

And if you are keen to discover where you are Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic or Phlegmatic, you can click here to take the personality temperament test. Be sure to leave a comment to let me know what temperament you are!

can i dream with You?

In life, there are many things that we share in common; dreams are one (and nightmares are another, but let’s not go there today). We tend to associate positivity to dreams (e.g. daydreaming always seems light and fluffy, after all it can’t be scary building sandcastles in the sky, right?); and we tie in negative connotations to nightmares. There are, however, dreams that well, are just neutral.

Like most of you, I can’t quite recall the majority of my dreams. I do recall a few particular (bizarre) ones, such as:

  1. It was 1994 and the first World Cup I watched. Brazil won Italy on penalties and it was Italy’s maestro Roberto Baggio who missed that decisive last kick. I was Signore Baggio and I remember placing the football on the penalty spot. The millions of spectators in the stadium were rapturous in their chanting of “JOEY! JOEY!” (Yes, indulge me, please). Very non-chalently, I silenced all of them with a wave of my hand and I knelt down to gather a handful of grass. (This is when it gets crazy…) I put one blade of grass into my mouth… And I shouted, “MEE GORENG!!!” (!!!) This catapulted everyone into delirium and they began their choruses of “MEE GORENG! MEE GORENG!” I went on to score of course, not that it mattered anymore. Crazy, I know.
  2. A part of my childhood was spent in the messy precinct of Jalan Besar and that was when I was really into Taoism – deities, ghosts, spirits, souls blah blah blah. It was also the time that I was really into Ghostbusters… (Yes, the TV/movie series with Marshmallow Man.) I recall being able to fly and manoeuvre around the estate on some cool skateboard machine. My main task each evening was to heroically exterminate the spooky beings in the (there’s-something-strange-in-the-)neighbourhood. I did that with ease and a dash of suave of course, shooting out from my bazooka green, acidic, slimy blobs of I-don’t-know-what and sucking the vermin into an ashtray-shaped ghost containment unit. As with all crazy dreams, before the mission was over, I ended up RECRUITING these ghosts instead. There is no sense in this, of course.
  3. When I am stressed, I almost always end up dreaming about looking for a needle in a haystack. (Cliche, but that’s the most normal bizarre dream…)
  4. And when I am very stressed, I dream about eating a piece of cake that grows bigger and bigger with each mouthful, and this stupid piece of cake (I remember it to be a strawberry shortcake) grows to the size of a HDB flat! It gets really insane because I’m supposed to finish eating a piece of cake that doesn’t quite finish!

These are the four dreams that come to my mind all the time, but I think if I had the time, I’d be able to pen down a few more ridiculous ones. Does anyone have crazy (or crazier) or recurring dreams like that? Do share!

On a more serious note, I actually am of the opinion that creativity takes place in the purest form in dreams. It’s as if each night we go to sleep with a white canvas, beckoning God to paint on it. Think about it, there are absolutely no limits in dreams; I can be anyone, doing anything, at anywhere I desire, at anytime I determine and with or without anyone. To an extent, it is when we actually get to experience what CREATING is like. (With God as the supreme Creator, I opine that human beings have absolutely no creativity. We are only able to innovate because everything that we “create” is but a reference from something else that already exists. More on that in another entry…)

Hence with dreams potentially serving as such powerful platforms, I’m inclined to do what I wanted to do some time ago – put a small notebook beside my pillow and to jot down, in whatever semi-conscious state I am in in the immediate aftermath of any dream. This is as good as getting free downloads from the Creator of the universe. Sounds lunatic, but dreaming actually taps into the creative power of God. (I say that very loosely and irresponsibly, of course.)

The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that new songs and poems can be written and inspired by dreams. Dreaming is the playground for divine revelation and forward thinking. Our (finite) imagination is the platform for infinite possibilities. Holy smoke, I don’t even know how those statements came about. I believe that dreaming (whether day or night) transports us to places that our human eyes cannot see and our cognition cannot handle. We should not underestimate what (the work of God in) our minds are capable of accomplishing.

Of late, I keep dreaming of one particular action but in different scenes; I dream that I’m running against the wind – be it in football matches, away from crooks, chasing buses or even just regular jogging. Wind (or resistance), be it external or internal, is the immediate obstacle that is common to all, that all of us must overcome. I have mine and you have yours, in varying intensities. It’s always easier to cycle downhill or swim with the current; but it is running against resistance that train muscles and going against opposition that confidence is built up. These song lyrics sum up my sentiment perfectly:

逆风的方向,更适合飞翔;我不怕千万人阻挡,只怕自己投降。- 五月天:《倔强》

(Translated: Traveling against the wind is the best way to take flight; I’m not afraid of the opposition of a million people, I only fear my own surrender.)

I haven’t the faintest clue how this article evolved into this ending but I’m glad it did anyway; I just kept typing. In a sense, I put into practice what Finding Forrester advocates:

“No thinking – that comes later. You must write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is… to write, not to think!”

Spoken like a classic Sanguine, without first dreaming, we are never going to get anywhere. Dreaming without action may be useless and a complete waste of resources but without dreaming we have no solid action to execute at all! Let’s engage God in our dreams. Can I dream with You?

breaking inertia.

So… I am back from my weekend getaway to Shanghai and because the greatfirewallofchina has blocked wordpress (and facebook and youtube), I wasn’t able to post an entry. Yeah, it was a low key visit and it lasted no more than 3 days but it was an amazing adventure.

I have stories upon stories to regale but I also have this horrible monster called inertia. But I shall at least get the first post out so that I can retain the life of the blog. There’s a greater purpose to this blog (which I will reveal in time) and I shall not allow a Shanghai hiatus to take it away.

On a grander scale of things, I guess everyone goes through a period of inaction during their lives. As a sanguine, I cannot keep still, and as a choleric I cannot be unoccupied; I almost always am doing something all the time. It’s not a bad thing it’s not necessarily a good thing either.

But over the last couple of years, my phlegmatic has risen and I’ve learnt the art of waiting and just observing. It’s no excuse for not writing in the last few days but this is what’s on my mind at the moment. There’s a beauty in waiting and sometimes silence can be the loudest noise. I think God speaks regardless but sometimes it’s easier to hear Him when it’s quiet.

All right, now that I am writing again… May I continue this tomorrow. That’s all for today. It’s out of my system for now!

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