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off the record, for the record.

I’m genuinely stunned by the level of interest in my celebratory announcement – 335 hits! That’s madness, really. This is a record-breaking number of hits and it beat the previous record-breaking day by two-fold. Anyway, HY says it’s an anomaly and I concur. Nonetheless, thank you for sharing in our Dawson joy! God is good and I praise Him.

I had planned to write in advance and schedule posts during the course of the coming youth camp but since I enjoyed blogging by email via my mobile phone during Retreat, I shall attempt to retain this practice because I believe that God will continue to speak to me during Pierce, and I want to register it.

I shall leave you with a slideshow of a series of 30 encouragement cards which I have specially designed for Pierce; these will be the main vehicles of an improvised “Angel and Mortal” game that the campers will enjoy and learn from throughout the three days and nights. All pictures are original and were taken during my recent travels.

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A slight sidetrack here. I believe God has begun to develop a new gift in me – prophecy. I shall withhold details for now but I think it’s a landmark I’d want to journal down for it will demarcate a new journey in my spiritual development. I look forward to a breakthrough in my spiritual gifts. I desire to walk and live by the Spirit!

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daily retreat summaries tidied up for better reading.

I couldn’t stand the mess, so I sorted it out.

For your reading pleasure. Enjoy! (:

day five – if you want it, you must own it.

When I got home from Retreat, I went on a sleeping marathon. And thus it explains my one-day hiatus from blogging. Pardon the delay, these were what I’ve learnt and the things on my mind on the final day of Retreat.

  • Returning to our folly – our old ways – is as disgusting as a dog returning to consume its own vomit. There’s a reason why the author wrote about this sentiment with such an extreme and graphic analogy.
  • I’ve always believed that before revival begins in the smallest things – from our private spiritual disciplines to our individual evangelistic efforts – before it progresses to the large-scale level.
  • Only by the grace of God would we be able to “make it”. Don’t for one second think that we can experience or “attain” revival by our own efforts.
  • I liked what ZA said about how pentacostal Christians seem to over-rely on being (over-)spiritual to accomplish everything.
  • One word that was impressed upon my heart throughout the Retreat was, “Ownership”. Often times we fail to take onus of our own learning, reading, praying, and the likes. I concur that the victory of our hands and habits begins with the battle in our heads and hearts.
  • Since spiritual authority comes from time spent with God, it is imperative then, that we build an altar – a place of meeting and fellowship with God – daily. We ought to begin every day by moving with God in a new way.
  • DL concluded the Retreat by sharing from Luke 9:42 – that we should count the cost of following Jesus, care for each other and be committed to God.

So this concludes the end of my first Retreat as a full-time staff. My duties weren’t as eventful as I had hoped it to be – I say this because the youth committee did a splendid job. (By the way, KY, you have a wonderful gift with the younger youths and I thank God for His anointing upon your life. Remember to invite me to your contract signing!)

I thoroughly enjoyed the last five days, although I must be honest and say that the highlight of the Retreat took place outside of the Retreat. (More on than in the coming entries.) God is awesome and I’m awestruck by how amazing He’s blessed HY and I in the last two weeks. Without a shadow of doubt, the series of events definitely strengthened my faith in our good God, who gives us what we need and to deliver it in His perfect timing. How can I not trust and praise Him now? Glory to God!

day four – i am what i think.

HY and I had to miss the final evening service of the Retreat for an important task (more on that in a separate post) but the morning service was such an amazing spiritual buffet that it was more than enough food. These thoughts fed my mind on day four of Grace Retreat 2010 (and I feel so full).

