top ten signs of insecurity.

If there was any weakness that was almost synonymous with any young person, it would be insecurity. Following close would be identity crisis, which incidentally is birthed from insecurity. Growing up with a Sanguine personality, I am able to identify with youths (and adults alike) who struggle with this problem. I can offer little solution except my own – I found my security in God, who doesn’t just doesn’t change (get it?), but is also constant. This helps me to trust in Him, knowing that at the end of the day, He alone makes me whole and He alone is completely in control of what’s going on, even when things feel as though it will come crumbling down. I can’t speak for every insecure person, but these were some of the things I did when I was younger, as a defence mechanism against the ugliness and unpleasantness of insecurity. Maybe it’d strike a chord with you?

1. I ranked friends and always moved their positions based on how they treated me.

2. I rushed in and out of relationships for I was afraid of being single and lonely.

3. I took great pains to look good and spent lots of time enhancing my appearance.

4. I spent lots of money on material items to stay “ahead” of the crowd – to be first.

5. I did and said things to attract attention because I wanted to be in the limelight.

6. I picked on and poked fun at people who were weaker and slower than I was.

7. I manipulated people’s feelings to make myself feel good and better than others.

8. I hid behind an ego and always needed to prove to others how good I was.

9. I was extremely possessive of my friends and my status in their lives.

10. I was afraid to tell others my flaws so they won’t change their impression of me.

11. I gave in willing and compromised to make people happy so that I’d be accepted.

12. I hid behind humour and found great comfort in being the funny and witty guy.

13. I could never ever deal with awkward silences in conversations, so I talk non-stop.

14. I hated it when people scorned or slammed my ideas – I couldn’t handle rejection.

15. I was always on the defensive (and offensive) whenever people questioned me.

16. I was bossy and always needed to be in control of every situation, regardless.

17. I thrived on people’s approval (of me, or the things I did) and sought mainly that.

18. I hated losing and constantly needed to be in pole position in any competition.

19. I criticised others when they criticised me even when they were faultless.

20. I emotionally blackmailed those whom I loved so I could control them.

I know this is supposed to be a top ten list but listing all these things came so naturally I had to double the quota. I may be in my mid-twenties already and I may be a church leader, but I’m still a wretched human being with an abundance of weaknesses. I’d be the first to raise my hand and to admit that I’m still struggling (and may continue to struggle with it all my life!) with some of these symptoms. However, the older I get, the more battles I win against insecurity, the more I am convinced that the grace of God is the only solution for this perennial problem. Next week, I will post the top ten recommended scriptures one could commit to memory and use to counter insecurity. It is my prayer that we break this bondage in our lives in the victory that comes with Jesus Christ!

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About Joey Asher Tan

Apart from Jesus, I can do nothing; I am absolutely nothing without Christ.

Posted on June 1, 2010, in A Walk To Remember, Affirming Faithfulness, Attempted Provocation, Forever Young, In Your Face, Retrospective Reflections, The Greatest Gift, Top Ten & Other Lists and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I totally can understand. It is true and encouraging to know, i’m not alone fighting insecurity. Surely, you’ll get stronger cause i’ve grown stronger over the last two weeks. I super-like this post. What made you post this? Was it a draft from a long time ago?

  2. Hey josh,

    Yeah I really can see how God is working through you in the past few weeks. Actually, I wanted to post another top ten list of marathon-related stuff, but as I walked home late last night, the Spirit downloaded these thoughts into my head and I felt very prompted to reach out to those, especially young people, who are struggling with insecurity (and many are!) because I felt that they needed a voice and they needed to be heard – so I just obeyed the prompting in my heart and shared what I have been struggling with in this area through my teenage years.

    I’m glad it has ministered to you. This isn’t the first time the Spirit has worked in this manner; I complete writing an article only to publish something completely different when God speaks to me. Maybe this explains my 70+ drafts!

    Remember bro, only the grace of God has, can and will see you through not just this struggle but with every other! I’m looking forward to see a Joshua that will shine even brighter for Jesus in the days to come! May you continue to trust in Him!

    j.

  3. Still am, God is so good to me.:)

  1. Pingback: 2010 in review. « joey asher | misunderstoodsunshinekid

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