  • God may not empower you to choose but He will empower your choices; you need to quit waiting on God to prod you into action.
  • It’s not what we consume that defiles us but what leaves our mouth that does; the mind is not godless, it’s what we do with the mind that makes us godless.
  • The pleasures of sin don’t last forever, and the Devil knows that we’ve given our hearts to Jesus, so that’s why he is after our mind; hence the manner in which we deploy our mind is of paramount importance.
  • Proverbs 23:7, paraphrased – “I am becoming what I’m thinking”. Life follows thoughts – that is why we need a resurrected mind, for attitude influences behaviour and thoughts determine future. Therefore, we ought to keep our brain strong for it controls the heart.
  • Psalm 26:2 – “Test my mind” – to test is to examine so as to purge or clean out; you go to a doctor to find out what’s wrong (to fix it) and not what’s right: I’ve always believed that “judgment” is a neutral and necessary word, for evaluation.
  • The mind is naturally set on the flesh which leads to death, so you should set your mind on the Spirit, which gives life and peace.
  • Psalm 1:1-2 – Exercising the mind is like training the body – it takes effort! And so we should remember that memory work comes before revelation; if Jesus memorised the Word and practised spiritual disciplines, then there’s no reason why we shouldn’t or are exempted from it.
  • My destiny is not heaven – that’s my destination – my destiny is to fulfill my purpose on this earth. I don’t wanna miss the whole point of life on earth!
  • What am I feeding myself? All that we intake are seeds, and one day these seeds will bear fruit; my fruit will be and is determined by my seed.
  • Philippians 4:8 – We should train our brain by conditioning it to think about the right things; rubbish in, rubbish out.
  • 1 Peter 1:13 – We are instructed to “gird up” our minds for action, so we must nourish and feed it. As a result, the training of our thinking should lead to our acting. How? By thinking through things, memorising and meditating, as well as dwelling and pondering on Scripture.
  • Digging deep into God’s Word is like a dog devouring a bone; it never relents until it goes deep enough to get all the remaining flesh, oil and the best bits of the bone; almost as if to “suck the marrow out of life”.
  • Romans 8:6 – Revelation is most powerfully experienced when it speaks to your mind, moves to your heart and flows through your life.

To my surprise, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed ZA’s and JA’s preaching. They were, for a lack of a better way to phrase it, typical pentacostal preachers, but their teaching is biblically sound and to a certain extent, Word-based. Not the expository style of EC, BH or JP that I’ve always preferred, but still solid preaching. One thing I prayed and asked God for during this Retreat is to make me both a Word-based teacher and a Spirit-filled preacher.

day three – arise, faith, arise.

On the third day, Jesus rose from the dead; on the third day of this Retreat, my faith rose to another level. These are the thoughts of a man with little faith and was gently rebuked by God, for He has certainly proved His faithfulness to me, not that He needed to.

  • To proclaim that the kingdom is at hand is to do the three things Jesus commonly did – to save, to heal and to do miracles.
  • Biblically, there are three types of faith – desperate, believing and persistent; regardless of category, we ought to depend on God as a newborn babe would depend on his mother, for without faith we cannot please God (Hebrews 11:6).
  • Faith is not about praying harder, longer or louder, and is not about begging or pleading with God, but focussing on God and how big He is, and not on our faith.
  • Contrary to popular belief, faith isn’t based on feeling, emotion or circumstances, but on facts; didn’t Jesus rise from the dead? That’s a fact and that’s healthy faith; you can’t get saved without the Holy Spirit filling you.
  • The mustard seed illustration is not about the size of our faith but the size of God, that we may see who He is and how circumstances yield to His power.
  • Faith is to be exercised and activated, after it is taught and learnt; it is the currency in the kingdom of God and the absence of it renders you invalid.
  • The Holy Spirit is the key to revelation and the grace of the Holy Spirit does the recalibration and reorientation. Conviction is not condemnation.
  • Don’t try to get something you already have. Instead, we should keep the Spirit dripping like a tap intentionally left turned on slightly, so that whenever we require Him, He will be there, ready to flow.
  • We’ll worry lesser about what others think of us when we realise how seldom they actually do. May this free my young people to relate with others.
  • In my full-time calling, I should never worry about the money factor or even allow it to be a consideration because God will always make a way.
  • Always pray in the Spirit, for when your body is out, your spirit is still praying. Praying in the Spirit means that you are always praying the will of God and hence you will always be on target. Lastly, praying in the Spirit is a decision – so make it, “I will decide to pray in my spirit”.
  • The three primary purposes of speaking spiritual language is for praise, intercession and edification.
  • After you learn to speak the language, you will learn to live the lifestyle; operating by the Spirit is to walk by the Spirit and not by the flesh and hence it should naturally lead to a fruitful life of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

In my time with God in the morning, He spoke to me through Psalm 126:3 and it’s a reminder of His steadfast grace, unmerited favour and unfailing love in my life. HY and I have picked out our top 20 choices but we have a feeling that we’ll end up with that particular unit that we set our eyes on from the start.

“The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad.” God is good, He really is. Oh me of little faith. I should learn to step out of the boat!

“My son, you don’t need to prove anything to anyone because you are already fully-approved by Me and Me alone and that’s enough. Be secure in who I’ve created you to be and don’t get tangled in meeting the expectations of men.”

day two – hurt people hurt people.

These are the things on my mind at the close of the second day at Grace Retreat 2010.

  • When God pursues you, it is because He’s looking for a mouth to speak through, to accomplish His own purposes for His own glory.
  • Let us be wary about a cavalier attitude towards our calling and God’s anointing in our lives; many feel the touch of the mantle, but only a few respond to it.
  • Does authority come from positions and statuses or come from the Lord? A rhetorical question but a necessary reminder. Do you find security in who you are or what you do? What a timely reality check.
  • A stronghold is like a prison that keeps you in and keeps others out.
  • Fear may cause us to isolate ourselves and cause a driven person who is performance-oriented to gain acceptance this way.
  • A prior rejection of others may cause us to reject people even before they get a chance to reject us, as a result of our self-defence mechanisms.
  • Flying a kite teaches us a lesson on letting go; but beyond that, it teaches us to relinquish control of our own power to release it to a greater power that will take the kite to places that we could never imagine we could in the limitations of our power and ability; we should let go for something greater.
  • God challenged my perspective on being authentic. I used to live by, “Why should I tell you who I am? If I tell you who I am, and you don’t like who I am, that’s all I’ve got.” It was time for a paradigm shift and to trust God to protect my esteem and security, regardless of who or what I encounter.

I look forward to Wednesday. 79 to go! You give and take away, my heart will choose to say, “Blessed be Your name”. I love You, Lord. Amen.

day one – come to Me and you will find rest.

I’m blogging from my mobile phone so posts will be short and sweet. I’ll do the tagging and categorising when I’m back in Singapore. These are what I took home from day one at the Grace Retreat 2010.

  • There’s a need to be a man of the Word but it’s also important to be a man of the Spirit because the Spirit gives birth to the truth of the Word.
  • I can pastor people but I can’t do their ministry. (I’ve actually written an entire entry on this but I guess I’ll wait until after Retreat to elaborate on it.)
  • In Matthew 11:28, it’s almost as if Jesus was saying, “If you don’t come apart, you will come apart”. I thought that was a nice word play with nuances of truth.
  • Going out of wine was the most disastrous scenario for Jewish customs; this was paralleled to being “weary”. Will read up more before I nod in agreement.
  • When the enemy can’t take your heart, he’ll take your vision. That’s why it’s important that you always have vision – one of the most common and significant miracles Jesus did was to heal the blind, so they they could see the plans of God; a good analogy, but a little presumptuous, nonetheless, I’ll give benefit of doubt.

That aside, God has been speaking to my heart about certain issues I’ve been struggling with pertaining to ministry. I will continue to struggle with the Lord on these matters.

Lord, may You reveal things to me that would change my life. I love You and I need you to touch me fresh and anew. I cannot run on empty and I need Your grace in my life to help me operate and advance. Spirit, don’t pass me by…

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